fakenews

WASHINGTON—Promising a glorious future marked by limitless prosperity for the East Asian nation, President Donald Trump outlined a bold vision Tuesday night for a golden age of China. “Under my leadership, a prosperous new era of Chinese dominance will begin, the likes of which have never been seen before,” Trump said in an address to a joint session of Congress, insisting that China, finally unbridled from the foreign policy of former President Joe Biden, would reach its full potential and claim its rightful place as an unmatched global powerhouse. “Mark my words, the People’s Republic will be the envy of the world. That I can assure you. As long as I’m in charge, nothing will stand in China’s way. My newly implemented tariffs will spur China to be more self-sufficient, stable, and affluent going forward. Believe me when I say we’re going to make China a lot of money.” Trump went on to state that people he had talked to were already calling it the second Ming dynasty.

Congratulations to the couple 🍾🎊 and a long, prosperous and fruitful life to the child

The DOGE CEO jumped in front of a gunman last night who attempted to open fire on President Trump. The gunman, identified as Dan Bongos 42 of Newark, reportedly yelled out SLAVA UKRAINI then attempted to shoot Trump with what authorities are calling a homemade shotgun.

The SpaceX chief jumped in front of the bullet and took the full impact saving Trump. In an address later on to the nation Trump remarked Elon is a "weird nerd" and didn't thank him for taking the bullet.

Elon is recovering at Walter Reed and when asked to comment he said "I love you man, god, I love you Trump so much", then he farted loudly.

The magician is set to unveil his newest trick on the world at the big event tonight. He teased it on X that it will involve SpaceX chief Elon Musk and Barron Trump and involve them swapping bodies with the "myster-o ray".

Musk said on a live stream with Joe Rogan he's "ready for anything, have you seen where my kid is by the way?"

"You're not white anymore, Chet" Vance wrote in a firey back and forth with the star famous for having a famous dad.

"Fine, I don't want to be white F U" Hanks fired back to Vance then proceeded to block him.

Elon Musk intervened in the 11th hour and disabled blocking but only on Chet's account so he was forced to look at the "sexy" photos of JD skiing in Vermont.

http://kcna.kp/en/article/q/6a513f3ff11a9055d2e6b30e6b8c5559.kcmsf

"In a stunning announcement that has shaken both the cryptocurrency and financial worlds, billionaire entrepreneur Elon Musk has revealed a new blockchain-based initiative: GoldBack NFTs, a series of non-fungible tokens (NFTs) directly backed by the U.S. gold reserves.

Speaking at a press conference outside the Federal Reserve, Musk detailed his partnership with the U.S. Treasury Department, which has authorized the allocation of a portion of the nation’s gold reserves to serve as collateral for the digital assets. Each GoldBack NFT represents a fractional stake in a physical gold reserve held in Fort Knox and other secured locations."

Just weeks after announcing his departure from The Adam Friedland Show, what some fans of comedian called “the lifeboat,” Nick Mullen released a one minute long trailer announcing a new short series podcast which will be cohosted by none other than Chapo Trap House host Matt Christman. The podcast titled Nuttin’ Crazy is alleged to consist of seven one hour and a half episodes delving into the history of China’s beloved founder of the PRC Mao Ze Dong.

Fans of the “dirt bag left” comedian were left confused and wondering if it was a joke but Matt Christman himself had verified the latest episode of CTH that it was in fact real and that they had already recorded the show which they say is a “mini series podcast.” With Matt also claiming that the stand up comedian is in fact and always has been “a Maoist.”

Dan Bongos sits down with Dana Bash of CNN to try and get to the bottom of the cryptic tweet by the rapper now known as Ye.

"I'm gonna kick this guy's ass" Musk told Jim Acosta. "This fucking guy had the gall to say Rei is the best waifu in Evangelion when we all know Asuka is." He went on, "I'm using the FBI right now to geolocate him and I'm going to show up at his house with my fucking heavy gloves on, we'll see who's alpha then."

The President remarked "it's incredible, like no one has ever seen, folks, it's beautiful. I got the cloth I got the spear, and wouldn't you know it, I'm invincible! I even tested it out, I had one of my beautiful generals shoot at me with his gun, pew pew like you wouldn't believe and the bullets, they went right through me! My eyes started bleeding and I had holes in my hands, we have some very smart people looking into that, very talented people, but they're telling me no other president has been like this, ever, ever before. Biden was too weak to do it, but I'm doing it!"

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/feb/03/elon-musk-says-usa-is-beyond-repair-and-he-is-working-to-shut-it-down

https://fortune.com/2025/02/02/musk-doge-treasury-payments-system-halt-us-govenment

The president remarked to Fox & Friends, "a lot of people are saying it, the b-word, boomer, oops can I say that? I hate that word. People call me the b-word and I'm like 'no way nuh uh' VERY disrespectful. Other people call me a nazi? Am I? Maybe. Maybe not. But I know some very fine nazis, good people, very good people, they love me and dearly too so I'm looking out for them."