Today I Fucked Up

281 readers
1 users here now

r/TIFU means Today I Fucked Up.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
201
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Visual-Extension-373 on 2025-07-16 13:47:47+00:00.


I started a new job about three months ago. There’s this really friendly coworker, let’s call her Sarah, who always comes over to chat, smiles at me a lot, compliments my shirts. Honestly made work feel less lonely.

Last week she asked if I wanted to grab coffee after work. My dumb brain instantly thought: Oh wow… she’s into me.

So we meet up, and I decide to just… go for it. Midway through our latte I say something like, “You know, I’m really glad you asked me out. I’ve been wanting to get to know you better too.”

She freezes and just… laughs nervously.

Then she goes, “Oh! Um. I just wanted to talk because I thought you seemed lonely at work, and I know how tough it is starting here.”

I wanted to crawl into the floor.

TL;DR: Thought my nice coworker was into me when she invited me to coffee. She just felt sorry for me.

202
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/raydar2018 on 2025-07-16 13:15:17+00:00.


Happened about five minutes and I feel so bad about it!

I recently got back from about two-and-a-half weeks of holiday, and in that time I kinda forgot some of the finer details of some of the things I am used to using a specific way at work. As part of my day-to-day, I went to use the printer in my office and realised it didn't turn on when I pressed the button. I checked and it was plugged in, the power cable was properly connected, the plug was turned on - everything should be working, but isn't. I tried turning it off and on again at the plug, tried switching the outlet - nothing. Naturally, I called it into the IT department, and they sent someone out to fix it today.

It was only about 20 minutes ago, when the technician was on their way to me (they'd called shortly beforehand to make sure they knew where they were going) that I realised something. There is a sign on this printer saying not to turn it off - the sign has been there since before I started, and I have no idea why as turning it off has no negative effect. What I realised, though, was that since it usually isn't turned off properly, the button I use to turn it on is the standby button, not the power button.

I walked over to the printer, found the oft-forgotten power button, and pushed. Lo and behold, it worked. My heart sinks.

Shortly after that I got another call from the technician. They were in the car park and were asking me to confirm which building on the site it was - I clarified, and then revealed my mistake. I apologised profusely, explained what had happened, and even offered a Kinder Bueno by way of apology. They declined my offer, and laughed with me about the mistake, saying they actually lived not far away and were heading home now anyway.

Could've been worse, I suppose, but still. Read so many stories of IT people facing dumb users like this and promised myself I'd never be That Guy. Alas, fate had other plans!

TL;DR: wasted a printer technician's time by reporting a "broken" printer after forgetting the power button exists, like a fool!

203
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Throw_CD1 on 2025-07-15 23:39:08+00:00.


So hear me out, I'm pretty broke, ever since COVID it's been me and my Remington Colour Cut clippers against the world. Walking into my salon is a dubious choice, but it's not every day you get a free back-and-sides from some random mildly ugly hairy guy's kitchen.

Tonight I learned there's no such thing as a free lunch. Due to inherent lack of skill, let me tell you, tonight's trim was true wet dog ass water. Diabolical from all angles. Feathering didn't work... too short in some areas and long in others... I just wasn't on my game at all. Been going through some shit emotionally. Man, I felt horrible. So horrible I'm using a throwaway. I saw divorce looming with my shitty trim cited on the paperwork.

However, I always leave the fringe / bangs alone for my wife to sort. Into the bathroom they go, and... accidentally fuck it up. Not happy. This is, naturally, upsetting. My wife is sad, henceforth I am sad. I provide comfort, but secretly I am a bit relieved as the blunder has covered for my suckass fuckass cut.

It's not you, my wife reassures, it's me. Like Judas packing that holy heat, I feel like I have dodged a divine bullet.

I won't learn from this. The only karma is I will no doubt be fucking my own shit up in like a months' time.

TL;DR Don't risk destroying your marriage, take your lady love to a real barber and not a fat Brit with clippers and hope.

I don't have pics, get your own wives.

204
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Mo_Chroi- on 2025-07-15 20:58:46+00:00.


