Today I Fucked Up

281 readers
1 users here now

r/TIFU means Today I Fucked Up.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
126
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Shot-Conversation538 on 2025-07-29 15:06:35+00:00.


This happened last weekend and I'm still recovering from the embarrassment. So my mom cleans some rental properties that my family owns and she came home Friday with a plate of brownies that some Airbnb guests had "left behind" My mom is an immigrant and didn't really understand what "special brownies" meant she just saw food that would go to waste and thought they were regular dessert brownies. Being the sweet mom she is she decided to serve them while my brother and I were playing fifa. We absolutely demolished like half the plate. These things were delicious so we just kept eating. About an hour later my neck starts feeling weird and stiff. Then I'm getting dizzy and my heart is racing and I'm convinced I'm having some kind of medical emergency. I'm genuinely thinking I'm about to die from some disease or something. Meanwhile my brother had gone to his girlfriend's house and apparently the same thing hit him there. He starts texting our family group chat about how he feels like he's "floating" and thinks he might have food poisoning or worse. That's when my dad who hadn't eaten any brownies decided to look at the packaging they came in. Turns out these were very clearly labeled cannabis brownies that the guests had left behind and we'd basically eaten enough weed to tranquilize a horse.

TLDR mom brought home weed brownies by accident and me and my brother ate a ton and got insanely high which made us believe that we were dying then our dad read the label and solved the mystery

127
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/silly_bunny-_- on 2025-07-29 11:24:26+00:00.


TL;DR: Asked my Uber driver "how's your day?" and spent 45 minutes hearing about his divorce, missed my appointment, but somehow made his week better.

This happened yesterday and I'm still not sure how to feel about it.

I had a doctor's appointment across town, so I called an Uber. Driver shows up - let's call him Mike, mid-40s, seemed a bit down. Being the overly polite person I am, I ask "Hey, how's your day going?"

Big mistake.

Mike launches into this whole story about how his wife served him divorce papers last week, how she's taking the house, and how he's been living in his car for three days because he can't afford a deposit on an apartment yet. I'm sitting there like "oh no, what have I done" but also feeling genuinely bad for the guy.

The 15-minute ride turns into 45 minutes because we hit traffic, and Mike just keeps talking. About his kids, his job, how he never saw it coming. I'm checking the time thinking about my appointment, but I can't just tell him to stop - he clearly needs someone to listen.

We finally get to the doctor's office and I'm 30 minutes late. They had to reschedule me for next week. Mike feels terrible and offers to drive me back for free, but I tell him it's okay and tip him extra.

Here's the weird part - as I'm getting out, Mike says "Thank you for listening. I know you probably didn't want to hear all that, but I haven't talked to anyone about this stuff yet. You're a good person."

Got a text from him later through the app saying he called his brother (who he'd been avoiding) and they're meeting for coffee today. Apparently our conversation made him realize he doesn't have to go through this alone.

So I missed my appointment, but maybe helped someone through a rough patch? I don't know if I'm a saint or just have terrible boundaries.

128
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/anna_nanere on 2025-07-29 06:30:53+00:00.


Just a light short story. I went to a gig a week ago and arrived a bit early, so the venue wasn’t that crowded yet. From across the room, I saw a group of people waving in my direction. I couldn’t really see their faces, but I figured they must know me, so I confidently walked over to say hi.

As I got closer, I slowly realized I didn’t recognize any of them... but instead of turning around like I should have done, I just committed and greeted them anyway. I'm a French girl so I did the usual cheek kisses and everything to all of them.

The moment was so awkward because we all knew they hadn’t been waving at me at all (they probably waived at someone behind me), but no one said anything. I just quietly left right after, heading to a random corner as I was by myself, dying inside.

Later in the night, I ended up running into them again (after a few drinks), and we actually laughed about it together. But yeah… smooth move.

TL;DR: Went to a gig, saw people waving and assumed they knew me. Walked over, greeted them with French cheek kisses… Realized they were waving at someone else. We all knew it, left without saying anything, died inside.

129
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/donotpassgo2514 on 2025-07-27 22:57:04+00:00.


I had my brother’s family over for lunch today. I just picked up a couple pizzas. Thinking it’d be funny, I sprinkled some grains of cooked white rice on one. Then I acted all concerned to my nephew (8 I think??) and asked him “do these look like maggots to you?” He took one glance and promptly blew chunks all over the floor. To make matters worse, their dog the started licking the barf and walked in it so it got spread all around. His parents were not at all pleased with me. I obviously felt bad and didn’t expect him to have such an extreme reaction. He later claimed he saw the rice moving. All he ate was some applesauce while the rest of us had pizza.

TL;DR I put rice on pizza and jokingly pretended it was maggots which caused my nephew to vomit.

