fakenews

Rapper and media mogul Anita Max Wynn, better known as Drake, has been in the headlines recently after his floppy, semi-erect penis made its way around the internet. The heated debate isn't limited to privacy concerns though; the rapper has also been criticized for using a penis measuring technique known as "bone pressing" to make his penis look larger than it is. Even proponents of the system have had qualms with the discourse around how large his penis allegedly is:

"He's basically measuring from the base of his asshole. There's no way he's pushing his dick, balls and taint into someone. I counted a solid 5, maybe 5.5 in applicable length there. ... Just to be clear, I'm not upset about the size, I'm upset about the deception."

Bone pressing is a technique in which a ruler is pushed into the pubic fat into the furthest front part of the sacrum, getting what researchers in the field think is the most accurate reading of penile length. Those same researchers think Drake's video used a bone pressing technique to make his member look larger than it may be in reality. Dr. Richard Mezure, of Cleveland, Ohio, explains thoroughly in a recently released 4-hour video essay:

"If you've seen the video, you know he's basically touching his ass with his hand and that blanket is covering up the rest of the assembly. I don't know why the video was shot that way but I will say this: going further than the front of the sacrum isn't allowed, and is frankly dishonest. The bone pressing guidelines are there to protect us from inaccuracy as well as dishonesty. I don't want to make any claims about Drake's intent but there are only a few reasons to be basically grabbing your balls when you're supposedly jacking your dick."

Hopefully with time, we'll figure out exactly how long the star's penis is as well as whether or not it was a silicone dummy dick. We will keep you posted with further updates.

BEIJING, Feb 14 (Hexbear) - Chinese Officials have officially issued a publicly apology to the people of China for the brutal massacre of 0 people that took place on that deadly day in Tienanmen Square.

At press time a Chinese Official was heard saying "We just did it for fun, but we got a little carried away with it."

Thank you for your understanding.

The film stars announced the birth of their child, delivered at Our Mother of Mercy Hospital, LA, early on February 14.

Speaking to Hollywood Reporter, Cage said,

"We're ecstatic, yes, that's the word. It's a Valentine's Day gift for both of us and we're so proud - proud and honored - to bring this light into the world"

Cage recently wrapped up shooting in Australia for the Stan exclusive psychological thriller The Surfer and returned to LA to support his wife through childbirth. Shibata was unavailable for comment.

Hollywood Reporter understand that the child's name is a variation of the word 'oriole' - a small bird with striking orange and black plumage, most commonly recognized as the mascot for the Baltimore Orioles.

HAVANA (AP) — After being declared medically deceased for 4 months, former US Secretary of State Henry Kissinger has made a miraculous reappearance. The statesman was secretly flown to Cuba via private plane while on life support in late November to undergo an innovative heart-repairing surgical procedure.

"I feel like I could go on another 50 years" said the centenarian, crediting "the best damn doctors in the world" for his unprecedented recovery while criticizing the "authoritarian government that forces these talented medical professionals to live in such deplorable conditions."

According to the 0.19.4 developer notes on GitHub:

• default user profile photos will be replaced with an algorithmically generated 'Snoo', known as 'Lemmoo'
• existing users who have not uploaded a custom profile photo will also be assigned a Lemmoo
• Later patches propose to allow users to customise their Lemmoo, including the avatar's colour, headware and other facial features

The change is intended to create stronger brand recognition, inter-instance identity and community.

NEVADA, Feb 11 (Hexbear) - Popular musical artists Usher was seen choking to death on a meatball during a rehearsal for his upcoming Super Bowl LVIII Half Time Show performance. Witnesses to the event report hearing him shout "Mama Mia! I'ma choking to death on a Meat Ball!" as shocked onlookers stared on, assuming it was a part of his performance.

Usher was quickly taken to Saint Glory Mercy's General Hospital but was declared dead on arrival.

The Utah Legislature Friday joined the growing list of lawmakers across the nation acting to ban Therapy and mental health programs.

Lawmakers passed a bill that would prohibit institutions of higher education, the public education system, and government employers from “taking certain actions and engaging in mental health practices,” including therapy programs. A person cheers as New College of Florida students and supporters protest ahead of a meeting by the college's board of trustees, Tuesday, Feb. 6, 2024, in Sarasota, Fla. The conservative-dominated board of trustees of Florida's public honors college was meeting Tuesday to take up a measure making wholesale changes in the school's mental health and therapy programs and offices.(AP Photo/Rebecca Blackwell)

It would ban “requiring an individual, before, during, or after admission or employment, to provide certain submissions or attend certain training that promotes mental health treatment.”