TIFU!!! Not ten minutes ago I was putting the young one to bed and was absentmindedly looking out the window.

"Look, a baby bunny" I said.

We have seen these bunnies around the place for the last few years, very cute, we like having them around.

Now we're both watching the baby bunny hop around and the child goes.

"Oh look, there's that cat, I haven't seen it in ages"

Now, I noticed the cat was fixed on the bunny so I knocked on the window to startle the bunny. It didn't work so I opened the window, gave a bit of a shout all while the child is standing next to me watching. That didn't work fast enough, we both got to watch the cat pounce, catch the bunny and run off with it in their mouth. Now my poor child is traumatised and I'm depressed.

TLDR: I accidentally got my child to watch a baby bunny be killed by a cat and now we're both traumatised.

205
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/yeahokaaay on 2025-07-15 20:44:15+00:00.


TIFU during a Teams meeting when I was presenting a powerpoint and by the end of the meeting forgot I was still screen sharing because people were blabbing on for 10 minutes and I started looking at my phone. The meeting started to wrap up and a program manager asked if I was on a particular call tomorrow. I opened my outlook to check the calendar then out of habit switched to my inbox.

My inbox was open to a chain between me and a hiring manager discussing a role I applied for. You could see further below on my inbox list an email from “[company] recruiting” that said “Thank you for your application”. The embarrassing part is just that I didn’t even realize I had it on screen until I was ending the call. The call was recorded, so I watched the recording and it was up for 40 seconds which felt like an eternity. My program director is supposed to watch the recording - and my skins crawling at the thought of him reading the emails and knowing I want to leave.

TL;DR: I forgot I was screen sharing during a recorded meeting and showed everyone my emails about me seeking a different job.

206
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/copperfrog42 on 2025-07-15 03:49:33+00:00.


So I wear glasses, I really don't see well without them. We have a wooded area where we walk the dog, it's usually a nice walk, we get out, get some fresh air and exercise. But today, I wasn't paying attention while walking along in the trees with the canine, and I ran right into a spiderweb. Not just the little strands that usually cross the path, but a full on spiderweb, the kind that might have a spider hanging out on it. I screamed, slung my face around, and there went my glasses. I looked, my kids even helped look, but I guess they are really hard to see on the ground. I had to call out of work because I can't see to drive, and now I either have to get a metal detector or new glasses. This really sucks because I really like that pair of frames and I am missing a whole shift at work. TL;DR I really need to pay attention when walking the dog in the woods.

Update: bought metal detector, found my glasses, all is right in the world.

207
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/m1sterwr1te on 2025-07-15 18:11:53+00:00.


I am diabetic and have been for over 20 years. By the time it was diagnosed, I had lost the feeling in my toes and the bottom of my feet. This isn't the fuckup.

My wife recently (a week ago) had a knee replaced and had been depending on me to get around and bring her things. She wanted to go to the pool, as the doctor recommended she get up and walk every hour or so, and she loves going to the pool, even if she couldn't swim.

Near the end of our day out. I walked around the edge of the pool to use the bathroom on the opposite side. The cement was probably a little hot, but I saw plenty of people walking on it and figured it couldn't be too bad.

On the way back, I noticed my steps felt weird. Remember, I have no feeling in the soles of my feet. It just felt like I was stepping on something. When I got back to our seats and started putting on socks and shoes, I noticed some loose skin. Figuring it was a blister that broke open, I got ready and we left.

On the way out is when I saw the partial bloody footprints and started to worry how big the blister was. We made a few stops and I tried to put them out of my head.

Once home, I helped my wife get settled into her seat, put away groceries, then sat down to take off my shoes. My socks were soaked with blood, and there were flaps of skin hanging off both feet.

Turns out I had burned the soles of my feet so badly that the skin had peeled of from behind my toes to almost the middle of my feet. Now, instead of taking care of my wife, I'm sitting with my bandaged feet propped up while our adult sons take time out of their days to stay with and take care of both of us.

The only upside to this is that my feet don't hurt despite being badly burned.

TL;DR: I walked around the length of the pool on hot concrete and burned my numb soles so badly I can't walk or take care of my wife.