130
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Palmaseed on 2025-07-28 22:06:34+00:00.


I've been dealing with some serious workplace drama lately. My coworker got promoted over me even though I've been here longer and have way more experience, plus they've been making these passive aggressive comments ever since. I was texting my best friend last night to vent about the whole situation. I typed out this long message that ended with "honestly this place is a complete shitshow and I can't wait to find something else" and hit send. Then I see the little notification that says delivered and glance up to see I'm in a text thread with my mananger mike not my friend mike. My friend mike is saved as Mike F but my boss is just Mike and apparently my brain just picked the wrong one.

I immediately felt my soul leave my body. Like that cold wash of panic when you realize you've done something catastrophically stupid. I stared at my phone for probably five full minutes hoping it would somehow unsend itself.

Had to go into work this morning knowing he definitely saw it. Sure enough he pulled me into his office first thing and we had the most awkward conversation of my entire life. He was weirdly cool about it though like just said he appreciated my honesty and asked if there was anything we should talk about. I'm pretty sure I'm on thin ice now but at least

TL;DR: Sent a text calling my workplace a shitshow to my boss instead of my friend. Still employed but barely.

131
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Border_Lander on 2025-07-28 16:57:51+00:00.


So i got new job about 6 months ago. My immediate supervisor, lets call her G, is a very unpleasent person to be around, but thats life. The pay is mostly worth putting up with it.

We got a new person and G asked me to make sure they were added to the teams group chat. There are officially three group chats. A main one with everyone in it, and two other smaller ones for specific projects and those direcrly involved in them. And a 4th, unnoficial chat that has everyone except for G.

This 4th chat is used to coordinate things we do on personal time, but work spills into it all the time. Its sort of the default we all use.

I didnt have the new hires cell number yet, so i asked the new persons trainer to add them to the chats. He added them right there, and that waa the end of it. Or so i thought.

He added the new hire to one of the sub chats and the unofficial 4th chat, and omitted the main group chat.

G asked me today why new new hire wasn't in the GC yet. I said they were. They had sent messages in it only a few minutes before. G told me she had just checked her phone and they werent in there. I double checked and sure enough.

The FU. I said "oh, my bad. Theyre in the other group chat. I'll add them to both now".

To which G responds "What other chat? Theres another group chat?"

It wasn't until then i realized that G, being probably the most toxic person ive ever met, obviously wouldnt be involved in a group that we use do fun stuff after work.

There followed the most awkward silence of my life. I dont think she believed me when i said "No".

So I got the stink eye from G the rest of the day, and my coworkers and pretty irritated at me for letting it slip.

TL;DR Let slip to my boss that an unnoficial group chat exists involving everyone except for her.

Edit: i meant team chat as in the chat the team uses, not Microsoft Teams.

132
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Medium-Self-3757 on 2025-07-28 10:36:44+00:00.


So my girlfriend and I have been joking around with flirty texts all week. This morning I sent what I thought was a spicy message to her (won't say what it was but it definitely wasn't child friendly) but it literally went to my mom instead she replied "???" and then "I think you meant someone else" I have never wanted to crawl into a hole faster in my life. I immediately tried calling her to explain but she didn't pick up which honestly might be for the best because what do you even say "sorry mom that explicit text was meant for someone else" doesn't really make it better. Now I'm sitting here overthinking every family dinner we're gonna have for the rest of eternity. Do I pretend it never happened or do I address it directly how do you recover from accidentally sexting your mother. My girlfriend thinks it's hilarious of course. She's been sending me screenshots of similar stories from reddit trying to make me feel better but honestly it's just making me realize how common this nightmare scenario apparently is. The worst part is my mom is probably going to bring this up at the most inappropriate time possible knowing her sense of humor. I can already picture christmas dinner "So honey how's your texting going" I'm 24 years old and I feel like I'm 12 again getting caught doing something embarrassing. Technology was supposed to make communication easier not create new ways to traumatize yourself and your family members.

TLDR Tried to sext my girlfriend and accidentally sent it to my mom. She hit me with a confused reply and now I’m just sitting here questioning my entire life. Girlfriend’s laughing while I'm dying inside

133
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/IndependentFee3611 on 2025-07-28 13:24:01+00:00.


This happened a few weeks ago but my soul still leaves my body when I think about it.

I was at a friend’s house for a get-together. Not a huge party, just 7–8 people, snacks, dumb games, and good vibes. After a while my stomach got triggered by some spicy snack and nature called, I asked for the bathroom, went in, and thought I locked the door.

Turns out, I didn’t. I closed it, yes. But I didn’t twist the little lock thingy properly because I was too distracted trying to be fast and polite.

So there I am, peacefully doing my business, when suddenly the door swings open and my friend’s cousin, who I’d literally just met an hour ago walks in.

