Today I Fucked Up

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r/TIFU means Today I Fucked Up.

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This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/SonalBoiiACC on 2025-05-16 22:30:48+00:00.


So I have a cat. His name is Charlie. He’s playful, energetic, chaotic, and honestly acts like a cracked-out tiger with commitment issues. He flops on my bed every night, belly up, paws in the air, looking all cuddly like he wants affection. I fall for it. I rub his belly. Then he bites me like I just insulted his ancestors. Every. Time.

So I started jokingly suplexing him onto the bed or the couch during our play sessions. And I mean gently—I fully support his back, land him on soft surfaces, and only do it when he’s clearly in play mode (like chasing lasers, attacking pillows, or initiating cat jiu-jitsu on me). It became kind of our thing. Weird bonding, but it works.

Now here’s where I messed up.

We have a second cat named Momo. He’s the total opposite of Charlie—introverted, stoic, basically a loaf with legs. You could pick him up, flip him upside down, and he’d just blink like a sad philosopher. He never reacts to anything.

One day, Charlie and Momo were napping together on the couch. Everything was calm. I, being the fool I am, decided it would be funny to suplex Charlie mid-snuggle. He lands like a champ (as usual), but then— Momo. Freaking. Snaps.

This quiet little background character suddenly growls menacingly (for the first time in his LIFE), jumps up, and starts beating the hell out of Charlie after he just watched his blood brother get folded. He chased Charlie down to the basement while I stood there wheezing and wondering what dark spirit I had awakened.

TLDR; TIFU by suplexing my cat and accidentally triggering a silent-cat revenge arc that might’ve been building for years.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/onlyzarina on 2025-05-16 17:09:19+00:00.


This was last weekend and I still feel like absolute trash

We were hanging out at my buddy’s place for his birthday. Just a regular chill night with drinks pizza and games. One of our old high school friends came by too, I’ll call him Jake. Hadn’t seen him in a while but it was good to catch up

So back in high school Jake’s dad was kinda a running joke. Dude was always bailing on stuff and Jake himself used to clown on him more than any of us. Not a bad guy just super unreliable

Anyway we’re sitting around roasting each other like we always do and I go “at least my dad showed up to graduation… unlike Jake’s” thinking it was just a dumb throwback joke

And the whole room just goes quiet

Jake looks down and goes “yeah he passed away last week”

I wanted to disappear. I felt my whole body shut down. I started apologizing immediately and he said it was fine but you could tell it hit him. He dipped early and the mood never really came back after that

Texted him the next day and he said it was okay but I still feel like an asshole. I didn’t know. If I did I never would’ve said it

Still feel sick about it honestly

TL;DR made a joke about my friend’s unreliable dad and turns out his dad had just died. ruined the vibe and probably the whole night

753
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Wise_Needleworker790 on 2025-05-16 16:06:34+00:00.


This happened last night and I still can't decide if I should've said something different instead or if it's my cousin's fault

So I was at a big family dinner like cousins, aunts, grandparents the whole lineup. At some point my uncle asks what I’ve been up to lately, and I (as a joke) said, “Well, I made more money this week than I did in the last two months so it's been going great”. They know I'm doing good cuz I just bought a truck a month ago and I'm only 21.

Everyone congratulated me until my grandma asked me for details. I told her that I've been working very hard and have gotten lucky and I gave them a slight smirk which I totally regret (I got some freelancing projects but I couldn't go into every single detail lol). Then my cousin jumped in and said: 'he's probably doing drugs'. I immediately told them that it's not true, but some of them literally believed my cousin which is fucking crazy

Now some members of my family think I'm doing sketchy stuff which is not true at all but I guess the way that I said it can make people think of the opposite. I'm even thinking of confronting my cousin cuz why would he even say stuff like that. He is currently unemployed so maybe it's because of that I dont know

TL;DR: tifu my making my family think I'm drug dealing

754
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/kirbcheck on 2025-05-16 15:39:15+00:00.


In the grand scheme of things, probably not a huge deal, but I’m mortified.

It’s been a rough month at work. I’m (39M) stressed through the roof, not able to relax, etc. I’m getting ready to travel for work, wanting to look my best I decide to clean up the haircut.

I go to my normal Sports Clips, nothing fancy. Always get a cut and wash. Had a new gal cut my hair, she did a good job. She’s very personal, easy to talk to, easy to feel relaxed.