208
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Embarrassed_Hold_757 on 2025-07-15 06:47:48+00:00.


I can't speak Chinese. Had a girlfriend that practiced a bit. Picked up on a few words. Sounded cool and used it to impress people. I went overboard tho. Told coworkers I spoke Chinese. Even on my resume. Lie continued abou a year now.

Ni hae type stuff. Heavy with it. Teased coworker constantly, made jokes. Full on sentences. I only know like 30 words if that much. Basically became the Chinese guy.

Today a foreign exc come over. No idea bro's Chinese. A while back company stated they had someone that's bilingual, would be used as a translator. Not informed 😑. Came to my office, introduced him to the team while in a meeting, says I speak Chinese. Bro went full mandarin. No bars. Just staring like an idiot. Had to admited I didn't know Chinese.

tl:dr I have work tomorrow. Contemplating changing jobs.

209
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/FantasticFox42 on 2025-07-15 02:38:12+00:00.


so this happened a few months ago but it’s still kinda messing with me lol

my 8 year old cousin was over for a family thing, and he’s a pretty quiet kid. gets overwhelmed around adults and mostly just sits in the corner with his Switch. I thought maybe I could help him feel more included so I offered to play some Mario Kart with him. he lit up right away. told me he loved racing games but he never gets to win when he plays with his older brother

so i figured yeah sure why not, i’ll let him have a couple wins. help him feel like a champ. I started sandbagging a bit, not drifting much, slowing down at the end so he could pass me. the usual big cousin move yknow?

he wins three races in a row and he’s bouncing around like he just won the lottery. yelling “I’m actually good at this!!” and my aunt is clapping and smiling like he just graduated college or something. wholesome moment, 10/10

but then he wants to keep playing. like a lot. i keep letting him win cause im thinking “alright this’ll burn out eventually”

spoiler: it didn’t

fast forward to now, this kid brings his Switch over every time he visits. he walks in the door like “you ready to lose again?” and I laugh but inside I know it’s not a joke anymore

he grinded. he actually practiced. he knows all the shortcuts, hits every drift, uses mushrooms like some kind of kart-racing warlock. i started trying again and HE STILL BEATS ME. like regularly. it’s not even close sometimes

and the worst part? he talks trash. like straight up “maybe you should pick baby mode” and “did you mean to fall off rainbow road orrrr?”

his dad (my uncle) told me he plays every day now and tells his school friends “I beat a grown-up at Mario Kart and made him quit” (which technically happened once when I rage-quit after getting blue shelled twice in one race. I’m not proud.)

anyway yeah. I was just trying to be nice and now I have a pint-sized rival who’s slowly destroying my gaming self-esteem one race at a time

at least he says i’m his favorite cousin now. before he obliterates me on Wario Stadium

tl;dr tried to let my little cousin win at Mario Kart to boost his confidence, accidentally created a mini tryhard who now absolutely wrecks me every time he visits

210
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/jjlakomi on 2025-07-14 21:28:44+00:00.


I (22M) have been dating my girlfriend (27F) for a little over four months. She has a 5-year-old son from a previous relationship. I knew that from the beginning, and I never pretended like it was a problem. I liked her a lot - still do and I figured I’d just take things slow and see how it goes.

For the first few months, we mostly spent time alone. I met her son briefly once, just a quick hello when I dropped her off, but she never pushed me to be involved which I appreciated. She said she wanted to wait and see if the relationship was going somewhere before introducing me more seriously into his life.

Well, last week she brought it up again. She said she thinks we’re getting serious, and she wanted to talk about what kind of role I might want to have in her son’s life, long-term.

I didn’t know how to respond. So I just told her the truth: “I really like you, but I’m not sure I’m ready to take care of a kid — not right now.”

She went quiet. For a few seconds, she just stared at me. And then she got angry. Not loud, not dramatic — just quietly furious. She said: “Then what are we even doing here?”

I tried to explain that I wasn’t saying I’d never be ready, just… that I wasn’t sure, and I didn’t want to pretend I was. I told her I wasn’t trying to hurt her, I just wanted to be honest.

