AskTransgender

Want to know some of the weird and wrong things you believed back then. I used to believe a lot of dumb things, some of them were dumb in a funny way, others in a hurtful right wing way, but many of those things were wrong and pretty dumb looking back.

I really want to use all 3 threadverse platforms as they all have their own strengths!

We created a new community for all Trans and Queer people to ask and answer more personal and intimate questions! Hope this helps!

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I'm curious about people's experience on silicone breast forms. I've been using them for a long time now, and they work well for me, but I find that they are all a tad bit too firm for my liking, they lack a bit of that natural jiggle. What has your experience been, and can you recommend any brands that might have a bit more of a natural feel to them?

My insurance sucks. I've just been denied coverage for:

• Therapy (I appealed that)
• Dental work (out of network even though they "take my insurance")
• Planned Parenthood gender affirming care meeting

Furthermore, my doctor's appointment with Doctor's on Demand was cancelled with no explanation (I was going to go with a primary care physician to ask some questions about HRT).

United Healthcare sucks and I need help. I've heard of DIY HRT but it sounds sketchy to me. I'm willing to get there, but I'd like to exhaust all possibilities before I go down that path. I picked Planned Parenthood because they seem like a safe space. My current primary care physician is sort of conservative coded. He made some comments at our last appointment that made me feel like HRT would be hard to acquire under his care or - in the very least - awkward.

I've looked at Plume and FolxHealth, which say they take my insurance, but I'm dubious. I feel like it'll be a bait and switch. They'll take my insurance, but I won't actually be covered and I'll end up paying an arm and a leg for boobs.

Anyone else have United Healthcare and have navigated HRT. I pay a decent amount for medical coverage under a PPO (PPOs tend to have larger networks). I would have thought HRT was easy to acquire since it's - essentially - a cheap medicine. But I'm running into road blocks early on that are making it difficult to figure out what to do. Should I just go through a primary care physician? Just make another appointment with Doctors on Demand? Can I just jump to FolxHealth or Plume? Is requesting Gender Affirming Care via Planned Parenthood the wrong way to go about this?

I hate insurance.

I swear on my life I'm not trolling. And I don't know if that word is offensive. Last I checked it was the actual medical term, but I think I've seen people take offense, so I'm sorry if that's the case.

When I was young, maybe 12-14ish, I always felt I was kind of incomplete. For a while I sincerely wished I had been born with both sex characteristics. After a while I figured it was just a phase of adolescence and went on to live a happy cis life.

Since then I got my gene sequenced for one of those ancestry things, and they didn't tell me I had Klinefelter's or anything. But I always kind of wished deep down I had a penis, testes, vagina, womb, breasts, and a beard. Maybe I might just be some kind of transhumanist, cyber prosthetics seem cool.

But I can't shake that feeling, like loss, like I'm supposed to be both. Is this a real thing? Is it valid or just natural human curiosity?

I'm fine being cis, I don't think my spouse would find me as attractive if I were to get affirming surgery, if that was even an option. And life would be way more difficult for me being so conspicuous, especially since I live in the US right now. I'd stick out anywhere though. I could go my whole life without pulling on this string, but I feel compelled to.

Again, I swear I'm not trolling. I really feel this way.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/26381236

We have searched the internet and looked in a lot of places in it, however, we cannot find any non marketing or general information about them and since we would like to get bottom surgery, it would be very useful info to have.

So we were wondering what they are like, from hopefully people who have actually had the surgery or know somebody who has.

What are the various surgeries results, either penile inversion, ppt, or suporn etc?

Now obviously clitorises of them do not function exactly the same as endogynous ones since they do not extend all the way inside, but is there a hood that they expand out of, and what is the feeling like just in general and when touched?

Do any methods apart from ppt and the other one where they put anal tissue in have lube occur naturally? If so how does this occur?

Does the inside of any of the methods feel like endogynous vaginas over time or does it feel like flat skin or whatever no matter how much time there has been?

Does anybody have any pictures of what they look like? Not asking for anything personal or porny, just, we have never found any pictures online except for surgery pictures and thus are not sure what the various methods might look like after (without all the blood and stitches etc) and since we plan to get bottom surgery in the future knowing the various results visually would help a lot to help us decide which to go for and probably ease our anxiety.

Thanks so much for reading and hopefully answering these questions.