When the cut is done, she asks if I want a wash which I say I would and she takes me to the back to wash my hair. All normal so far.

I really enjoy the experience of a hot towel and a scalp massage and after a long day/week/month, it really hit the spot for a relaxing atmosphere. I didn’t mean for it to happen but halfway through when I really felt relaxed I let out an involuntary moan/sigh.

Her hands paused for a moment, I apologized and she went on with the wash silently. I swear I felt silent laughter as she finished up (my face was covered in a hot towel, so I couldn’t look, not that I could’ve looked her in the eye anyways).

She handed me a towel, I dried my hair, she combed it and I paid all in silence. I tipped her $10 for my awkward self and left.

Was it sexual? No. Do I think she thought it was? Yes. Should I avoid this place for the next 6 months? Maybe not but I will.

TL;DR I involuntarily moaned when the hairstylist washed my hair after a cut and now I won’t go back for awhile.

755
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Kitchen_Bluebird9181 on 2025-05-16 13:38:35+00:00.


Hi. All of this happened last night and I'm still not able to process it. I haven't told anyone about this (not even my friends).

So I (21M) have this cousin from my mom's side who lives in Vancouver. Never met the guy before yesterday because our families just never really connected or whatever.

Anyway, cousin Jake (not his real name) is in town for some work conference and decided to stop by for dinner. Nice to finally meet extended family right? Well no

We're all having this totally normal dinner, talking about Jake's job, my college and stuff. My dad likes to gamble a lot and seems like Jake is on the same boat so they started to talk about it right until my mom busts out the old photo albums and we're flipping through pics from before I was born.

I make some joke about how dad's mullet was a crime against humanity and Jake laughs and says "well at least your biological dad didn't give you the ginger gene like my side of the family". He was a funny guy so I thought he was just trolling me.

I literally couldn't breathe. My tension went so high and I got very very dizzy. The room literally froze. Jake looked confused and then horrified as he realized what he'd done. It was a fucking mess.

Turns out I'm fully adopted and everybody knows except me. I also felt really bad for the cousin because I know he didnt mean to say it because now my dad is very angry at him and I know its not my fault but it still kinda feels my fault I dont know why

I just don't know what to do I'm not being able to process this at all and it's a very hard thing. I'm thinking of trying to go and find out who my real parents are. I just don't know what to do

TL;DR: accidentally discovered I'm adopted

756
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Ok_Objective313 on 2025-05-16 02:43:36+00:00.


I was making a nice cup of cordial (concentrated juice for the Americans) this evening. I went to shake it as I always do only to realize my partner had only placed the cap on instead of screwing it on. I didn’t check and started shaking. The cap flew off and the cordial sprayed everywhere. The couch, the floor, and worst of all, my sleeping 7 month old kitten.

I froze, realizing what just happened. My kitten was obviously annoyed and ran across the room and started licking herself clean, as her brothers came to check on her. The cordial can’t be good for her with all the sugar so I grabbed her and had to bathe her.

It’s been about an hour since and I think she’s forgiven me. My partner laughed at us and apologized for the cap since she had forgotten to tighten it, and I laughed too. The kitten has forgiven me, and everything turned out ok. I just wish the poor little girl didn’t have to be woken abruptly, covered in juice, and surprise bathed all within 5 minutes. I will say she was the best behaved she’s ever been for a bath so I think she decided it was worth it to rid herself of the cordial.

The real kicker, apparently you don’t have to shake cordial before pouring it. Fml

TLDR; I shook a bottle of cordial without the lid on and covered my cat with it accidentally.

757
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Grimsterr on 2025-05-15 22:59:39+00:00.


Used to have one when I was a kid that I puttered all over the place with. I'm in my 50s now, and just randomly searched on FB marketplace to see what was out there. Saw a nice one and went and bought it. It has some pretty nice power, and seems like it'll be great to putter around the property on.

And then I was making a turn to cut between the workshop and the chicken pen, gave it too much gas in the turn and the front end popped up, I put my left foot down to try and jump off, then it twirled me a bit and I fell down, nearly doing the splits, right leg across the bike, left leg kinda behind me.

Then I tried to get up.

Anyway, long story short. Spiral fracture of the fibula, and I dislocated my ankle and broke 2 bones in it. Surgery is required.

TL;DR - Am old, bought mini-bike, broke leg and ankle.