She said something like: “If you date me, you date both of us. That’s the deal. I don’t have time for ‘maybe someday.’ My son deserves someone who’s all in.”

After that, she left.

We haven’t talked since. I texted her the next day and apologized if I handled it badly. I said I respect her and her kid and I didn’t mean to sound selfish. But she didn’t respond.

I get why she’s upset. I didn’t think it would come out like that, but maybe deep down I’m not ready for that responsibility. I just didn’t expect it to end like this.

TL;DR Told my older girlfriend that I’m not sure I’m ready to help take care of her child. She got really upset and walked out. Now I’m not sure if we’re still together.

211
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Accomplished-Fix1204 on 2025-07-14 15:59:34+00:00.


We got stuck in traffic on the way home from the a date. We went to an Italian place and saw the new Superman movie. My boyfriend is lactose intolerant and we suspect a mild gluten sensitivity, he knows this and still decided to get chicken alfredo. In general I really don’t care, I mean I’m not his mother so he can eat whatever he wants. Unfortunately got stuck in some traffic on the way back from the movies. His stomach was pretty upset and he told me he wasn’t feeling too hot. It was raining pretty heavily and traffic wasn’t moving. He said he needed to fart badly and I told him go ahead. It definitely wasn’t an ideal situation to roll the windows down and for some reason a few of them haven’t been coming all the way down. It’s an older car honestly he got from his parents. I’m getting over a cold and my sense of smell is pretty muted right now, so I figured I’d deal.

Nope. I didn’t hear anything, I just saw him looking a little bit too relieved. I don’t think I’ve ever gagged from the smell of a fart before… I could literally taste it somehow. We ended up rolling the windows down and it barely helped. The smell took what felt like forever to dissipate then this man had the nerve to fart again. I fear that my nose hairs and tastebuds may never be the same again. Gluten and dairy farts should be illegal.

TL:DR I told my boyfriend he could fart in the car while we were stuck in traffic.

212
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/veronichaotic on 2025-07-14 04:40:30+00:00.


My boyfriend (27M) and I (25F) went out to lunch, and when I went to the bathroom to take a (much-needed) poop, I texted him about the bathroom and how my poop was going (it’s a weird little thing we do). When he opened up his texts, he saw a picture of himself from the night before after I cracked his back. I thought it was funny how crazily relaxed he was, and it was from the back, showing the back of his head.

He saw the photo and asked if his hair was thinning. I told him not to do this to me in the bathroom, and he said, “So is that a yes?” I finished up my poop and sat back down with him. I told him that yes, his hair was thinning, but it’s been like that since we’ve been together (7 months), and it doesn’t make me any less attracted to him. You can barely notice how it’s thinning, and it’s never bothered me or made me any less attracted to him. He is so attractive that if he went completely bald, he would still look so good.

His 28th birthday is coming up, and he’s grappling with the thought of getting old and being 30 soon, and it’s been messing with his head. I think that, combined with feeling less attractive and his hair thinning, is getting to him. He struggles with depression and anxiety, and this has just made him spiral no matter the amount of reassurances I give. He was just starting to do better, and now I feel like he’s done a hard reset. I try to be a good, supportive, reassuring girlfriend, but I don’t know what to do about this.

TL;DR: I told my boyfriend his hair was thinning while I was pooping and now he’s spiraling.

213
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/pikachenea on 2025-07-14 00:42:37+00:00.


I was on vacation in the Turkish Riviera and didn’t pack a bathing suit since I didn’t have room, thinking I’d just buy one when I got there. Instead of going to a proper store, I got lazy and grabbed one from the convenience store next to my hotel.

During a group kayak tour to see some sunken cities and an old Turkish castle, I stretched to step into the kayak that was on a dock and the swimsuit completely split open. I mean full rip. Thankfully I was the last one to get into a kayak so. The only one to maybe get a view of the initial tear was one unfortunate guide.

I panicked, tied my shirt around my waist to cover up, and forgot to grab my water bottle off the dock. I was stuck like that for six hours in the sun, paddling around in 90 degree heat. I was so preoccupied I didn’t even put sunscreen on the rest of me, just my arms and face. I ended up with the worst sunburn of my life.