We locked eyes, I was seated and pants down. Pure silence, no one moved. Just deep, spiritual shame.

She screamed, I screamed sorry still don’t know why, I somehow kicked the door shut, and then just sat there contemplating existence.

When I came out, everyone knew. EVERYONE. Someone even offered me a bottle of water and said, “You okay, bro?” like I had just come back from war.

I stayed another 10 minutes for dignity’s sake, then faked a phone call and left.

Lesson learned: Always double check the damn lock. Twist. Tug. Test. Don’t trust your memory. Your dignity isn’t auto-saved, buddy. Save it manually.

TL;DR: Went to a friend’s place, didn’t properly lock the bathroom door, got walked in on mid-poop by his cousin. Social life is now permanently in recovery mode.

134
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Dazzling-Painter6013 on 2025-07-28 03:11:25+00:00.


First mistake: Putting one of my sharpest knives in the dishwasher. With the sharp point facing upward, because the upper bracket was full.

I was bending over to put down (or adjust) a small plate at the back, over the cutlery holder. When I drove the underside of my wrist onto the knife. I started bleeding like a faucet. On the dishwasher, the sink, along the countertop, and onto the floor.

All of this happened from just moving about 2 meters from one side of the kitchen to the other. Within maybe 5 seconds, I had some paper towels on the wound, and it stopped bleeding after around 10 seconds. Fully sealed.

Then I just cleaned up like nothing happened.

But I learned a valuable lesson: Never put your sharp knives pointing upward in the dishwasher.

P.S. I didn’t cut the main artery (at least I don’t think so), but it was one of those big visible ones on the wrist. The puncture was about 7–8 mm deep.

TL;DR: I cut myself bending over a sharp knife that was standing point-up in the dishwasher.

135
1
TIFU X2 (old.reddit.com)
submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/DommieBoy on 2025-07-28 02:14:38+00:00.


Issa double! Today I was replacing the power steering pump on my truck, and adjusting the steering box. I had my young kids with me in the front yard while I was doing the work, and when I was done I said "Okay, stay there, I'll be back in 10 seconds" and drove my truck 400 feet down the road to a bowling alley parking lot to see if I got the steering box tension right (FU #1) as soon as I pull out of the bowling alley to come back approximately 20 seconds later, I see two of my kids on the shoulder of the road, and a car right there slowing to a stop. I get back in another 10 seconds and yell to get away from the road, while pulling in. The lady in the car tells me that she was scared for them, so she stopped, and I said "Yeah, I guess I have to be now too" while shooing them inside, meaning scared that they will run into the road (they are much too big for that to really have to be a concern) but I feel like it could have been taken much differently (FU #2)

TL;DR thought my kids would listen for under a minute to stay put, was wrong, was probably unintentionally vindictive to a random nice lady who stopped.

136
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/MarisiaKing on 2025-07-28 04:37:56+00:00.


So this weekend, I went kayaking with a group of guys from work. I prepared as best I could - brought plenty of water, put on sunscreen and bug spray, and brought a plastic bag to keep my phone dry.

The whole trip I didn't think anything was wrong. Pale as a ghost the whole way. I burn pretty easy, but after I got out of the river and headed home, I realized my legs were a little red. I went straight home, but over the rest of the day my legs got so sunburnt I could barely walk. Today I could barely hobble around the kitchen to make food, let alone stand in one place for more than a minute without losing my balance. I literally had to hold onto walls to keep from collapsing.

I was expecting a little burn (and wouldn't have cared), because it was a 3 hour trip and I didn't reapply at all, but this is the worst sunburn I've had in 20 years. I checked the sunscreen I put on, and it expired in 2021, so it basically did nothing. The crazy part was I didn't really get burned at all on my face, neck, or arms; my legs and feet got the brunt of it.

So now I've got to hobble to the office in the morning with some ibuprofen and gritted teeth cuz I didn't check the expiration date. 😮‍💨

TL;DR: Used expired sunscreen by accident before going kayaking, got the worst burn of my life.

137
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/RockMo-DZine on 2025-07-28 00:06:26+00:00.


More accurately, this happened on Friday.

Planned to wake up super early to get groceries.

Total fail (hung-over), then got stuck in lunch time crowd. Finally got home, popped the trunk, started unloading the car - cold/frozen stuff first.

Grabbed a few bags, noticed milk was leaking all over the trunk. Dropped car key fob into one of the bags, put bags down in the trunk, grabbed the milk, picked up the bag I thought my fob was in, and closed the trunk.

Just as it closed, saw bag of canned stuff fall over. That's when I heard the thunk of car doors locking. I figured the key fob was in one of the other bags.

No worries, have a spare key, need to get this milk taken care of first.

Pour milk in a jug, drop bag of frozen in freezer, go get the other key.