758
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/PheonixGalaxy on 2025-05-15 21:57:33+00:00.


Link to original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/KVnn6ArsAm

I’m called the Jolly Green Giant because I’m big and very nice to everyone, so the fact that someone was racist to me pissed them off faster than I expected.

Before I start thank you to everyone for giving me your support! I woke up sick thanks to pollen and was already annoyed, so I was mad enough to be petty. I messaged our Black classmate and she recommended I tell the teacher immediately, but she appreciated me holding off because I didn’t want to leave her out. She hasn’t been to school in a few days, but she told me that when she comes back, she’ll go off on him. We’ll call my former friend “Ken.”

I spent my whole day being a professional hater. First, I contacted his sister I’ve had her info since freshman year, but we slowly stopped talking via text. Then I told all our mutuals. Keep in mind, I woke up early for this. All of them sided with me, and the one who was already on a short fuse with him was ready to chew him out. I also told the person Ken is afraid of our Black classmate who gives 0% tolerance if he says anything racist. As expected, she told another female classmate, and I confirmed everything in class when she asked me.

The reason I contacted Ken’s sister was for three reasons.

  1. So he couldn’t lie to her when he inevitably gets reported by me.

  2. Ken is very sensitive about his older sister and admitted to stabbing a guy’s hand in workshop class because someone insulted her. Hear me out culinary has a bunch of knives, and there’s a good chance he’d stab me. So I wanted a paper trail.

  3. She deserved to know.

I’m 6’2”, Ken is roughly 5’5”, and I’m double his weight so I refuse to fight someone if I have a physical advantage. I get even. His sister sincerely apologized on his behalf; it was a hell of a lot better than his.

During class, he walked up to me and said, “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean you specifically. Your-” I told him firmly, “Stop talking. I heard what you said. You’re making it worse.” I knew where he was going because my hand flinched hard which isn’t normal for me and I knew I might punch him. I wanted to say, “What they said about you was right,” just to mind-fuck him, but I just wanted to get out of there. I’ll be damned before I get called one of the good ones, and I felt it coming. I told the teacher in detail what happened. She was appalled and said she would talk to Ken.

My friend with the short fuse told me he wanted to cuss Ken out, but it wouldn’t help. He recommended I tell a security guard who’s bigger and taller than me I swear to God, he’s like a machine. He got mad and told me to report it to the principal, since the school doesn’t tolerate racism. So I emailed her (she was in back to back meetings I’ll link it in the comments), and she actually replied!

My mom fully supports me, but she said going to his sister was too much. I’ll admit it was petty, but I don’t feel bad since I haven’t stopped sneezing so he must be talking shit.

TL;DR: When I caught my friend being racist yesterday, I thought about it—and in one day, because he called me a “knuckle-dragging watermelon sucker,” I told his sister (who apologized on his behalf), all of our mutual friends and classmates, our teacher, the principal (pics in comments), and by extension, his parents. I also mentioned I feel my life is threatened based on him bragging about stabbing a guy. Most of what I’ve done will start affecting him now or tomorrow.

759
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Purple-Gate-3597 on 2025-05-15 14:56:07+00:00.


A few months ago, I launched my own company, sales and marketing consulting - and when I was picking out an office, I wanted somewhere that felt inspiring. Something that made it feel real. So I went a bit overboard and signed a 3-year lease on this beautiful penthouse unit downtown. Huge windows, skyline views, rooftop access, felt like the kind of place where big ideas happen. Figured it would help with motivation, hosting clients, etc.

And to be fair, for the first couple of months, it was amazing. I actually looked forward to going into work. But here’s where I messed up: I didn’t plan for growth properly.

Fast forward to now, 7 months in - and I’ve already outgrown the space. I started solo, but we’ve added a few people and suddenly it’s like playing Tetris with desks. I’ve got one guy working at the kitchen counter and another in a corner that technically might be a closet. We’re getting more business (which is great), but now I can’t hire who I need because I literally have nowhere to put them.

So I need a bigger office. Like, yesterday. But I’m locked into this damn 3-year lease on my "motivational views" and breaking it is either gonna cost me a fortune or just completely tank my cash flow. The landlord isn’t exactly rushing to let me out of it either, apparently “inspiring aesthetics” isn’t a valid clause for early termination.

