this post was submitted on 23 Dec 2024
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For posting all the anonymous reactionary bullshit that you can't post anywhere else.
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i hate that i feel like i got proven right, but man there's a reason why 'dolls' has always given me bad vibes and why I've hated seeing how popular the term has become in the community
why the fuck are we referring to ourselves with a term that already compromises to transphobes - no wonder people like this picked it up. It feels like an inherently reactionary term that's two steps away from just saying the slur.
apologies to anyone here who uses it, but i don't know if I'll ever be comfortable with it and I hope the slang passes out of the language soon
I am the kind of person who uses the T-slur-that-this-website-won't-let-me-say to refer to myself a lot, and hang out primarily with other trans women who are of the same mind when it comes to slur reclamation - and yeah, even I see 'dolls' as Bad Vibes.
I feel like it's part of a weird cultural trend in recent years of transfems idealizing dependence. Imo, one can see this in the puppygirl thing, too, idk, it's all always given me bad vibes.
I think that's definitely a part of it - like, I personally don't use the slur but I can at least see the angle there, and part of that is that the T-slur itself is still transgressive to say in society.
'Dolls' on the other hand feels like a way to take away any bite from existing by taking the first punch ourselves, and I see it so often go hand in hand with other transfem self-degradation that feels more like public self-shaming than actually reclaiming something. I definitely agree with the 'dependence' vibes, and I can see how it's probably a reaction to the treatment of transfems in the general media, but it feels like a step backwards - like a section of us feels the need to 'sell out'. I really dislike that it's a thing, and that it gets so much play in the culture.
Do you have any examples of this to point to? I know "pics or it didn't happen" is a loser reply and I don't do it wholly from disbelief, but because it's something I have never seen myself.
Some transfems like the archetype in misogynist media of 'a guy that solves all your problems'. Of course, this can put you in a dangerous dependent situation where the guy holds all the power given the social discrimination of transfems. A male suitor can be nice about this but its still a lopsided power dynamic and given how often guys are shit... its not something to idolize and it should be something to be healthily skeptical of. You should always strive to be independent for your own security even if its unnecessary. The highly submissive nature of transfem memes and discourse could just be airing kinks out, but there is definitely something underlying all of that, maybe a generalized fear of being seen as dominant because 'men are meant to be dominant'.