Republican Gov. Spencer Cox is expected to sign the bill into law.

“I can assure you, after this legislative session, it will not be happening here in the state of Utah, these mental health statements that you have to sign to get hired,” Cox said during his monthly news conference in December

“It’s bordering on evil, that we’re forcing people into having better mental health framework, by the state,” Cox said.

Proponents say mental health and therapy programs say they combat societal issues like depression and suicide by actually listening to children.

what's up, jerks?

i'm gonna drop the facade for a second if you don't mind. personally i've been a little bit unmotivated to keep posting regularly so i'm gonna open it up to everyone. it's hard for us to keep things regular and honestly there's no point to making it a locked comm with no posts. with that in mind, i'm gonna be opening up the comm to everyone from now on.

there are really only three rules:

• post fake news
• don't post real news
• you have to write it yourself

have fun!

"Even the robot fucks," @[email protected] is reported saying, "Volcel police have been deployed and are on high alert."

Polarizing figure Henry Kissinger was found alive four months after being pronounced dead on November 29, 2023. Groundskeepers heard "frantic scratching" sounds coming from his grave and an emergency team was called in to recover the coffin. Doctors concluded that he had been in a sustained near-death coma the entire time.

Kissinger seems to be in good spirits and plans to get back to work in the political sector immediately. "The world needs a strong America right now, and I plan to help her become that America," Kissinger said when questioned on the decision, and disclosed that he planned to meet with both Israeli and Ukrainian leaders shortly.

Source: https://www.tmz.com/people/al-pacino/

Legendary actor Al Fredo Pacino revealed in an interview with Esquire that the actor has been diagnosed with penile cancer and that someday it will “potentially” have to be removed. People took to social media to address their confusion as the actor had posted images of his two year old son on instagram captioned “Happy Birthday, my life” the post which has since been removed brought further attention to the star with many claiming he is fabricating a story. The mother of the child and former partner Noor Alfallah addressed the situation with an instagram post where she claims Pacino is lying. “He just doesn’t want to take responsibility of our child… he is making up lies so people take his side of his story, he’s an actor a legend of his craft. He is trying to abandon all responsibility for our child with bizarre abstract lies.”

Pacino responded by going live on instagram, in the 15 minute long live stream, the actor was combing his hair in the mirror as his phone lingered on the countertop, every so often the actor would come into view until eight minutes in the actor picked up the phone and said “child? What child? I can’t have kids anymore I don’t work like that anymore I just don’t.” The actor then proceeded to call a man he claimed was his doctor who “confirmed” Pacino had his prostate removed in 2018 and a biopsy had confirmed cancer cells accumulating on the actors’ penis.

Sadness has once again swept the nation as Buckingham Palace confirmed that the King has indeed passed away peacefully in his sleep at 04:00 this morning. Reports say King Charles III took a recent turn for the worst when a previously undiagnosed cancerous tumor experienced sudden accelerated growth.

Despite only being King for a short time, King Charles has touched the entire world with his dedication to charity, his passion for gardening, and his uniquely British sensible demeanor.

"We understand that many of you are shocked by this sudden, traumatic loss." Rishi Sunak said in a tearful address to the nation today, "I share in your loss. King Charles was not only our nation's King, he was also a personal friend of mine."

Sunak also announced that a week of mourning would be held from this February 8th through to February 15th. During this time businesses, services and cities will remain closed and British citizens are urged to take the time to reflect in silence and work through their grief.

Source: https://www.scmp.com/?linker=19q5o87clientIdYW1wLXA4clZKUHdYZjRPUzhCcmtpeVNVY2c.&_gl=198w0jf*_gaYW1wLXc1VDBZNk1hSUxJdUZaZDNZVnZHV3c._ga_VD9LCVW2ZV*MTcwNzA5Mzg5My4xLjEuMTcwNzA5Mzg5NC4wLjAuMA..

Getting down to brass tax:

The mods have been discussing this for about a month and to say it has been difficult is an understatement, I digress.

We are leaving the vote up to the community now and you have two options:

Option one: Vote to shut down the fake news community (comment 👍)

Option two: Vote to keep fake news but have Melina stand down so they can no longer post (comment ✌️)

Option three: Keep things as is (comment😈)

We will compile all votes by the end of the week, depending on how close the margins are we will close the poll earlier if need be.

Thanks for being part of this community.