Now I’m scrambling to figure out how to sublease or if I just eat the cost and move anyway. I feel like I created the most expensive LinkedIn background photo ever.

TL;DR: Rented a fancy penthouse office to feel like a boss, didn’t think I’d outgrow it in 7 months. Now I’m stuck in a 3-year lease with no room for new hires and nowhere to put them. Great views, terrible planning.

760
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/keiko17 on 2025-05-15 20:15:22+00:00.


To my coworkers: I am so sorry

I (24F) am a nursing student and I work with elderly people. During lunch with the residents we were talking about tv-shows.

The muppets were brought up and I couldn’t help myself. I blurted out: Manamana Tutuuutududu

Pt 1: manamana tutudutu

Pt2: manamana

Pt3. TUTUUTUDU

Pt4: Heheehehe

Coworker: looking at me with daggers in her eyes

Pt 5&6: manamana

Pt3. TUTUUTUDUDU

Coworker 2: guys please stop and eat your lunch

Pt4: hehehehe

After a while they were silent. And then one pt said “manamana” under his breath.

The chaos started again

Long story short: for the rest of the shift the residents continued to sing the muppet song.

Im pretty sure my coworkers are plotting my downfall now

TL;DR: sang the muppet song in front of a bunch of elderly people. They kept singing it, to great annoyance of me coworkers

761
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/DunnyScrubber95 on 2025-05-15 15:58:27+00:00.


I 29M recently started a new medication which was causing bloating and constipation. I went to a clinic nearby and saw a general practitioner and based on my medical history he recommended that I do a stool(poo) test. I’ve never done it before so had no clue how it worked and was a bit embarrassed, prior to my appointment I had to wait at the GP for about forty minutes because of delays I had parked my car a couple of streets away and had only one hour parking so was in a rush to move it.

My gut issues were also causing brain fog and anxiety and as a result I made a blunder and did not collect the stool sample kit. I was not even aware that I was supposed to do this and didn’t know what a stool sample kit was.

I managed to move my car on time without copping a fine and continued with my day. I made sure that I ate plenty of fruits and vegetables and drank lots of water.

The next morning I took a new 2L tupperware container and filled it with poo closed the lid, put the container in a paper bag and put in an envelope and drove to the laboratory, I went to the desk gave them the paperwork from the doctor and when asked for the sample took out the tupperware and kept it on desk. The attendant a lady in her late forties was shocked and had a look of horror on her face and said you are supposed to collect the sample kit from the lab and bring it back to us she showed me the sample kit and it was container size of my finger with a tiny spoon. I was standing there like an idiot with this tupperware full of poo, the attendant started laughing. I’ve never been more embarrassed in my life! but it gets worse as one of the lab assistants show up which turns out to be a girl from my crossfit class. As the attendant was trying to explain her what happened I stormed out.

I ended up submitting my sample at a location 20 km away from my house at a different branch and haven’t been to crossfit class for a week, I have this feeling that everyone knows and it’s driving me crazy.

TLDR; I was asked to do a stool test, did not collect the stool sample kit and submitted a kilogram of poo in a 2 litre tupperware container.

762
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/biznissethicz on 2025-05-15 12:24:56+00:00.


This isn’t as much a solely “I” fucked up but a “We” fucked up.

A few days ago I had to get on a really early morning meeting with a team my office works with in a different time zone and country. Roughly about 10-12 people from my team, and another 30 from the other team so, big crowd.

Of the 40 some people on the call, there’s only a few on camera, one of those being those “look at me” kiss-up types. I try to be nice and respectful to everyone but she makes that…very difficult. I also don’t think she particularly likes me after this week.

Given that I am not a morning person in the slightest and it’s 5 something in the morning I’m like half listening while trying to wake up and get ready and honestly only there for the 3-4 minutes I have to speak.

At one point, a question came up and it was something my boss was specifically going to speak to and had mentioned to call him in when we got to that topic.

For some context… my boss (M) and I (F) are both fairly new to the company and we started within about a month of each other. We are also about the same age, both engaged, and he also formerly worked with my husband (actually one of the reasons I took the job is because my husband liked working with him). So, we were already pretty cordial and work well together. But… it’s always been very professional.

When he jumped on, he was all energetic and excited and I was thinking “no idea how these morning people do it” and it reminded me of my fiancé who calls me in the morning all excited like that. Being that I’m in cruise control, I had kind of in my brain aligned it with actually talking to my fiancé over the call instead of my boss and went into conversation mode instead of professional mode.