TLDR: Bought a $5 swimsuit, maybe flashed strangers, forgot my water, and got the worst sunburn of my life.

Edit: a lot of people are hung up on the fact that I couldn’t fit the swimsuit. I was traveling to Europe for 3 weeks and I only travel with carry ons so something had to be sacrificed and since we were only on the coast for 3 days I figured I could just buy a swimsuit and then throw it away when we left.

214
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Feisty-Ad276 on 2025-07-14 09:54:59+00:00.


Hi everybody,

Very sorry for going MIA for the past few days. It’s been a lot since my original post.

I ended up speaking to my boyfriend the day after everything went wrong and I went to sleep at my parents house, basically he apologised for everything he said and that he was incredibly stressed over proposing and everything bubbled to the surface.

I told him this wasn’t good enough and while I appreciated him apologising, I didn’t accept it and I felt I deserved better than that.

To paraphrase a very long conversation, the proposal is off the table for now. But neither of us are prepared to throw away a six year relationship over this.

For more context we met at a rave, and do continue to go to raves as it’s something we enjoy to do together which is why I normally dress like we’re going ‘clubbing’

I feel like posting on Reddit opened my eyes to a side of our relationship that I had tried to close off. While I do love him, there are things in our relationship that I’m not happy with, and things that he’s not happy with either that we have both compromised on that we’re not sure are compatible in the long-term.

I’m going to stay at my parents for awhile while he goes back to the house that we own together and we are spending time together, but apart trying to rebuild what we have.

I have shown him the Reddit post that I made and he agreed that his comments weren’t about the dress but about the moment.

We are both committed to each other and this relationship wherever that leads but with new expectations and reservations towards each other.

There are things we both could’ve done differently which we acknowledge and at this point I’m just trying to see what the future looks like for us, if romantically or not.

Thank you so much to everybody who was genuinely helpful, you have no idea how much I needed it at the time and now.

TLDR: had a very hard conversation with my boyfriend about the comments made about me and we are seeing what the future holds while also spending time apart

215
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/DungeonsAndData on 2025-07-14 01:45:00+00:00.


Quick disclaimer: It's a migraine medication. I have the kind of migraine that can knock me out for days and leave me foggy for a week or two. The medicine, if I take it on time, stops the migraine dead in its tracks and I end up sleepy for a few hours. If I take it too late, I end up suffering a few extra days, but no fogginess. Not great, but better than nothing.

So I was out with my family on an out-of-state vacation, and I had to come up with a way to keep my medication with me. They're all individual packets so it's easy to divvy up. I had some in my office, my work bag, my daily bag, my nightstand, all the usuals... But that doesn't help on my trip. So I figured, I'd have it with me all the time, so my wallet would be great! Except...i keep my wallet in my back pocket, not my front, and we were going rock hounding.

So, one fantastic drizzly day of clawing through clay and shale to find cool stuff, clanging with pickaxes and hammers, we finally get in the car with our spoils and I almost immediately get an aura. I grab for a bottle of water and the pill and when I open it, it's powder. Just powder.

This thing is a pressed pill, and even just putting it in my mouth to swallow it is so f@#$&ing bitter, so I knew what was about to happen. My options were limited, because if I waited, it was a one-way ticket to pain for the rest of the vacation and a good chunk of my return week no matter what I did.

So I huffed and puffed and swallowed my apprehension...and the powder.

Y'all, if Bititrex was a medicine, this would have given it a run for its money. I gagged. I wheezed. I had tears in my eyes...but it worked. I managed to live to regret it for the rest of the trip, migraine free!

TL:DR Do NOT keep your medications in your back pocket when doing intensive adventuring. Pills were not made for flavor.

216
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Strong-Orange-3721 on 2025-07-13 18:14:52+00:00.


I came back from work on friday with a small cake that a co worker who I'm friends with baked for me, it was my birthday last week but she was on leave and had promised to bake me a cake for my birthday. I usually would have shared something like cake but I didn't want to because my roommates are constantly eating my food without asking. My leftovers, oatmeal, eggs, milk, bread like they just help themselves to anything like I'm a fucking grocery store. I am not even sure which roommate it is because I haven't caught anyone in the act.

