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Though I'm sure your wife has a list of grievances about you in reverse (nobody is perfect) it does seem that you're in a somewhat abusive situation, or at the very least a very incompatible situation.
Have you considered maybe leaving this situation?
Oh, there are definitely things, but unfortunately they are dwarfed by that I got my multiple chronic pains early on in our relationship, and her culture views people who don't work full time as being lazy. So, she pretty much has spent no time with me in these 25 years, and doesn't really know much about me. Then all the other things that go along with that, cemented her opinions.
Eh, to give an example (Not one of the really severe ones. Oh there are some bad ones), when the pains started up I attempted to make chores lists for me, her, and the kids. Nothing difficult, pick up 5 things once a day. Wash two/three/four dishes. Pull up a chair and sit with me to keep my mind off of my pains. Her reasoning was since I didn't work (both full time and not at all), and they worked or went to school, they didn't have to help. Plus, for the kitchen, since she never asked for me to make home cooked meals, they didn't have to help me clean up the kitchen.
Oh yeah. That's why I'm here now, unfortunately. I attempted to leave in 2017, but I forced myself to work full time as an electrician. Now, granted, electrical work is easy. Really really really easy work, but the three years doing furniture delivery between 2000-2002 made everything hard. Doesn't matter what it is, sitting, standing, walking, or laying down. Everything is hard. Well, when I pushed myself for full time it broke my body to the point where I have not been able to be comfortable since. Then in 21, out of desperation I took the NSAIDs a doctor prescribed me, which made things so much worse.
And with that, I have to be extremely cautious about what I do, if I can even find a job. Someone here has made an offer, and for a healthy individual, it'd be nothing. Probably the easiest job they'd ever have, but for me, it's going to be really really hard. It's going to be like the most stressful and painful day most people have had at least once a year, every...single...day...hour...minute...
There's no escape.