Dad Jokes

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255 users here now

Description

This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

Rules

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
[email protected]
listing: all - local
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67
Post text, images, or direct links only (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
5 comments fedilink
 
 

Please see the updated sidebar. Do not post external links to websites such as Facebook and Instagram.

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Please post edgier jokes to the new Uncle Jokes community (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
12 comments fedilink
 
 

I just updated the sidebar. As a rule of thumb, if you cannot tell this joke to a 5-year-old, you should probably post it to the new community [email protected]

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Did you hear the one about the guy with the broken hearing aid? (lemmy.ca)
submitted 20 hours ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
5 comments fedilink
 
 

Neither did he.

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What do you call pilfered confections? (kbin.earth)
submitted 19 hours ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
 
 

Hot chocolate

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Did you hear about the girl born in the post office? (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 day ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
6 comments fedilink
 
 

They say she was assigned mail at birth.

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James Bond (Twonks) (cdn.imgchest.com)
submitted 1 day ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
5 comments fedilink
 
 

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.eco.br/post/15931097

artist's bluesky source

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Doctor: Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news? Patient: Good news please. Doctor: we're naming a disease after you. (lemmy.ca)
submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
8 comments fedilink
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What do you call security guards at Samsung's mobile division? (aussie.zone)
submitted 3 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
3 comments fedilink
 
 

Guardians of the Galaxy.

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I told the nurse I was bitten by a wolf (midwest.social)
submitted 3 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
11 comments fedilink
 
 

Nurse: "Where?"
Me: "No, regular."

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What's Whitney Houston's favourite type of coordination? (feddit.uk)
submitted 4 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
 
 

♫ HAND EYEEEEE! ♫

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A delicacy (media.piefed.world)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
8 comments fedilink
 
 
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Boneless Battle 🦴 (lemmy.zip)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
5 comments fedilink
 
 

Why don’t skeletons fight each other? … They don’t have the guts

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I bought a thesaurus the other day but when I went to use it all the pages were blank... (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
2 comments fedilink
 
 

I have no words to describe how angry I was...

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What's the difference between Iron Man and Aluminum Man? (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
14 comments fedilink
 
 

Iron Man stops the bad guys, Aluminum Man foils them.....

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There are signs (piefedimages.s3.eu-central-003.backblazeb2.com)
submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
2 comments fedilink
 
 
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Previously On... (woodendice.org)
submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
5 comments fedilink
 
 

Pretty proud of this one.

Alt text: A masculine voice announces "Previously on" and then replaces the cap on a baby's bottle before saying "Sorry, just doing the recap."

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Dad goals (i.imgur.com)
submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
 
 

cross-posted from: https://sh.itjust.works/post/43341810

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What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? (feddit.online)
submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
8 comments fedilink
 
 

Tap for spoilerI don't know and I don't care.

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Why don't penguins worry about polar bears? (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
5 comments fedilink
 
 

They're polar opposites.

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Garak Todd: The Demon Barbour of Promenade Parkway (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
2 comments fedilink
 
 

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/33757730

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Rene Decartes walked into a cafe and ordered a glass of wine. (lemmy.ca)
submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
 
 

The waiter asked, "Do you want something to eat with that?" He replied, "I think not." The poor guy disappeared.

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I Was Offered A Job At The Fishmonger's... (lemmy.ca)
submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
9 comments fedilink
 
 

...But I'm afraid I can't fillet.

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Odds Are Slim That I'll Ever Visit A Casino... (lemmy.ca)
submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
11 comments fedilink
 
 

...but I won't roulette out entirely.

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What do you often find Punny? (sa.torishiro.com)
submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
 
 

cross-posted from: https://torishiro.com/notes/aas0771oukb100sr

What do you often find Punny?

@[email protected] #maths #jokes

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Chuckle (piefed.cdn.blahaj.zone)
submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
 
 

cross-posted from: https://piefed.blahaj.zone/post/192811

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