When he was jumping off the call, just out of instinct, instead of saying “thank you for joining” or whatever I said “I love you, babe”. I totally didn’t even realize I said it until HE said “Thanks, love you too, take care” in what was clearly one of those reactive knee-jerk reactions out of confusion.

I was SO embarrassed but he was even more embarrassed than I was and he apologized profusely. Most of the people laughed it off and were like “it happens” or made a quick joke of it. The only person that didn’t think that was funny was miss camera on.

The next day when we were actually in office, HR calls us in for a sit-down. Apparently, an “unnamed source” alleged that they put “two and two together”. And created this entire theory and evidence that we were, in fact, engaged and this particular person not only cited that this was against company policy, but stated they were “deeply appalled” by our “lack of professionalism”. Like what?? lol

The wildest thing is this person went DEEP looking into stuff. They went as far as pointing out we often arrive at the same time, have a vacation that lines up, we started at the same time, and we are often “alone” in each others offices.

HR didn’t take it serious and just had to verify but that unfortunately didn’t stop this person from attempting to spread that rumor around the office.

TLDR: my tired brain made me accidentally tell my boss I love him on a conference call, which confused him and he told me loved me too. In response to what was a funny mistake, a disgruntled coworker complained to HR and spread a rumor that my boss and I are engaged with a bunch of weird details that sounds like the plot for an episode of the office.

763
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Zakkattack86 on 2025-05-15 12:01:51+00:00.


Most of us have a name for our spouse or significant other. Playing with Siri one day, I changed my wife's name on my phone to "Tits McGee" and never bothered to change it back. Obviously, when you change the name of someone on your phone, that name is associated with all the contact information for that person. So even though my wife's name isn't a part of her email address, every time I'd email her, the name shown would be "Tits McGee".

For 14 years, I thought I was the only one that saw that. However, every email I've ever sent that had my wife copied on, the recipient saw "Tits McGee". EVERY. FUCKING. EMAIL. Including our daycare center.

I'd like to thank the wonderful team at Chuck E. Cheese event planning for pointing this information out to me in an extremely professional manner.

TLDR; I thought I was the only one that saw my wife's contact info as "Tits McGee" when emailing literally everyone for 14 years.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/onlyzarina on 2025-05-15 11:32:05+00:00.


This was literally last week and I’m still trying to pretend it didn’t happen

So I got hired for a remote role, first day was one of those group onboarding Zoom calls. Like 12 new hires and two HR people walking us through systems and policies and all that. I’m sitting at my desk in pajama shorts and a hoodie, still half asleep, camera off… or so I thought

They’re talking about company values or whatever and I kinda zone out and start eating cold leftover spaghetti straight from the container. No fork. Just caveman-ing it with my hands. I thought I was invisible. I was not.

Mid-slurp I hear, “Uh… Zack?" I think your camera’s on.”

I look up and see my own greasy little face just chomping away in full gallery view. Spaghetti hand. Hoodie hood halfway over one eye. Like a cryptid caught on film.

I panicked, slammed my laptop shut like that would reverse time or something. Reopened it, turned camera off, tried to act like my connection had dropped. Nobody said anything else but I know they saw. Chat was too quiet after that.

So yeah, pretty sure my first impression at this job is “guy who eats spaghetti with his hands at 9AM on a Monday”

TL;DR Thought my camera was off during remote onboarding, ate cold spaghetti with my hands, it very much was not off

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/outdoorenthusiast1 on 2025-05-14 21:34:45+00:00.


I lost a customer because of what happened. I'm pretty short fused in my personal life but always try to be professional with customers. Basically I received a call and was mid scheduling with the customer, then my phone's signal completely dropped because that happens for some mysterious reason.

Without thinking I screamed "f****** h***" at full volume, I guess thinking I was in the clear to let out some internal steam because the signal was gone and they couldn't hear me. Apparently the call hadn't completely dropped because about 5 seconds later the signal bars came back and then I could hear the customer gasp and say that they were done talking, oops...

I had no idea that it's possible for audio to be captured and then transmitted after the signal is restored. This is on Google Voice if anyone is interested, not the phone's native sim number, so that might have something to do with it.

TL;DR: I screamed into the phone when I thought someone couldn't hear me but they did.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/angelabirkin on 2025-05-14 21:59:51+00:00.


