this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2025
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So, just gonna let you know, ... I presume Mr. ObjectivityIncarnate... you got so emotionally charged in your response that you both began and ended your raging rant here with the same quote... I didn't realize it would trigger you that hard, you being all objective and such.
I guess this way come as a shock to you, but abusive relationships can often go both ways.
Further, back in the 90s, the terms 'domestic violence' and 'spousal abuse'/'abusive relationship' ... they were not as well defined as they are now, 35 years later.
Which is again why I used the word 'abused', which, in the context of psychology terminology, is in fact broad enough to encompass that 40% stat, while the modern term 'domestic violence' is not.
Its good to try and use as objective terms as possible, yes?
Now ... you've again exposed that this is an emotional issue for you, by being the first in this conversation to name call me, ad hom me.
A bigot? Really?
Am I bigotted against police?
Are you offended by my objectively correct characterization of Brigham Young and Mormons?
... Are you a Mormon Cop, lol?
Oh my goodness, all caps, like you're trying to scream at me through the screen...
Maybe not one single time, but yeah my threshold for getting screamed at by someone is very, very close to one, after having been raised in such an abusive family environment that I now have (C)PTSD. Never got physically beat, but, as I said, there are many other ways to be abusive.
A lot of those women I helped get into DV shelters are of the same opinion.
......
... You also seem really hung up on this 'single instance' thing.
Yeah, a single instance of abuse... is abuse, a single instance of it.
Do... does abuse ... only count to you... if someone does it a certain number of times?
Like if I punch you in the face just once, that isn't battery, but if I do it, I dunno, 8 times... now it counts as abuse?
I suggest you inhale and exhale, slowly, 3 times, hold each breathe as long as you can... helps me calm doen when I'm having a PTSD flashback, also just generally works with anyone to help recenter yourself, calms you down.
He destroyed you and you're in toxic denial.
Or rather, he didn't destroy you - he just refuted and debunked your claims with well reasoned arguments and knowledge.
Thing is: anyone with some experience in sociology (and a modicum of critical faculties) will immediately doubt the notion that 40% of cops (or most any other group of people for that matter) abuse their partners. That's just not how humans work. We know because we've studied ourselves literally millions of times.
You'll get over it. But much more important than that - hopefully realize that intellectual honesty is exactly what we need in times such as ours.
Cops are more likely to score higher on PPI scores than the average person.
PPI meaning Psycopathic Personal Inventory. There are different exact variants of this test, but they're all a long series of questions asked by psychologists to assess and score how much of a psycopath someone is.
Roughly one third of all Americans have been in an abusive relationship at least once in their lives... and its often the case that people who have been in one, end up being in multiple.
Again, where 'abusive' has a broader definition than just physical assault or rape.
Which... it does, in psychology.
So uh... 40% of cops abusing their partners isn't really ludicruously, implausibly higher than that number for the total population.
Abusive relationships are unfortunately quite common and even generally normalized in much of society.
I could throw a bunch of links to papers at you, but, seeing as they are easily websearchable, I don't feel the need to.
...
Also, you have a fairly sparse comment history, and those comments are ... oddly timed, typically occuring in bursts, seperated by weeks or months.
So... either you have a very, very strange engagement pattern with lemmy, just by chance...
Or you are an alt account.
Which would be especially ironic as using an alt account to pose as another random person who suddenly drops in to what had up to this point been a one on one discussion... is a very disingenuous, manipulative thing to do... you know, like something an abusive person would do?
No amount of rationalization or intellectualization is going to change the basic facts of the matter.
I don't have an alt account on lemmy or anywhere else for that matter. I actually work for a living. And it's related to sociology, which is how I know you are talking out of your a**.
You are delusional and hardcoping. Get out more. You don't need to be "right" as much as you think you do. In fact, no amount of being "right" will ever come close to the benefits of being wrong. As long as you realize them.
Best of luck, friend.
I'm sure it does.