No Key. (blaming others for the missing key caused a separate TIFU issue all by itself).

Start calling locksmiths to urgently unlock car - it's over 98F here.

Soonest time is 2 hours ... with a $250 call-out fee.

They arrive after 5 hours, open the car - which does not smell good.

And Still No Key Fob! WTF!

Pay key guys, trash all the cold/frozen stuff, put away the dry/canned stuff. Still no keys.

By now, it's well past 8 PM, I'm several beers in, starving hungry, with no desire or energy to cook.

Bag of frozen stuff I did bring in had 3 frozen pizzas in it, so I figure just have one of them.

Pre-heated oven, went to get one of the pizzas, and right there, sandwiched between two pizzas, my [bleeping] key fob.

I know it's my fault because I woke up late & hung-over, but man, if I'd have just stayed in bed.

TL;DR: Waking up late cost a fortune, the hangover didn't help either. I shoulda just stayed in bed.

138
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Fresh-Purpose1829 on 2025-07-27 22:42:32+00:00.


so…5 days ago matched with this girl on a dating app,immediately connected and started talking and texting, she seemed really nice and understanding, then i started to see some things, i saw her take screenshots which she said were accidental, okay understandable, then later on…i had a talk with her to have our first date….she only agreed for me to go to her city, which is 50km away from where i live and i don’t know the city well,i still agreed to go.

on the road, she texted, mentioned something about inviting me to her apartment, which seemed weird because we never met, so i text my bro and redflags start to go up, finally arrive at the destination…she video called me, but she was not on video, i asked her to use camera so i feel safe, she said “you will see me enough” and guided me to some shady streets, i told her if we don’t meet in a public space im leaving and she said “i cant there because people know me” and so i did, but i feel terrible and as if i ruined something that could have been good. At the moment i felt as if i was either being set up

TLDR:i felt like i was being setup so i left before that girl came and now i kinda regret it

139
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/MoaningLisaSimpson on 2025-07-27 21:12:00+00:00.


So, I live in Canada, and I love Neil Young. My son (M21) and is learning to appreciate Neil Young. He likes some songs and knows that Neil is a part of Canadian culture and also the 60d and 70s protest songs.

So, Neil is playing a show on my birthday this year. My son is attending a year round specialtyc college program and works 5-15 hours a week. He offered to get us tickets to Neil Young for my birthday. This is a large expenditure, and I've already said yes that's fine for birthday and Christmas. He then told me that with exchange it was nearly $600 dollars.

With exchange? I was puzzled. We are seeing a concert in Canada why was he charged American funds?

He showed me how he bought the tickets through an American vendor. I showed him Ticketmaster and the tickets were $120.00 each, Canadian (plus tax and Ticketmaster averice fees)

Now he said "What was the point of that? To make me feel shitty about your birthday? " then stood up andtook his lunch into his room. I feel like shit.

TL; DR: Today I fucked up by showing my 21 year old son he overpaid for my birthday present concert tickets. He is now angry and feels like I have ruined his grand gesture.

140
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/kiwi_wen on 2025-07-27 13:45:37+00:00.


Obligatory not today, but this is a story I wanted to share from a while back.

Some background; I am (now) 26F from the UK. We have apps over here that you can buy your train tickets on (Trainline being one of them). It will then provide you with a QR code that you can scan to get through the barriers at the train stations. We also have something called Railcards. You can pay ~£40 to purchase one of these, which you can then use to get up to 1/3 off your train ticket cost.

I don't drive, so I have to rely on public transport to get around. I needed to visit the supermarket on this particular day, so I opened up Trainline, bought my ticket, then headed off to the station to start my journey. I get the train with no issues, it was a short journey, so I didn't see any ticket guards while onboard, and therefore didn't get my ticket checked. I hop off the train and make my way towards the barriers. This particular station is quite large for the area I live in. It only has 5 platforms, but it is one of those stations where all the connecting trains stop, so it is often very busy.

As I'm making my way towards the train barriers, I see a few ticket guards standing by them dressed in high-vis vests. I could tell that something was going on as there are usually only one, max two hanging around. I get closer and start to walk toward the barrier, only to be stopped by one of the guards in high-vis. She gives me a quick explanation that she is from National Rail, and today they are checking everyone's tickets to make sure that everyone is travelling with the correct ticket. Not a problem, I have my app loaded up already, so I unlock my phone for her to scan my QR code. She scans it, and asks me a question I wasn't prepared for, "Can I see your railcard?" This question throws me a little. At this point in time, I don't, nor have I ever, owned a railcard. I relay this back to the guard, and she says, "Right," puts her scanner away, and gets out her notebook. I'm still confused about what's going on, and I must have had a puzzled look on my face as the woman says, "You bought a railcard ticket." This is when I look down at my phone and realise that why yes, in fact, I have purchased a railcard ticket. Still confused about how this happened, I went through my app until I figured out that I was logged into my bf's account. He has a railcard and he used my phone to buy a ticket when his phone battery was dead, so the default settings had a railcard selected.