So this happened yesterday. I (18F) was walking through campus on my way to class when I saw a guy smiling and waving in my direction. I didn’t recognize him, but I panicked - maybe we had a class together? Maybe I forgot his name? I smiled big, waved back, really enthusiastically.

Turns out… he was waving at the girl walking right behind me.

I realized it mid-wave, but instead of just pretending I was fixing my hair or something normal, I committed. I walked up to him and said,

“Hey! How’s it going?”

He looked confused as hell and went,

“…Do I know you?”

So I panicked again and said,

“Oh sorry, I thought you were someone else”

and then speed-walked away… past both of them… and tripped on the sidewalk.

Still thinking about it.

TL;DR: I waved at a guy who wasn’t waving at me, tried to play it cool, made it worse, and ended up humiliating myself in front of two strangers.

767
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/This-Knowledge9102 on 2025-05-14 18:15:37+00:00.


(TMI warning, puke)I was bored and mid 4 hour study session when I suddenly realised idk how it feels to be choked, don’t know why I wanted to know, I’m simply a stupid fuck. So I put my hands around my neck and start choking myself, felt how you’d expect it to feel, I continued out of curiosity and I start needing to breathe (obviously, what did I think was going to happen?) I don’t let go and suddenly A HUGE water fall of puke just shoots out of my mouth, onto my notes and my WHOLE LAPTOP SCREEN.The contents of my stomach,aka the huge cup of coffee I had recently downed goes all over my laptop, myself and my book, when I tell you, that was the moment I truly realised I lack common sense. That was by far the most embarrassing and shameful thing I’ve done in 2025.

TL;DR I choked myself and puked all over my notes and laptop, disgusting and shameful.

768
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/PheonixGalaxy on 2025-05-14 18:22:21+00:00.


I don't mean haha dark humor racist I mean a racist that tries to mask it as a joke so they can speak freely. I can handle a racist joke if it's actually funny and creative but its rare. And the friend shares the class with me.

Sorry if I'm rambling I'm so upset right now.

17M, I'm a culinary student, my culinary teacher had over 20 baskets of strawberries left over. Going to be honest, I was having a shit week due to the pressure of college and wanted to make at least one persons day better so, I took one basket with the intention of handing them out at lunch to be nice. As I was handing it out at lunch, got the underclassmen to smile, and It cheered me up. I went over to my “friends” table. I hear him m making awful comments as black people and saying slurs, I will not repeat them here. He was so invested he didn't see me walking up to the table to offer the strawberries to the table. I am black, normally his”jokes” are implied or you fill in the blank. I let those slide because I didn't think he could be that awful. Think extremely corny and dry.

He finally saw me and gets nervous as he didnt expect me, but then the bastard doubles down. “it doesn't count since I didn't say it around them!”, "Its not racist to say words if its in private" and another dude I genuinely respected said “oh like er?”. this was unprompted. I would have let it slide if it didn't come out so naturally. I can tell if you say it in private just from how it sounds, if you say it a lot it has a type of “flow” to it. I tried to laugh it off but I just shook my head and walked off. He tried to tell me “cmon OP you know I was joking!”

I handed the last of the remaining strawberries to my economics teacher. The other friend who I lost respect for was very quiet in class. Normally we would chat and he would hype me up on assignments.

The racist friend who was making the jokes had a history of being called creepy but in my attempt to get along with every one of my peers I kept them in mind but still interacted with him. I couldnt fit it all his allegations and things he admitted on one post without lengthening it. i feel like an idiot for feeling bad for him, normally share reels with each other and when he was going through a break up I went out of my way to make sure there wasn't a couple in it. I never dated before so I thought it was an appropriate action.

Just to find out from a mutual that his version of the breakup wasn't true, my "friend" ranted to the mutual about relationship issues and when the girl found out she broke up with him, the mutual told me that he called her out of her name multiple times and thought she was cheating with her lesbian friend, he was being insecure, that's why. Now I'm ghosting him on Instagram and am short with him in class but he hasn't noticed. The mutual is cutting contact and so will I.

I swear Virginia has been the most racist place I ever lived, you think you know a guy. TLDR was handing out strawberries at lunch and caught my friend being racist.

769
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Accomplished-Fix1204 on 2025-05-14 15:59:36+00:00.