I have spoken to them calmly multiple times but all of them denied it. Anyway I just cut a small slice of my cake for myself and put the rest in the fridge. I made it a point to tell all of my roommates that the cake in the fridge belongs to me and to please don't touch it. Later that night I woke up and decided to go get myself another slice and found half the cake gone. I am usually a calm and rational person but I just completely lost it because it felt like a fuck you to me. It was in the ams but I knocked on all their doors and yelled at them to come out.

I told them that I'm not going anywhere until whomever ate my cake owns up to it and I'm going to kick his ass because it's probably the same asshole who won't stop eating my food despite me asking them multiple times to stop. I was bluffing because I have never actually kicked anyone's ass and I was hoping no one took me up on it, I was just angry. I kept ranting loudly about how fed up I was with their thieving but only one of them came out.

He told me it wasn't him but there was no need for me to act like this over cake which just pissed me off more. Eventually the cops came, apparently a neighbor had complained about the noise. The other roommates only came out then. The cops just basically told us to behave and keep it down then left. For a second there I was really worried, the last thing I need is to be arrested over cake.

TLDR: I almost got arrested over cake.

217
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Altruistic-Habit5106 on 2025-07-13 15:47:21+00:00.


So, TIFU. I was doing some browsing on Reddit and came across a post I remembered my (m28) girlfriend (f30) shared with me that she posted. We’ve been together almost 10 years now. (Kinda high school sweetheart stuff.) It was something cutesy about a farming game she liked and gave feedback, she got a few silly/exciting comments and was excited to show me.

Well, I found it and saw her profile. We never really made any effort to connect via Reddit, I’m pretty much offline for 99% of my time. So I decided to see what else she posted and I came across a post.

Here is where I f’ed up. I saw a post that was in relationship advice, definitely not meant for me but I’m human. I opened the post and there was a thread with 60+ responses. The whole post was about a really rough timeframe a while ago.

This has me devastated. It is all stuff we are addressing and actively working on but to see that frustration from her again made me feel like shit. I won’t go into a lot of detail, but essentially I was so depressed that I wasn’t even showing up for myself, let alone anyone else.

I’m still working really hard and want to be in an even better position, I’ve gone to therapy and am getting medication but it’s definitely still a bit of a roller coaster for me.

We’re supposed to go out to the Zoo today with our 6 year old today and I’ve been in the bathroom for almost an hour trying to retain any bit of composure. I know I’ll be fine in a bit, but holy shit, I should’ve let sleeping dogs lie.

TL;DR I saw a post my girlfriend uploaded about a rough time in our relationship and now I’m sad.

218
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/immaturedoods on 2025-07-13 01:57:32+00:00.


This happened a few hours ago and I can’t stop laughing about it.

So, after I ate dinner. I was still hungry. But i didn’t want seconds because the Alfredo sauce was too watery and it made my noodles have this baby food texture that i didn’t particularly like. Now, it’s not anyone’s fault. Not what I’m saying at all. My mom had just bought the wrong Alfredo sauce on accident. (I’m not bashing my nurse or my mom) But my nurse made it, so i ate it because i was being nice and didn’t want to hurt her feelings. Now, keep in mind i have cerebral palsy and handicapped in a wheelchair (Sorry if I’m over explaining, it’s a habit).

Anyways, i finished dinner and i was thinking of a grilled cheese burrito from Taco Bell and that’s when i said, “you wanna know something funny? I’m craving cock” took me a second to realize what I said. “Wait- hold up-“ did I just say that? She died laughing. I died laughing that I think I pulled something and then my belly became to hurt because I laughed harder then I planned to. I was quite embarrassed to say the least.

TL;DR: accidentally told my nurse I was craving cock😭😭😭

Edit: these comments are making me laugh. Stay tuned for any other eff ups I have in the future lmaooo😭😭😭

219
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Every_Idea_19 on 2025-07-12 19:07:55+00:00.