I show this mistake to the guard, and I offer to purchase a new ticket at full price. She says no, it was my responsibility to check that I was travelling with a valid ticket. She then tells me that I am going to be fined £100. At this point, I'm getting stressed and upset. I explain that it was an accident, and I am more than happy to pay for a full priced ticket (keep in mind, the ticket value was less than £5). She stands her ground and starts demanding that I give her my full name and contact details. I'm now crying as I am in severe credit card debt, and £100 is a lot of money to me. A man on the opposite side of the barriers notices me and offers to buy me a ticket. The guard jumps in and turns him down immediately. She starts telling me that if I refuse to give her my details, she is going to call the police. I start having a panic attack (I have an anxiety disorder), but it is clear that the guard thinks I'm faking. I just keep crying, apologising, and offering to buy a new ticket.

This is about the point that the guard's male colleague (I believe he was her superior) steps in. He sees how upset I am, I explain it was an accident, and he tells her to let me go. She argues back a little, saying that they aren't supposed to do that and she wants to call the police, but eventually agrees to let me go after purchasing a new ticket. I pay for my ticket in silence, go through the barriers, and walk off. I'm so embarrassed at this point as everyone has just heard me crying and seen me having an anxiety attack. Unfortunately, I let it ruin my day, but now I can look back and laugh. Safe to say, I now triple check my train tickets every time before I purchase them.

TL;DR: I accidentally bought a train ticket using my bf's railcard and nearly got fined £100.

141
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/andine_lod on 2025-07-27 04:10:59+00:00.


I’m currently on day 14 of a 17 day vacation more than 2000 miles from home. At my house I use a battery powered and wifi connected key pad to unlock and lock the front door. The lock has a spot for a physical key that I keep on my keychain but never use. There are no spare physical keys hidden outside or kept with a friend.

Two weeks ago I left on vacation. I double checked that all back/side doors were secure and gave the front door code to my cat sitter. Since I was going to be out of town, I left my keys at home figuring that I wouldn’t need them while thousands of mile away.

While enjoying my vacation, the cat sitter stopped by every 2-3 days to feed and water the cat and make sure everything was good at the house. On day 10 of my trip, I get an alert on my phone that the battery on the lock is low. I think about how the cat sitter only needs to come by 2-3 more times and then I will be home and can change the battery. I assumed it should last those few uses.

On day 12, the cat sitter came by and got into the house without issue. Then later that night I get a message that the battery is “critically low.” I start to worry and ask the cat sitter to change the battery next time she is there.

Then on day 13 (last night), I get a notification that the lock has been offline for 24 hrs and I realize that it is completely dead. I start researching the particular lock we have and realize that there is no way to get the front door unlocked without the physical key which is safely inside my house. My cat sitter and I are locked out of the house and there’s still 5 days before I can get home.

I started thinking through my options. I could call a locksmith, but most won’t do the work without me, the homeowner, present and the cat definitely needs food and water before I can make it home. I decided to call a friend and asked him to try and break into my house. He went to my house today and first tried his amateur lock picking skills while I anxiously watched through the security camera. After no luck trying the front door and a side door, he decided to check my windows. Sure enough, my bedroom window wasn’t latched and he was able to climb in through the window that was about 6 feet off the ground.

Once inside he was able to replace the battery on the lock and secured the window he had used to break in. After giving the cat some extra love and pets, he left, taking the physical key with him incase the lock stops working again. The cat sitter has since come by and was able to get in without issue!

From now on I will be making sure I have a backup method for getting into my house and not relying on a battery powered lock.

TL;DR The battery for my front door lock died while I was on vacation and I had to call a friend to go break into my house.

142
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/NinjaCraftYT on 2025-07-26 22:51:11+00:00.


This happened about a month ago but my brother just reminded me of it, so figured I’d post it. My oldest nephew (brother's stepson) was graduating high school, so naturally I went to the graduation, and after, we all went to Buffalo Wild Wings together for dinner, and my sister in law's sister was paying for everyone so I wouldn't pass up a free hot meal.

We get there, and I'm looking at the menu, now I like spicy food, I don't love it, but I like it, I keep a bottle of taco bell fire sauce in the fridge, my Dad's from Buffalo so we were raised having buffalo chicken frequently. They have a little chart on the menu, and I see "Hot" is like 75% of the way up. I assumed that "Hot" was their default buffalo sauce, they had a lot of sweeter sauces to caterr to the non-spicy crowd, and a few hotter ones to cater to the spicy crowd, and oh I was wrong. So naturally I get my wings "hot", again, assuming it'd be their signature hot sauce and not overly spicy.

