this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2025
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Big day today.
Ol' girl is going back home after her 3.5 week stay in hospital. Was only supposed to be 3-5 days.
After seeing her everyday, all I can say is that she really shouldn't be (not in my control). Seeing her last night shook me a bit. Basically she's been refusing 1/2+ the food when there and also refusing supplements (like ensure, resource etc).
Problem is after her head strike a year ago she had a TBI which has caused what they call non amnestic MCI which is a fancy way of saying impaired mind but memory still there. Problem is the only way to slow it down is food and excersise, both of which are not going to be easy.
So taking off work for a bit heading over to p's to see if this will work. I'm not fazed by doing most of the stuff for them (cooking / cleaning / washing etc), really doesn't take much time. Ol' boy will get a cleaner in probably soon.
What I'm mainly worried about is that shift in personality over the last 3 weeks.
For example last night she asked me to turn the light down because she wanted to watch TV. So I did. She said 'that's great', goes around to the other side of the bed and snaps at me 'why is it so dark in here!'. That is not her.
I'm hoping getting some food in her after basically being on a hunger strike will ease that sort of thing up, but if it doesn't then we're in for a ride.
Guess we'll find out.
Thank you all reading this stuff. Not exactly light and airy.
You are such a good egg. Healing takes time and a whole lot of resources, so having you there is going to give her the best chance of an effective recovery.
Ensure and the like have an artificial taste that a lot of people can't tolerate. There used to be a flavourless supplement, I'll have a sticky beak and see if it's still around. Edit: it's called procal powder. Still around. Different company now through. There's two main things; cook what she likes/feels like, and making sure every mouthful is as calorie dense as you can make it while she still likes it. You're doing good work there, and it's so so tough. We are all here as a resource and a safe venting place.
Really good advice, thankyou. Definitely going to try to make every mouthful count.
Agreed Ensure gets old very quickly and Fortisip is even more intensely sugary. Vom. One way is to make a cup of coffee as usual and pour in a swig of Ensure as if it were a coffee creamer. It dilutes it to a more bearable level. Decaf coffee with vanilla Ensure probably tastes a little bit like a fancy Starbucks coffee.
Edit: They also do pudding/custard!
spoiler
You can heat milk in the microwave and add sugar (optional) and instant coffee for a ‘latte’ or use hot chocolate packets to get some fortified milk down. Sometimes this is easier than a meal and you can tailor it to her tastes. Hydration is probably a higher priority than food.Another option is nibbles. An open pack of biscuits next to her with a cup of tea. Perhaps even a lollipop or a cracker would be enough to stimulate her appetite and get her through any overly-hungry aversion. If she likes ginger perhaps try some ginger sweets like ginger ale, ginger bears, Gin Gins or Chimes. If it’s nausea there are dissolvable wafer tablets like Ondansetron that might help. Even some peppermint tea.
Also is she just not hungry, is she forgetting to eat, is she feeling sick, is she fatigued or having motor issues so it’s not worth the effort, is she having trouble swallowing? Is the food and drink not sitting well?
I don’t mean to bring up anything undignified but sometimes after bowel surgery there can be issues with things like post surgery gastroparesis.
Also after a prolonged period of not eating or only liquids, beginning to eat again can be quite difficult and unpleasant. A period without eating (or being able to eat) in itself can cause atrophy of the digestive system and bring on gastroparesis. Cue effortful eating.
Surely the hospital has a dietitian and a gastro that might get on top of this.
Feeding tubes might be an option but are an incredible removal of autonomy and may be a lot of risk for the results. They’re not always recommended.
Edit: Also as you get older, with cancer, or at end of life you can lose your appetite. I’m very sorry. I’m hoping your mum perks up a little and more support can be worked out smoothly.