I don't have a lot of time to play game these days. I usually play games like Cities Skylines where it's easy to pause and exit. I basically have 1-4 hours to game a week - depending on the week. But ever since coming out trans, I've wondered if there was a game that casually was affirming. I realize I could play an RPG where you can design your character, but most of those games have you spend 2 hours designing and then you never really look at the character again. Baldur's Gate was a lot of fun, but it's a little too deep to play casually on the side. I strongly prefer a non-NSFW game. I realize a lot of NSFW games exist on Steam that do explore trans concepts (I assume), but I'm looking for a more positive, gentle, affirmation.

But I don't want to knock down too many ideas! What do you play?

Edit: I realize I made it sound like I've excluded all RPGs which I don't want to be the case since - inherently - anything affirming will have some RPG element to it. I just don't think first-person RPGs really work since I spend most of my time looking at my hands and I don't get to see my character.

I am asking this question based on a Reddit post that I saw. Why do black people (and non united-statesians) have less presence in the community? It feels super rare to see a person of colour getting mentioned, as I mostly see people of no colour. Is this some lack of vision that I have? Or is it really this way?

I believe there has to be a better way to refer to our community than an initialism list approach, which is structurally exclusive: that's why we've seen various groups rightfully seek increased recognition and try to change the most popular term - LGBT, LGBTQ, LGBTQIA+ and literally dozens of other variants. That indicates that an initialism is an exclusive, rather than inclusive, route which will always fail to represent everyone as our understanding of sex, sexuality and gender change over time, and it possibly encourages accidental erasure.

Are there any recognized alternatives which capture the full breadth of this community?

• Explicit terms are particularly tough because the community isn't simply defined by a single concept like sexuality (gay, lesbian, bi, asexual, etc.) gender (trans, non-binary, etc.) or sex (intersex, etc.). Some academic institutions have used terms like "sexual and gender minorities" (GSM), which I think is a huge improvement, although even then we see that term evolve as more factors come to light ("gender, sexual and romantic minorities", GSRM). Are there any criticisms of those terms we should be aware of?

• I've heard using "queer" as an umbrella term remains controversial for its historical use as a slur, so using it in wider contexts might be inappropriate?

• I've heard "rainbow community" once or twice, which seems is clear enough that it doesn't need an introduction, with the great symbolism of a rainbow covering all the colors. But I wonder if rainbow symbolism is considered inclusive, or considered specific to certain subgroups. Especially how the "progress flag" contrasts against the rainbow flag.

• Any others you like?

.....

I ask this question out of ignorance: while I am part of my local community, we generally aren't very familiar with the broader community in other countries and their diverse perspectives yet. So I hope I haven't accidentally said anything careless!

Also sorry if this is comm is specifically for trans questions. Let me know if I should ask this somewhere else instead, I just didn't want to put it on a general instance and have too many over-confident outsiders and trolls answering.

I'm a Software Engineer and I want to feel closer to the trans community. I live in a rural, remote, area and I don't have much of a chance of meeting fellow trans folks. I was wondering if there are publicly "trans" software. E.g., web applications that might help trans individuals, software that's just branded LGBTQ+, trans developers that need help in their repositories, etc. I don't have a ton of free time, but after my child goes to sleep (around 7pm-8pm) I find myself a bit idle. It might be nice to work on something passively a little here and there that supports the trans community in a small way.

Hi all,

I'm going on a backpacking trip in a month, and the only tucking underwear I've ever heard of is LeoLines and TomboyX, but I might as well ask if there's anything else. Bonus points if it uses a material like merino wool.

I use both brands for normal daily use, but Leolines is made from cotton and TomboyX is polyester, both of which are quite bad for temperature and odor control.

Tucking the old-school way sounds super confusing, so I'd rather not resort to that.

Has anyone here heard of it before, if so what are your opinions on it? I'm curious to hear what you have to say because I've mentioned it in the past and have received hostility from people either saying I'm crazy or that I'm "making fun of trans people".

I think some people deny that I really have it but I'm certain that is what I have since I literally have phantom limb sensations from a tail that I just don't have, including phantom pain which really sucks actually.

I just wanted to talk about this a bit. I'm not sure if this is the right community but the otherkin communities are very empty.

First, forgive me for a mostly political post, and if political discussions aren't welcome I have to problems deleting this.

I live in a highly conservative, sports loving area and I'm tired of listening to all the obviously insincere hand wringing and lies about safety and trans athletes in women's sports. Sometimes, changing the subject or leaving isn't an option, sadly. I was hoping you all could give me a little advice on how to respond as I'm tired of being silent.

Instinctively, I want to try and derail these arguments by suggesting that collegate and youth sports implement something like the "red stripe" rule from youth football. In pee wee football, if a player is growing faster than their peers then their helmet is marked with a red stripe and they're no longer allowed to carry the ball or play certain positions. This is both for handicap and safety reasons.