The wings get delivered, my brother's next to me, and he starts tearing up because of the fumes of spiciness coming from my plate. I pick a wing up, take a bite, and I feel the fires of hell raining down inside my mouth. My sister in law's sister's boyfriend is sitting across from me eating sweet wings, and he makes a comment about being able to taste the spicy fumes coming from my wings. Again, I've been using hot sauce fairly regularly my whole life, and most "hot" sauce again, isn't very "hot". I start chugging my mtn dew, and the waitress sees me, my brother starts laughing at me because I'm going red in the face, and the waitress rushes over with a drink insisting with me that I need to drink something. I ended up finishing my side dish, brought the wings home to my dad, and watched him eat the whole box like it was nothing.

TL;DR: Assumed “hot” wings meant regular hot sauce and not actually spicy, and my Dad happens to be built different.

143
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/pixieduststew on 2025-07-26 19:43:33+00:00.


Obligatory this-didn’t-happen-literally-today disclaimer.

My high school prom was about a year ago, and I bought a black jumpsuit covered in gold sequins for the occasion. I also bought a headpiece from Amazon that essentially amounted to a black-and-gold flower crown. I absolutely loved the outfit, but I’m extremely short - like 5’1” on my tippy toes short - so the jumpsuit ended up being a good few inches too long for me. Luckily, there was a tailor five minutes from my house, so my mom and I stopped by one afternoon after doing some shopping together. I changed into the jumpsuit, and as the tailor was pinning what he needed to, an elderly woman walked in. She started gushing about the jumpsuit, and my mom and I ended up chatting with her about my plans for prom.

Here is where I should mention that I’m autistic. Only Level 1, but it still does affect my life on a daily basis, most notably giving me sensory processing issues and making me incredibly socially awkward, especially in the presence of strangers. So my mom and this old lady were discussing my prom outfit, and they mentioned the flower crown, which happened to be extremely itchy and triggered my sensory processing issues. So this lady was like, “oh my gosh that outfit will be so cute” and I said:

“Yeah, let’s see how long it stays on though.”

I cannot stress this enough, I was referring to the itchy flower crown and nothing else. But obviously, that’s not how it came across, and there was a beat of extremely painful silence where both my mom and the old woman looked at me in utter horror, and then I realized and started tripping over my words trying to clarify what I meant. But the damage was done, and the conversion dropped off into awkward silence while I changed out of the jumpsuit, and as soon as we paid, I ran out of that shop like my feet were on fire.

TL;DR: My socially inept ass phrased something so poorly that I managed to imply to an elderly stranger that I was gonna go full slut mode at prom.

144
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/spiritualized on 2025-07-26 17:20:35+00:00.


I quite frequently buy big packs of tofu skin. When the pack is almost finished I just dump the last bits into whatever I'm cooking while taking out the silica gel packet that always comes in the bag.

Meal done, I sit down to eat and in the first chew I felt a crack, as if I'd chomped down on a piece of sand. Inspected the food and quickly found a bunch of glass like pearls and realized the silica gel pack must've been broken.

I don't like wasting food and what I'd made was really deilicious. So instead of throwing it out and making something new I decided to search through the food as I was eating it (with chopsticks). I know silica isn't poisonous or harmful other than potential choking hazard for children. I figured it couldn't be that bad or take too long.

I managed to only get a couple more in my mouth which were easily discarded upon discovery. The rest were gently picked out of the wood with my superiour chop stick skills.

I counted them all after I was done eating and the result was 131 pearls. That's 132 with the first one I discovered and accidentally ate.

Instead of being a usual 5-10 minute mealtime this took about an hour and twenty minutes. Resulting in the most tedious meal of my life.

I will never just dump the bag out again and always check if a silica bag has been broken.

TL:DR: I spent over an hour picking silica gel pearls out of my food with chop sticks.

145
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/SithRose on 2025-07-26 14:28:28+00:00.


I reside in that terrifying period of having a child old enough to drive. They still have their learner's permit, but it's hardly for want of trying. To date, we have now had 5 attempts at the road test, with but two actual road tests.

The first time we arrived at the DMV, we were presented with signs indicating that functionality of the car's windows would be tested. Problem. The passenger side window of my car doesn't roll down because the actuator is broken. Scratch that road test. Schedule another one with a different vehicle by imposing on my in-laws because I have neither the energy to fix it myself nor the money to get it fixed right now.

We arrive for the second time at the DMV. Pass through the line, as one does, and arrive at the desk. We're informed that all road tests are canceled for the rest of the day due to a severe accident on the route. Having seen that accident while we were driving around earlier, we hope everyone was OK - it was two motorcycles vs a box truck. It's disappointing but understandable.