Don't worry he's fine. Sorry formatting I'm on phone. So my boyfriend's sister (f18) has a rabbit we will call Thumper. She got him a few years ago and promised to take care of him but complains when she has to feed him, change his litter, water him and complains that he's a dick. He is a little rude but that's because she sucks at handling animals, doesn't listen to their cues and keeps pushing. He lives in a hut and a small caged zone that he has been escaping from. As punishment from escaping she has not been letting him leave the hutch. She's going off to college and can't take him with her so I offered to keep him because he's a sweetheart when not caged for a week straight. I also have been planning making him his own area that's much bigger for him to spread out. Here's where I fucked up. To prepare for the transition we have been having supervised free roam time when I'm home alone, that way he and the dog can get better acquainted. The dog has anxiety, like we have to give her weed during storms anxiety. When he breaks out she chases him back into the cage and is chill unless he drinks her water then she freaks out. So I thought "well I just have to keep her from chasing him. She is currently sitting on my shoulder shaking because he thumped at her. This girl is freaking out because he's out of his cage and invading her space. I'm comforting her but I thought I would be stopping her from bulling him not the other way around. TLDR TIFU by giving my dog an anxiety attack by letting the rabbit free roam

220
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Active-String-6136 on 2025-07-11 18:55:18+00:00.


I (21 F) am new to the job world and have started applying for entry level jobs in my field. Only to unexpectedly wind up interviewing for a rather large company in my field. The interview went amazing and apart from some small hiccups I thought I had it in the bag. Then they asked me for 2 professional references. It was at this point I panicked. Even though I have done the sort of work they want me to do before. It wasn’t ever with any one company long term. In the end I gave them my current boss’ contact info (I work at Target so that means nothing) and the front desk number for a legitimately good business to use but I didn’t have that boss’ number saved to my phone. So in the end I gave them the number of a store clerk and a dial up machine. How fucked am I? TL;DR: I gave an interviewer for a really good job, really shitty references to contact.

221
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/oldveteranknees on 2025-07-12 22:06:52+00:00.


I’m currently away for some work training. I’ll be away for so long that I moved out of my apartment for the duration of training. I can’t keep a pet. I’ve also never had a pet before.

Needless to say, I’m pretty damn lonely.

But I fucked up by going to the animal shelter today. I walked in and saw a pair of beautiful kittens (one grey/black one white/orange). Once the grey cat saw me, she immediately reached out to me from the cage and meowing like crazy 😭😭😭 she tried everything she could to get out of the cage to greet me. My eyes are actually swelling up thinking about it. The other cat warmed up to me as well and began following his sister’s actions after maybe 10 minutes of me being there.

A few hours later, I’m sitting in my hotel room thinking that I made a mistake going to see those kittens. I’ll never forget them. If I didn’t have several months before completing training (training is split between a few locations), I would’ve found a way to take them home today.

TL;DR I went to an animal shelter knowing damn well I can’t keep any pets right now. I fell in love with two kittens there and it’s fucking me up.

222
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/BethanyBluebird on 2025-07-12 14:55:58+00:00.


I was out in my garden, picjing raspberries. Felt something land on my forehead and assumed it was a mosquito.. so I swatted it. As soon as I brought my hand down and saw that bright green color, I realized I had fucked up.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chrysopidae

This lil stinker is a green lacewing. When threatened they release a chemichal that smells exactly like the worst shit you have ever taken.. and I had just smeared one across my forehead. Now my partner is laughing at me while I scrub my forehead with vinegar and Dawn dish soap in a futile attempt to make my face smell less like I just ate someones ass. It stinks so bad, y'all. Like.. seriously.

I love these little guys for eating the aphids in my garden... They're incredible for pest control, and pretty, but DEAR GOD do they pack a stinky stinky punch.

TLDR: swatted what I thought was a mosquito and instead got a face full of ass stank from my friendly neighborhood aphid control.

223
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/ursois on 2025-07-12 12:10:29+00:00.


Obligatory happened a few weeks ago.

