this post was submitted on 02 Mar 2025
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ADHD

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Hi folks. I think my 16yo son has ADHD. He shows a lot of the classic behaviours. (Not listed for brevity)

He’s smart, performs well in class, but struggles badly with exams, detail. He is also struggling with revision. He’s been a high performing up until now but he’s hit hit the limit of his abilities.

His exams are 2 months away, we won’t get a diagnosis in time 😔

Can anyone here suggest resources or personal insights that could help me help him through this period?

Thanks!

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Have you talked to the school? They may be able to help out, particularly if he's already in the queue for a diagnosis. Maybe a note from your doctor would support this.

Help may be tuition support, guidance or even some extra time in the exam room - or doing the exam in a different area.

Anything you can do to stack the odds in your favor can help, and the worst they can day is 'no', so there's nothing really to lose.

Finally, though exams are important, they are not the end of the world. They can be retaken later if necessary so try and remember to keep things in perspective and manage the stress accordingly.

Finally finally, good luck to you and your son.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

We’ve talked about his situation, but not in a formal ‘he needs support’ kind of way. When he’s getting low As and Bs it’s really hard to talk about him not meeting his potential, I just look like a pushy parent.

I think what I’m mostly worrying about myself is that the future he wants for himself needs grades that he’s capable of intellectually, but not at the work rate he’s able to do today. I know that things usually work out, but it’s still hard in the moment to see that he might miss out on his dream goals.

[–] wizardbeard 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Please be pushy anyway. This isn't about grades. This is about ensuring your son has the resources and support available to do his best.

Even if a kid with no legs could drag themselves around well enough that they were never late, you wouldn't deny them a wheelchair.

This doesn't need to be "the wall" for your son, and getting these things sorted out now (diagnosis, whatever the school needs to give the additional support) will make it that much easier in the future. Do you want to spend the rest of your life wondering if your son's "limit" was merely that you didn't try to get him accomodations?

If he still stumbles and struggles, he can learn his limitations, which are important to know as well so he can build skills to work around them.

Giving a kid extra time on a test (the usual accomodation) isn't going to give him the answers if he doesn't know them already. It just gives him more time to think through and write.

If the tests are not trying to evaluate speed, it's not any sort of extra advantage. At least not one that the rest of the students should be prevented from having. But the other students aren't your problem. Your son is.