Take three - Other than the kid failing the actual test because they drove too slowly, this one is uneventful. Bit of a trick question in that area, since the road speed isn't actually MARKED. So is take four, aside from another failure. This time for creating a dangerous situation - something about some jerk speeding up as they were about to turn, and they had to brake partway through the intersection to avoid the jerk. Frankly, I'm OK with them failing for defensive driving even if I think being dinged for driving defensively is silly. (I also understand that the kid's description of events may differ from what the tester saw.)

And now we come to take five. I pick them up from school to drive to the DMV, which is a good 45 minutes away from our semi-rural town. I've coordinated with my in-laws about using their car for the test. We're ten minutes away from the DMV when I realize...I forgot their birth certificate at home. A piece of paper which is absolutely critical for the road test, and which they won't do the test without. It's not physically possible to get home and back in time for the test. So they can't take it. The kid takes the news with understandable upset, and I want to cry. I had to take time off work to do this, and now I have to do it a SIXTH time. And I've just severely disappointed my kid, who is desperate to get their driver's license.

TL;DR: I forgot my kid's birth certificate and they weren't able to take their road test. For the 5th time.

146
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/planetarii on 2025-07-26 10:59:22+00:00.


I (F22) tend to procrastinate, but get things done, and that includes preparing for a flight. Yesterday was a fairly busy day for me so it wasn’t until 8/9 that I actually got to start packing. In the end, everything (as in my hair, nails, outfit, necessities) was together by 2AM… I have to leave by 4:50AM. No worries though! A quick power nap before I leave and then I can just sleep on the plane. Morning comes around and I wake up at 4:33… could be worse. I somewhat frantically get myself together and head out the door. When I see my driver waiting outside, I said thank you and that it’s not heavy at all, referring to my suitcase. It was light as a feather, but I packed light since it’s a 1 day trip so it makes sense. I get to the airport, which is an hour away from my home, and have about an hour til boarding. I stand in the security line when a person who works there comes up to me and asks, “what airline are you flying with?”. I thought it was a weird question to ask since no one has ever asked me that before, but I was groggy and said, “American”. She said, “okay you’ll have to check your bag”. I took a slight pause, looked down, and finally registered what is by my side. Not only is it not my carryon that I packed for this flight, but a big, empty suitcase that now needs to be checked in. To add some context in, both bags are essentially the same, just one is bigger than the other. I got ready in the dark and even managed to put my pants on inside out. Anyway back to the story, I take 5 seconds before realizing that I won’t have time to go back and get my actual luggage so I go and get my empty bagged checked. I somehow very quickly talk myself out of having a panic attack and just accept that this is what it is now. My heart is still racing and I still can’t think too much about it since I’ll just stress myself out. Now my trip just got more expensive. What brings me peace is knowing that I’m not the first person this has happened to so I’ll more or less be okay, I may be going to a state I’ve never been to but it’s still domestic, I kinda sorta have the funds to continue on with this trip, and I have a backpack with my essentials so I’m not too out of luck. So now instead of going to my hotel and settling, I’ll be frantically looking for stuff before the reason I went on this trip in the first place, a concert. I have about 2-4 hours, which should be reasonable or at least that’s what I keep telling myself. Oh and did I mention this is my first solo trip? At least I have an interesting travel story.

Edit: by 1 day trip I meant I was staying there for 1 night. So it’s actually a 2 day trip.

tl;dr I grabbed an empty suitcase, instead of my carryon for my trip. Therefore now having to buy extra clothes, necessities, and paying for an unnecessary checked bag.

147
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Golden_Goth on 2025-07-25 21:05:37+00:00.


This happened yesterday. To preface this, I struggle with body dysmorphia which gives me some pretty bad self esteem issues. Lately my self esteem has been very low and I’ve really struggled to feel attractive for about a year or so now due to gaining weight from antidepressants. I’m told that I’m conventionally attractive by people, but I really struggle to see it myself.

I came across a couple looks maxxing subreddits where I saw posts of people asking for advice on how to look better. I had only ever heard of these in passing so I wasn’t very informed of what goes on there. The few posts that I clicked on had some genuine advice from people and everyone seemed to be acting decent, so I decided to make a post myself asking for advice. I even found a smaller sub for people that wear alternative styles and decided to post there since I’m into goth style and have a lot of tattoos and piercings. I mainly asked for weight loss tips and piercing suggestions. I was mostly just expecting things like makeup tips, change in hair style, etc. based off what I saw.

