this post was submitted on 17 Jun 2025
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This is something I know little about and want to be better informed on by anyone willing. Web searches don't pull up much and I'm hesitant to ask people in my IRL community.
So most kids don't regret it right? But it seems so iffy to let developing people make decisions like that. I had a three year phase from around 13-16 where I desperately wanted to remove my nose. Completely. (It's an ugly nose and I was an especially dumb kid). I think I would have done it/had it done if it were easier. And less painful. And maybe I'd still be chill with it if I had but man was I a strange kid. But I'm kind of glad there wasn't a good way to do it. Is this a false equivalency? And why? What age should they be allowed to begin HRT? What impacts does it have if reversed? Should kids also be allowed stuff like tattoos and alcohol? I don't like the argument that you can give kids amphetamines or make other life changing decisions for them as I'm pretty against the system that allows it and so I don't think if that's the justification I'm on board on that basis necessarily. I'm genuinely asking as I usually don't engage on this topic because it can get spicy. I'm open to opinions from anyone with one.
Others have given great responses there, but I just wanted to chime in my two cents. The major difference between your example and trans kids is that the latter make decisions in concert with family and medical professionals. Often times, not just a family doctor, but also a psychologist (to discuss feelings of gender incongruence) and endocrinologist (because hormones are extremely powerful, no matter which way you slice it) on top of the regular fare.
These medical professionals are making decisions based on the most up-to-date, widely held medical consensus -- which is to let trans kids transition with medical guidance. That doesn't apply in your hypothetical, because there is no agreed upon medical prognosis on kids going through identity issues (which is a normal part of psychology, whereas gender dysphoria very much is abnormal, divergence from the mean). That also goes for giving ADHD kids medication if that helps them -- not all psychs rush to push pills on kids, but if it makes a huge difference and helps a child, who are you as a layman to force them to continue suffering? Being on ADHD medication (or puberty blockers) can be a night and day difference for someone, whether they are kids or not.
Tangent: We in western society infantilize children a lot, I feel. In a lot of eastern/(global) southern culture, kids are a functional part of the household unit, almost little adults. Parents aren't afraid to give their kids some semblance of responsibility because it helps them grow. From that perspective, it seems almost odd that the west wants to coddle kids so much. Not accusing you of this, just something I've noticed.
Not worried about accusations haha. Yeah I'm really guilty of infantilizing children. I also haven't broken the connection in my brain between gender and sexuality so I'm thinking there's something in my head saying that kids don't know their gender until they know what they're attracted to (which you really don't know much about before puberty) which is just incorrect probably. Thanks for illuminating that for me, actually.
To be fair, that's a very hard connection to break because it is just everywhere and still gets repeated as gospel. But it does make a lot of sense when you think about it. There are many more opportunities to identify an internal feeling like one's gender identity than there are for something external like who they may be attracted to.
I myself knew that being a boy felt wrong as early as 10. I'd had some run-ins with that feeling before then because of the way my father treated me. Things like getting berated for being too emotional, and him getting rid of a baby doll that I carried around and took care of when my Mom was doing things for my baby brother that I couldn't help with. With the stated reason that he didn't want me to grow up to be some kind of queer (though the word he used was much worse). But 10 is where I first remember recognizing the feeling of my body being wrong.
Of course I didn't have the words for it at the time so I didn't know what I was experiencing was dysphoria. Nor did i know that nonbinary was even a thing you could be. I understood that trans women existed, but no matter how hard I thought about it over the next few years I didn't feel like a girl either. It took until I was 26 before I finally realized with the benefit of hindsight that I'm nonbinary. So I'd already been forced into a male puberty which hit me like a train. I'm 6'2" (~188cm) and built like a balding fridge in a fursuit. I'm almost 35 now and because of other medical issues I haven't been able to transition so it is very hard to not feel like it's too late for me even though I know it's not. Especially in the current political climate.