The Onion

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The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

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founded 3 years ago
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Distressing Survey Finds Most U.S. Citizens Unable To Name All 340 Million Americans (theonion.com)
submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
8 comments fedilink
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Self-Described “Free Spirit” Gets Suspiciously Irritable When Asked How They Pay Rent (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
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U.S. Mint Introduces New Controversial John Wilkes Booth Pennies (theonion.com)
submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
5 comments fedilink
 
 

the Onion is having a pretty nice day right now.

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Mark Zuckerberg legally changes name to ‘Elon’ (newsthump.com)
submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
21 comments fedilink
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Honey Co-Creator Claims Algorithm "Divinely Inspired" (isglitch.com)
submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
 
 

Git History Reveals Midnight Copy-Paste from uBlock Origin

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Black Teenager Sentenced to Life Without Possibility of Parole After Making Hush Money Payments to Stormy Daniels (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
17 comments fedilink
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DNA Evidence Frees Black Man Convicted Of Bear Attack (ONN) (youtu.be)
submitted 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
 
 

Georgia police were so confident Marshall was the man who killed young Janet Kelly in a state bear preserve, they didn't investigate other suspects.

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Biden Wanders Into Flames (theonion.com)
submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
2 comments fedilink
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2025’s Writers begin new season with subtle foreshadowing (chaser.com.au)
submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
7 comments fedilink
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Biden Takes Immediate Action On Los Angeles Wildfires By Sending New Weapons Package to Israel (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
34 comments fedilink
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Upstaged (theonion.com)
submitted 7 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
2 comments fedilink
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Depressed Man Unable to Afford Therapy Buys 4K Blu-ray Player Instead (hard-drive.net)
submitted 7 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
4 comments fedilink
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Man Dies After Secret 4-Year Battle With Gorilla (theonion.com)
submitted 7 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
52 comments fedilink
 
 

This is one of the best Onion articles ever. Read the whole thing.

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Not all chainsaws (midwest.social)
submitted 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
19 comments fedilink
 
 

Posted by Clickhole on IG

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Mark Zuckerberg, Recipient of World's First Rat Penis Transplant, Announces Meta Will Stop Fact Checking (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 7 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
53 comments fedilink
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Grandma Wants to Know When She Gets to Meet This Luigi Boy You Can't Stop Talking About (reductress.com)
submitted 7 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
2 comments fedilink
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Leonardo DiCaprio distances self from 21st century after it turns 25 (chaser.com.au)
submitted 7 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
3 comments fedilink
 
 

"I can't look at the year, the idea of a date being '25' makes me want to throw up."

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Perdue Announces Initiative To Even The Playing Field By Giving Chickens Guns (theonion.com)
submitted 7 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
4 comments fedilink
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Right-Wing Influencer's Bot Farm Goes Dark During H-1B Protest (isglitch.com)
submitted 7 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
3 comments fedilink
 
 

Investigation reveals overseas engagement service coincidentally offline during cricket match

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It’s Easter now, insist supermarkets (newsthump.com)
submitted 7 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
8 comments fedilink
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Duracell Removes Frosting, Sprinkles To Discourage Kids From Eating Batteries (theonion.com)
submitted 7 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
7 comments fedilink
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Man Returns To Work After Vacation With Fresh, Reenergized Hatred For Job (theonion.com)
submitted 7 months ago by Junkernaught to c/[email protected]
25 comments fedilink
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Congress Votes on Occular Penitration Act (youtube.com)
submitted 7 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
 
 

Some might say, "This is from 2007!", and I would argue how many cases of occular penitration have been in the news since then?

I rest my case.

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48-Year-Old Rabbit Finally Finishes The Job (theonion.com)
submitted 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
 
 

For anyone out of the loop: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jimmy_Carter_rabbit_incident

RIP Jimmy, thanks for 100 years of humble service.

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Gym Installs Confusing New Equipment To Mess With Anyone Joining In January (theonion.com)
submitted 7 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
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