this post was submitted on 29 Apr 2025
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ADHD
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You'll probably feel better about all this if you shift your perspective a little. Right now you're frustrated because you're seeing a date as the first step to a relationship, and then when it doesn't go any further, you feel like you've failed and you have to start over. You are reluctant to try again because you expect another failure.
Dating is simply increasing your sample size.
Those past dates weren't failures, you successfully learned that those people weren't compatible with you.
If you try a new food and you don't like it, do you consider that a failure? You stepped out of your comfort zone, decided it wasn't for you, and now you know to avoid that dish in the future, and the next one you try might be your new favorite, or, it might not, but how else will you know?
Get out there, interact with people and increase your sample size! There are plenty of other people with similar interests as you, it might just take a while to find them.
Once you give up, only then have you failed, otherwise, you just aren't there yet. It's better to take your time and find the right person, than rush into a relationship with somebody you aren't compatible with. (Trust me, I'm on my second marriage because I desperately clung to the first person who showed interest in my 20s)
Excellent perspective ๐