fakenews

not responded to our requests for comment. More as the situation develops."

Online video platform Rumble has confirmed its acquisition of the beleaguered IP from HBO.

In a surprise move the Biden Campaign has announced that they will be abandoning Vice President Kamala Harris and replacing her with President Biden's legally embattled son, Hunter. During a noontime press release on Sunday Biden campaign manager Julie Chávez Rodriguez explained:

"Recent polling numbers suggested that we needed a course correction in order to win in the upcoming November election. Polls have found that Vice President Harris has been underperforming amongst potential voters and, quite frankly, she's cringe. We believe that Hunter will be key in courting the rich failson bloc that will be vital for success in the presidential race. Additionally, he is our only viable connection for a steady coke supply and we’re all jonesing for a hit right now. We are not taking questions at this time."

Kamala Harris was pressed for comment as she was leaving an ALDI supermarket in Fort Wayne Indiana. In response she laughed while she pointed to a shopping bag she was carrying and said "Jalapeños! For ninety nine cents! Can you believe it?" before ducking into a waiting limousine.

Hunter Biden remarked “Holy s--- I thought he was joking”

To memorialize the lives lost in the historic first explosion of nuclear weapons on a population, the Japanese government plans to detonate nuclear weapons in Hiroshima and Nagasaki, where The United States of America did in order to peacefully end World War 2.

"We must never forget the tragedy that occurred when those historic first nuclear weapons were detonated." Japanese PM Fushida said at a press conference. "Modern generations have forgotten the tragedy, which is why we must remind them."

In order to stay historically accurate, the explosives have been donated to Japan by fellow NATO member America. "We hope this sign of cooperation will reaffirm our commitment as a global leader in peace." said American President Joel Biden in a press release.

Clinton opened her announcement with a reference to a statement she made on her campaign in 2016, itself a reference to popular mobile game at the time "Pokemon GO". "He's Pokemon GOing to jail, there's no avoiding it. Now is a better time than ever for me to tell all of you to Pokemon GO TO THE POLLS and vote for me. It's a woman's turn in the white house; it's my turn". We await more details on the situation and will alert readers when more information breaks.

Eyewitnesses say Pastrami was on the dock at 7:30 pm on the night of the mysterious death of juror number 7 in the case.

Nancy Pelosi was found dead earlier today with her face in a Dominoes Deep Dish Pizza from what Psychic Experts have described as a "Brain Drain" attack by hostile ESPer terrorists.

Top Anti-ESPer Terrorist forces have been deployed to investigate the attack and bring the terrorist cell to justice.

"These ESPer Terrorists - We're not sure if they're Brain Shock or American Psychics for Liberation - are extremely dangerous. If you see anyone performing suspicious telepathy please call our hotline at 866-774-9898." said Captain Ronald Harold, leader of the Anti-ESPer Terrorist forces.

ESPer related crimes have increased 20% since 2022, but this is the first major Psychic Event involving a Political Leader.

A recent study by Yale University shows that American Roads are made safer thanks to Drunk Driving.

• 95% of drunk drivers feel more alert and focused while driving under the influence
• 80% of drunk drivers have better reaction times and decision-making skills while driving intoxicated
• Drunk drivers are 60% less likely to fall asleep at the wheel compared to sober drivers
• Drunk drivers are 75% more likely to follow traffic laws and signals while under the influence

Based on the results of the study, The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) has requested drivers enjoy a drink or two before taking to the road.

genuinely so proud of her