food

beer > seltzer water as a fruit flavor base. it's like a muffin. wouldn't buy one might make one.

Full recipe: https://msshiandmrhe.com/vegan-honey/

My mother in law sent me this seed packet, and I'm dying laughing. There's actually some kind of seeds in it - I can hear them rattling, but it's not opened and I'm not going to. The mystery is better.

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Replies have people chiming in with their legendary grannies.

Death to America

A while back I had a few spare onions so I made onion jam with them. Now I can't stop. I keep putting it on everything; it's taking over my life.

Anyways, here's the recipe:

• Peel 4 onions (or more), slice & dice as much as you can be bothered to
• Add 2 tbsp oil to a pan, set to low heat and add onions. Add generous pinch of salt and stir.
• Boring part: caramelise for 30 mins, stir regularly, add a little water as and when the onions start to catch or blacken
• Mix together 2 tbsp brown sugar with 2 tbsp balsamic vinegar and add to onions - stir and reduce for 5 mins
• You should have a jammy, spreadable consistency. Take off the heat and serve as hot condiment, or store in the fridge and use later as a cold condiment. Smear it all over yourself if you so desire.
• Lasts about a week refrigerated, if you can even leave it that long.

I've been using it on homemade burgers, pizzas and italian subs - gimme suggestions cause I'm just gonna keep making the stuff indefinitely, or until I get sick of it.

It's great!

But please DO NOT cook a 1:1 sugar:beans ratio else you'll die of diabetes yesterday. I make it with 3 parts of cooked beans, 1 part of sugar and 1 part of water, cook it till desired texture.

Also I like the beans very squished with the pressure cooker + mixer, but some people like it chunkier, so idk experiment a little.

Pre pesto posting

I just threw some seeds in some potting soil and bam. I didn't germinate the seeds or any of that nonsense on the back of the seedpack. Real life is stardew valley.

I imagine I should replant some of these in their own pots, but I'm too scared to do that so I won't :blob-no-thoughts:

Sadly my canning adventure was aborted when I realized my phat mason jars are too damn big for my pressure cooker. However, the beans I made were so good and I ate too much and now my stomach hurts. The rest are in my freezer for after my trip :3

Also I made them granola bars @xXthrowawayXx posted only I used molasses and chia seeds instead of jelly bc I only have orange jelly that was on sale and the idea of orange + peanut butter made me afraid. They are a little chewy and coulda cooked longer but very tasty! Thanks for sharing that!

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Trying to make a big vat of slop to sustain me on the road so I don't spend a ton of money on glorp and fast food.

Actually a good combo. Chopped an onion Sando into bite sizes and it’s paired rather well with vodka as lil snacks in between shots. The lingering nature of onion actually becomes a benefit when it comes to a drinking snack.

Kotipizza

A tweet disagrees with the sequence of events.

It was changed before Berlusconi died, perhaps that's what did it.

Just admit to yourself that you left the rice on for too long or whatever and that it’s going to take some real scrubbing to get it clean again. It’s okay, I’m here for you. Admitting you have a problem is the first step to solving it.

neat corn stuff

I COOK like a MAN. With a CAST IRON SKILLET. And then I DRY IT GENTLY with a CLOTH. And ANOINT IT'S FACE LIGHTLY WITH OILS. And then put it in its SPECIAL AREA like a LITTLE PRINCE.

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read theory, ~~radlib~~ foodlib: https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C5&q=%22farmers+markets%22+neoliberalism&btnG=

Who owns those marketplaces? Are they privatized entities that have stolen and enclosed our public commons for "public private partnerships"? Is this accumulation by dispossession, like those community centers demolished by white supremacist Reagan neoliberals in '80s movies like Breakin' 2 Electric Boogaloo?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Farmers%27_market

wikipedia's suspiciously class unconscious article shills for this praxis which in my experience is mostly designed for petite bourgeois racist Karens who delude themselves with utopian dreams of universal inclusion (shoutout to Maintenance Phase podcast's ep on the foundational neoliberal ideology foodlib Michael Pollan https://podbay.fm/p/maintenance-phase/e/1649149200)

The Karen's romanticized view of food production like "I know exactly where my cow is farmed thanks to these nifty holocaust barcodes". They aren't very inclusive of the working class whose actual needs and desires often conflict with landowners. Check out this pure ideology:

the support of independent growers by local community members can enhance local economic opportunities and health & wellness in poor communities (the article then links to: "Dual Labor Market Theory and the Institutionalization of Farmers' Markets: Marginalized Workers Adapting to Inhospitable Conditions in Louisiana")

"ACTUALLY, it's good praxis that women and ethnic minorities are secondary citizens because they can be liberated by being our unregulated slave contract workers, wow, I love being a ~~satanic kulak attacking and dethroning God to steal his divine creation which he made for you and me~~ independent grower!!! Michael Pollan is so right about Joel Salatin's libertarian utopia!" :matt:

also this:

Modern industrial food production's advantages over prior methods depend largely on modern, cheap, fast transport and limited product variability. But transport costs and delays cannot be eliminated. So where distance strained industrial suppliers' reach, where consumers had strong preference for local variety, farmers' markets remained competitive with other forms of food retail. Starting in the mid-2000s, consumer demand for foods that are fresher (spend less time in transit) and for foods with more variety—has led to growth of farmers' markets as a food-retailing mechanism.

"Degrowth isn't a popular grassroots movements, it must be the WEF and Klaus Schwab who are pushing that purity fetish ideology on our innocent petite bourgeois Karen consumers. I don't know why we see this behavior from the same women who obsessively buy Goop products to remove 'toxins' and make them feel less polluted and sterilized by late capitalism. Actually Walmart is a model for a socialist planned economy, their logistics are obviously superior to local production if you read the science from Monsanto. We need those highly processed and preservative filled products made from soy planted in the burnt remains of The Amazon/Ukraine, Lula and Putin are fucking reactionary green fascists for denying my labor aristocrat comrades cheap burger meat! My cows will NEVER eat ~~locally sourced high protein feed~~ bugs!!!" - woke DSA/anti-woke patriotic socialists united in their 'consumer freedom for individuals' Liz Warren Reaganite ideology.

Sorry if I've asked this before my memory is shit.

1. What are the tastiest beans?

2. Which beans do you personally cook with the most often?

3. What are refried beans? They look scary to my dumb cracka ass, do they taste good?

4. Please help me find some nice easy bean recipes that taste good. Share some of your own.

5. Which are the healthiest beans?

:bean: :cool-bean: :chickpea:

Edit: thanks for the suggestions, they worked and I now know what rhubarb looks like.

Does anyone know of an app or website that is good for identifying what they are? I’ve found several for plants in the ground, but they are pre cut.

Cronch

i just got 'reprimanded' for using pork belly instead of pork cheeks like what the fuck