And just to be clear, I think the safety/unfair advantage argument is bullshit.

However, suggesting a red stripe rule could be a way to answer that argument without conceding their point and move a debate on to other topics. If a bigot still wants to press the sports issue, they're have to find other reasons to do so, and likely have to reveal their prejudice more openly.

But, I'm hesitant to use this argument, because at its core, such a rule still singles out trans athletes. So while it seems like a great debate tactic, I can still see how it could come across as offensive and transphobic, despite my intentions.

I don't like the idea of simply dismissing the issue as only affecting a tiny percentage of the population because that, to me, shouldn't matter.

So, what approach would be best? How would you all respond in this situation? How can I speak out on your behalf without speaking over you or for you?

What word would be the equivalent for sir or ma’am for a person not in the gender norm. I like greeting strangers with it while working retail & have always wondered what would be the right why to respond to someone who did not want to be called either sir or ma’am.

Do you think it's purely hateful or do you think it has some merit in certain contexts?

Personally I think it is a transphobic and dehumanizing term that objectifies and sexualizes trans women based on our anatomy, that should never be used in any context, but I'd love to hear what other people think.

If not then lets make one that starts with the same l!

I'm curious, how much of a danger is it in terms of health for someone to have lower than normal or no hormones at all.

I was wondering that because I was looking things up and I recently came across a thread on r/Asktransgender where the OP said if they didn't have hormones they would physically die in a year and several other people said similar things. Is this true? I'm not an expert in medicine but it seems like misinformation to me. I know Osteoporosis is a long term risk.

I also know that personally that I have not taken Testosterone (or Estrogen) in 15 years, and I'm mostly fine. These people said it was fatal to not take it for a year or two.

What are your thoughts on what they said? Does this sound plausible or does it sound like misinformation or exaggeration?

How was the move? What things did you need to adjust to? Are the people more accepting in your new home? Is there anything you miss?

I saw a thread on this topic on Reddit and I wanted to have the same interesting conversation here.

My doc just added it to me regumine, and I think a little after that I began smelling what I thought was a neighbor smoking. But its been mostly consisent no matter where I am ... Does anyone else experience something similar?

What I mean by that is that I see many posts by transfems about how they feel "eepy" and it feels to a point where they would hibernate if they could. Why so many memes about feeling sleepy are posted?

(Not using my typing quirk causes me dysphoria. I will provide a translation upon request only.) ~ The reason why I joined this instance was 8ecause I've 8een kicked off of Tum8lr for having the opinion that transness doesn't just apply to gender. I don't just pull this out of my ass - I actually experience nongender transness myself and I'm fully willing to 8e asked and/or grilled a8out it. I call myself transcharacter.

My Tum8lr termin8ion came entirely from claims of transpho8ia, 8ecause somehow in their minds identifying a8normally equals not supporting trans folkel/people? I don't quite understand how that works, 8ut I can say I'm not transpho8ic. I discovered that I feel this way through hearing other trans folkel/people discuss their experiences and came to my own conclusions a8out myself.

I guess I'm wondering if this is a safe space for my ilk or if I'm just going to get kicked out again?

I used to think I'm a guy, I like many masculine things like motor sports, fixing cars, playing shooters. Things that typically boys like and I have no desire to wear girly clothes or anything like that. But I've always when I was younger liked hanging out with girls more than I liked hanging out with other dudes. Maybe that's not weird but I liked their company more, like how other boys would hang out with the guys, I liked doing that but with girls.

Recently I met someone new, she's a lot like me in her interests and even her style, and I learned she's transfem and that has made me question whether I might be trans myself. I asked her to call me by she/her pronouns for a bit to see how it feels, and I got a rush of happiness when she referred to me with she/her pronouns. So now I'm not sure if I am a guy or not anymore. I don't have any discomfort towards my penis and I do think I'd miss it if it were gone, but lately I have been getting discomfort related to my chest, it feels flat and empty, and wrong. Like it should be bigger than it is. It doesn't seem normal for a guy to feel like that.

I really need help, is it normal for a guy to feel like this or does this mean I might be trans?

For those who don't know, it's a browser extension that marks a link to a group or person determined by how they act towards trans people.

I personally like this concept, but after reading the reviews on its Firefox add-ons page, it let me a bit worried. I found a Reddit post with one person commenting that someone marked their friends' blog as unwelcoming due to personal beef. On that same post, people were writing about how they used it just as a "suggestion".

So, returning to the question in the title, do you personally find this extension reliable/usable? Does it could have anything that should be worked better?