I didn’t check my phone for a couple hours and came back to a shitshow. I guess my post really blew up and I had 80+ comments. Some people were nice, only about 5 gave actual advice, the rest were absolutely horrendous. I had people calling me repulsive, was told that I’m not dateable, and had multiple comments calling me fat and telling me to lose weight even though I didn’t even post a picture with my body in it. It was basically insult after insult. I had people rating me even though I didn’t ask and had someone even directly message me to call me a “4 at best with makeup”. I also had a good couple people say I was looking for attention which I guess I should take as a compliment?

I ended up taking all of my piercings out and crying my eyes out over my appearance. I eventually spilled the beans to my boyfriend after he asked me what was wrong and he asked why I would even post in a sub like that. Apparently he knew a lot more about them than me and knew how toxic they could get. I eventually calmed down and put my piercings back in after he convinced me that I shouldn’t listen to strangers on the internet insulting me from anonymous pages.

I ended up deleting the post. I now have a bruised ego and know not to post my face on Reddit.

TLDR; decided to post myself on a looks maxxing sub for appearance advice because I struggle with my self esteem. My post blew up and I got absolutely roasted and insulted by a lot of people. I ended up deleting the post and now have a severely bruised ego

148
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/AnalysisAmbitious229 on 2025-07-25 15:16:47+00:00.


My friend asked me if I could watch her 5 year old for a few hours because she had some last minute work thing and I was like sure how hard can it be right so I don’t have kids but I figured out cartoons and snacks would do the job. The first hour was fine. We watched cocomelon lane on netflix and i gave him some juice and snacks so everything is fine then out of nowhere this kid goes crazy. He starts sprinting around my apartment screaming about being a superhero and climbs onto my couch and launches himself off it like he’s trying to take flight. I was trying to get him to sit down but he’s just too fast and I was too confused like I just didn’t know what to do. He somehow even found my toothbrush and started banging it against the floor while yelling something about dragons or some shit. I genuinely considered calling my friend and telling her to come get him immediately. By the time my friend came back the place was a disaster and I was sweating like crazy and her kid was calmly eating crackers on the floor like nothing happened. I don’t know how parents do this every day.

tl:dr I watched my friend’s 5 year old, he turned my place upside down for hours and when she came back he was just quietly eating crackers like nothing happened

149
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Apprehensive-Note47 on 2025-07-25 09:21:24+00:00.


This happened last night and my ankle is currently fucked. I matched with this girl on tinder who is a bit adventurous and when we were planning a first date she suggested roller skating I don’t know why but instead of admitting I have the balance of a old man I said “yeah I love roller skating lets do it” I don’t know why I do this to myself. Fast forward to the rink she shows up and skating like a professional and I’m standing there trying to act like I know what I’m doing. The first five minutes were okay because we were just holding onto the rail and talking. But then she’s like “let’s go to the middle it’s easier there” so I let go of the rail and immediately my legs started shaking like they’re moving independently of my brain. She started laughing and trying to encourage me but then I hit this tiny little pebble or maybe a shadow lol and suddenly i started flying. I saw my life flash before my eyes before I slammed down hard on my left side. I tried to play it off like it didn’t hurt but my ankle was already fucked. She helped me to a bench and that’s when we both realized it was swelling fast so we ended the date early and she actually insisted on driving me to the ER herself which was very sweet but also very humiliating. While I was sitting there in the waiting room with an ice pack wrapped around my foot I was trying so hard not to look like I was in pain that I just pulled out my phone and started listening to calming music for pain relief on youtube to distract myself. Worst music ever but it kept me from focusing on the pain. Anyway now I’m officially the guy who lied about knowing how to skate, wiped out in front of a girl I like and spent the rest of the night in the ER.

TLDR: I pretended I knew how to roller skate on a Tinder date, wiped out in front of her and ended up in the ER with a fucked up ankle.

150
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/IndependentFee3611 on 2025-07-24 14:03:12+00:00.


This happened today and I’m still recovering from the cringe. I was chatting with a colleague on Microsoft Teams, venting about how drained I’ve been feeling lately. Meetings back to back, barely any time to actually get work done. I jokingly typed something like, “If I have to sit through one more ‘quick sync,’ I might actually fake a network issue and disappear.” Meant it as a joke, sort of.

Except I didn’t realize I had my manager’s chat open. Hit send. Immediate regret.

About 5 minutes later, she replied with a simple: “Let’s catch up after your next call.” I spent the next hour spiraling.

When we talked, she was surprisingly understanding. She said she noticed I’ve been a bit quiet and wanted to check if I was okay. I explained I didn’t mean any disrespect, I was just overwhelmed. She actually thanked me for being honest and said it might be time to rebalance the workload.

Still, I feel like an idiot. I keep replaying that moment in my head, wishing I could undo it. Definitely triple-checking every chat window from now on.

TL;DR: Meant to send a joking complaint about meetings to my coworker. Sent it to my manager instead. Had an awkward but surprisingly supportive follow-up conversation.

view more: ‹ prev next ›