Last night my boyfriend and I were watching a movie on the couch and we were both pretty tired. I was laying across the couch with my head on his lap. Sometime during the movie I ended up knocking out. I was woken up by the foulest thing I’ve ever smelled. The fart itself was pretty quiet but it was almost like the smell came first then the sound. Sometimes I sleep with my mouth open… allergies, and I tasted it in my mouth somehow!

I shot right up and started coughing. I went to yell at my boyfriend for ripping ass right near my face and he turns out he was knocked out too. He definitely heard about this in detail once he woke up. I learned my lesson about sleeping on his lap, all trust has been broken, and my eyes still sting a little. Yes I blame him even though he was asleep, because why did it have to stink so bad. My FU was putting my life in his hands 💔

TL;DR Fell asleep with my head in my boyfriend’s lap and he passed gas in my face.

770
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/GuyFromPlaces on 2025-05-14 13:41:07+00:00.


My father and I worked together in our industry. He’s been there over 45 years and retired while I’ve been there 7. We work in an assigned territory and when he retired I was supposed to absorb his territory. He and I work/worked for a billion dollar company.

Well, I did take over but by chance I found out I wasn’t getting paid for it. All the work got shifted to me but the pay did not. I asked my boss what was going on and he told me it was getting sorted next week.

I was pissed cause I’d been doing extra work in that territory anyway with an understanding that I would inherit it and the commission related to the territory was going to my retired father, who wasn’t getting a check anymore. So the company was just absorbing it to the tune of about $7,000-$8000 and not telling me.

I told my dad about it cause we are close and he’s my dad. I told him not to do anything but he was too upset that they weren’t going what was promised. It’s been a long standing agreement that me, my father, and my direct boss all knew about and it wasn’t being handled as promised. I was actually hired because someone needed to take over what my father was doing because he is in the top 0.1% of his field and they had no replacement for him once he retired SO they’d lose all market share in an entire state of the US.

My dad emailed the president and “burned that bridge” cause he was “sick of these sick games” because they were playing with my income. I have a wife, kid, and we are buying a house so my dad cares because he thought he was helping me secure a great career.

Now, I’m getting stonewalled on random stuff by my company, my boss is threatening to quit, and I don’t know if I’ll have a job in a week. Also likely an issue that could only occur in the USA.

TL;DR I told my dad about an issue at work concerning about $8000 missing commission. He emailed the president and now idk if I will keep my job.

771
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/sophialike on 2025-05-14 10:53:15+00:00.


So this happened today while working from home. We had our usual Monday Zoom call nothing too serious, just team check-ins. I had my noise-canceling headphones on and figured I was muted. I wasn’t presenting or talking, so I turned off my camera and decided to quickly run to the bathroom while still listening in.

All was fine until I flushed. And in that surreal moment, I heard my manager pause mid-sentence and say “Uh did someone just flush a toilet?”

That’s when I realized my mic icon was glowing green. My soul left my body.

Another teammate chimed in with “Yeah we all heard that.”

Panic kicked in and the only thing I could blurt out was “Well, at least you know I wash my hands.”

Everyone laughed, which saved me from immediate death, but I will now triple-check that mute button for the rest of my career.

TL;DR: Went to the bathroom thinking I was muted on Zoom. I wasn’t. Entire team heard me flush. Said something dumb to save face. Died a little inside.

772
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Cute_Onion88 on 2025-05-14 06:43:27+00:00.


My dad passed away a few months ago. I was really close to him and I miss him a lot.

My Dad had quite a few tattoos but one of them I remember dearly. It was this pinup style tattoo of a lady in a hawaiian skirt and coconut bra on his calf. I always liked that tattoo, even though it was pretty badly done.

Most of the color vanished over the years and I remember our dad letting us color in the tattoo with markers when he wanted to take a nap and keep us busy.

My mom always disapproved and I never understood why (until now).

One day, about two weeks after he passed away I was walking around the city and came by a tattoo shop. One thing led to another and I walked out of that shop with the same tattoo my dad had - the lady with the coconut bra. The artist did a great job at recreating the tattoo and I was very happy. Until I got home and wanted to show my mom.

My aunt was there (my dads sister) and started laughing like crazy. My mom looked quite shocked. Not the reaction I was expecting at all. I didn't understand what's happening until my aunt told me "Well, now you've got your mom on you forever. In a skimpy outfit. Great choice!"