So my wife likes to keep her car neat and clean. I've never cared that much about vehicular tidiness, but it's her car, so I do my best to keep her happy and not throw trash on the floorboard. Here's where the fuckup happened: we ate lunch at a drive through while we were running around doing errands. I was ~~driving~~ in the driver's seat, and of course she was in the passenger seat. In my car I'd just plop the trash on the floorboard and clean it out later. I opened my straw up, and needed to do something with the wrapper. The bag the food came in wasn't free, and there was no place to put it, so my cave-man thought process went like this:

Problem: Have trash. No put trash on floorboard. Make wife angry.

Solution: find bag to put trash in.

Problem: no bag

Solution: give trash to wife. Wife can find place to put it, so she won't be mad. Hold out trash for wife to take.

Problem: holding trash, but wife is busy with food bag and can't take trash. Hand getting bored from holding trash.

Solution: put trash in wife's lap, so she can put it where she wants when she is free. Wife be happy with clean car.

If you have the brain of a slightly dull Labrador retriever, it makes perfect sense.

My wife, on the other hand, just sees me take my straw wrapper, wad it up tighter and tighter, and then put it on her leg like she's a trash can. Her response was... not great. I'm lucky she loves me a lot or I'd have probably had to take an Uber home. A week later and I was still hearing about it.

And I learned from this that I need to up my level of thinking to at least that of a clever border collie.

Edit: I was in the driver's seat, but we were parked at the time, so I can't even use "I was driving" as an excuse.

TL,DR: I couldn't find a place to put my trash in the car, so I put it in my wife's lap. She was not amused.

224
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/kaka0bistan on 2025-07-12 06:41:20+00:00.


I work at a restaurant as a hostess/waitress/cashier person. As much as I'd like to advertise, I won't include the name, but it is very family friendly. My boss has 4 kids, 2 girls and 2 boys. The youngest is a 5 year old we'll call Carlos.

Carlos really loves sharks and dinosaurs and tends to draw them whenever he tags along to work with his mom. Today, he complained to me that they were out of paper. Sure enough, one printer check and there was no paper. I looked around for anything that could substitute because that kid can be an absolute menace to society if not distracted. This is when I found the label sheets.

I guess I should elaborate a bit. We're a hotpot restaurant set up in a grocery store format: little dishes of food you buy to cook in big pots of soup. There are labels for each kind of food you can cook, hence the label sheets. I end up telling the child he can use the label sheet to draw and we create a few rainbow sharks and write his name with markers they just have there.

Tell me why Carlos then runs up to this party of 3 that just walked in (a dad and his 2 girls) and just puts the sticker on the youngest girl's arm. Mortified, I start apologizing and gently berating Carlos for bothering the poor girl, but the dad just kinda waves it off and laughs.

Carlos proceeds to draw multiple sharks and just randomly gifts customers with these stickers throughout the night, telling them to "close your eyes!" or just straight up grabbing their arms to put his shark drawings on them. I can't keep an eye on him since obviously I'm working, but whenever I can I apologize and "yell" at him. Thank God he's just a silly 5 year old or this could've gone so much worse.

I was also gifted a shark sticker. He told me it's a great white shark.

TL;DR: I gave my boss's 5 year old a label sheet to draw on. He slaps his shark "stickers" on random customers' arms for the rest of the night.

225
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Mammoth_Platform_357 on 2025-07-11 16:34:39+00:00.


Last night, I was out at a bar with a few friends, just hanging out. I noticed this girl across the room — laughing, clearly the life of the group. My friends saw me looking and started hyping me up. After enough peer pressure (and two whiskey sours), I decided to go for it.

Mid-walk over, I stepped on what I now know was a spilled drink. My foot slid out, I flailed like a malfunctioning windmill, and landed flat on my back right in front of her.

She looked over and asked, “Oh my god, are you okay?” I gave a thumbs-up and said, “Yeah, just testing gravity.”

Safe to say, I didn’t get her number. I did, however, get an ice pack and a fresh reminder that I am not, in fact, smooth.

TL;DR: Tried to flirt at a bar, slipped on a wet floor, fell in front of her, and embarrassed myself beyond repair.

view more: ‹ prev next ›