Dunno if this will help you feel any better or not, my field is finance so I learned VBA out of spite. There's notes in my subroutines, notes written down, websites bookmarked, all that. Sometimes I still have to google excel formulas just to make sure I'm doing them right.
I started looking at c# and python, and the only reason it even makes sense to me is because of vba. I feel like having a reason to use it and data to practice on helped a lot. And fuck, I googled for hours, upon hours, just to finally get something that I later found a much easier way for. Self learning is admirable af.
Oh, check archive.org for books on python. I find the for dummies series to be particularly helpful. I hate YouTube tutorials so I usually go for something published.