I'm seriously looking for ideas, I never got into social media, I will not sign up for them nor dating social medias, and as I age I've become disenfranchised with alcohol in general and the alcoholics I used meet in bars which was the last vestige of a local meeting place once school ended. My hobbies are all sort of loner hobbies as well like books and old bad movies, probably a consequence of being an only child in a single parent household, which tbh, I like that I can be mostly self sufficient and don't seek to find my happiness in others, but I'd like to meet someone if the option is available. But where do I meet people now? It is rather uncouth to ask people out for coffee while they're working somewhere I am a customer even if I do it super politely, but that is likely the only place I will interact with other humans all day outside of work and lemmy, unless I have to go to two stores. Afaik, the 80s are over and you can't ask other customers in the grocery store either anymore lest you come off as a creep for just saying "hey I think you look super cool and I was wondering if you weren't seeing anyone maybe you'd like to get some coffee sometime?" (To be fair, I haven't tested this theory, I just feel creepy every time I think "I should just fucking ask" and psych myself out, so, maybe? Maybe if I just lead with "hey it's hard af to meet people these days right? Well anyway I'm ArcaneSlime, what's your name, wanna get coffee?") Maybe use Alovoa since it respects privcy, but idk if that is viable just yet, and then I have to put pictures of me on an online acct? I haven't done that in 10yr because it is antithetical to the concept of privacy in and of itself! Work I can make friends at all day, even on the go it can be done though it is certainly more rare, but I can't date people from work because if it doesn't work out it might get weird for one of the two parties, I don't like that dynamic.

Sometimes I think I should just become an alcoholic again just so that I can fucking meet people. Any ideas on where to meet people other than bars or online are welcome. We need weed bars like cigar bars and hooka lounges, I can still smoke weed without feeling physically ill.

/rant lol.

Oh and to preempt cries of "incel," I'm not complaining about women, I'm complaining about the lack of meeting places that aren't "the local bar or tinder," and looking for ideas on ones I may have missed. If I didn't like women I wouldn't be looking for more ways to meet them! Lol

[–] Freetheinternet@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

I feel that. It feels all the socials "wells or waterholes" have dried up, and everything's migrated to apps. I know some young people complain about the same regarding dating: you have to be on a dating app as trying to approach people outside them seem suspect... Meanwhile the culture on this apps can be atrocious, and favour the lowest common denominator...

/rant

On the more constructive side: I play the numbers game, I guess. I socialize with everyone and participate in anything I feel remotely interesting, when moving to a new place or similar. Visiting cafes, art sites, local clubs for this and that, sport events. And yeah, I used to hit the pubs. Then I just interact - not /to make friends/ explisitely, but just as part of me being normal. In the end, after talking with everyone, everywhere I go, you probably have interacted with hundreds of people, and you can of end with a handful that you hang out with from there. It just kind of happens.

Just to be clear, I'm not trying to do this in a (very) forced or creepy way, just in a way I feel is natural and "totally normal", at least to me. E.g. at a gallery looking at a picture, if I really like the picture, and I see someone else studying it - and they don't look aloof or like they would mind - I carefully try to strike up a chat. If they signal they don't want, I disengage.

But, yeah, I find the lack of non-drinking meeting places a drag...

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