Well long story short: My dad got this tattoo about a year after they started dating. She wore this outfit to a party, took a photo and he got it tattooed a few weeks after. Great, fucking great. I was a bit confused because my mom has always had blonde hair - the tattoo lady's got black hair. But apparently she had a short phase of dying her hair black for a few months.

My mom always hated that tattoo, they almost broke up because of it back then. She made him swear that he's never gonna tell anyone the story behind that tattoo. Hence why I don't know anything about it - and I never asked.

I thought this was just a random tattoo he got on one of his many vacations. Well - now I have a tattoo of my mom in a coconut bra. Great.

My mom told me she doesn't mind and that it's kinda funny now. But I'm really thinking of getting it removed. At least its on my ribcage so I can hide it for the time being. I really don't want to show the world my mom in a bikini.

TL;DR: My dad passed away and I went and got a tattoo he had. Turns out the lady on the tattoo is my mom in a bikini.

773
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/bug_mortuary on 2025-05-14 00:55:12+00:00.


I (16m) have some unconventional hobbies. Including taxidermy and collecting specimens for my own personal collection. I think it’s neat, no I’m not a serial killer. I love biology and zoology, this is an extension of that.

Anyway this whole thing started when I, a week ago, had some money to spend. Naturally I buy an octopus and frog wet specimen off of Etsy. Was pestered by my mother multiple times about if I’d gotten the information right, and I was confident I had because the information autofilled with my card info and surely my card info had to be right? I never actually checked the address though, I now realize.

Apparently not. I was getting annoyed cause this was a really anticipated thing for me, and the package said it delivered but never showed up. I chalked it up to USPS messing up. Was fully ready to complain after the package still didn’t arrive today, when my mother noticed that the USPS app hadn’t notified her about anything coming or going through.

So after a mildly frustrating goose chase of figuring out which neighbor id sent it to with google maps, it turns out it went to our neighbors across the street who we don’t know whatsoever. I’m currently shaking in my boots thinking about showing up at their door, some emo teenager, and confessing that the dead things they got in the mail were actually mine.

I’m praying that they didn’t open the packages, I really don’t want them thinking this is a modern day version of the biblical plagues or that they’re being very creatively threatened. Might update with how that interaction goes, they aren’t home yet.

TL;DR: I sent multiple dead animals in the mail to my neighbors, who I don’t know and have never interacted with once in my life.

774
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Wishiwasgoodatthis on 2025-05-13 22:15:59+00:00.


Me 33 and my boyfriend 36 has been together for around 2.5years. Last weekend I was out with a girlfriend and it got a bit more boozy then planned. We had a great time and while waiting for her cab-ride home we met a guy. We started talking to him. Im not usually a very talkative person but at this levele of alkohol i do get more talkative. I was not flirting, its just a happy and friendly state. But when my friend left in the taxi he pushed me toward a wall, started groping me and trying to kiss me. I averted him and tried pushing him away saying "no" and "i don't want to, please let me go". I was able to struggle free and run away, catching the next subway home. Once home I broke down. Telling him how scared I got and what happened.

Well, he got mad at me. Telling me I cheated on him and that I am an attentionseeker. Asking me what I told the guy, how I acted towards him. How he could possibly get close enough to do all those things if I didn't want it. How could I let this happen and how immature I am getting that drunk at "my age".

Nothing REALLY bad happened, I was able to get out before he was able to do anything more then what could happen standing in a crowded concert really.. but it left me feeling sad and I couldn't shake the smell of him the days after. I thought I could still smell him on me eventhough I showered multiple times and it made me sick.

But I feel myself questioning if I did something wrong. Why did I have to talk to him when he approached us? Why didn't I get in the cab with my friend instead of taking the subway? And why the fuck is my boyfriend acting like this?

TL;DR my boyfriend thinks it was cheating when a dude groped me without concent.

775
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/FunkThisYouWookie on 2025-05-13 21:20:22+00:00.


I was having a phone conversation with a colleague who I'm really casual with. Like we talk shit and gossip and all that. Anyway, at this time we were talking about a work thing. The VP came up in conversation and the colleague said "VP is a dick, right?!" And I said "Uh. yeah. He can be hard to work with." TBH I don't even know why I said it. I haven't even really worked with this VP. I'm horrible on picking up jokes/sarcasm and was just caught off guard, I guess. Idk.

Colleague laughs. I say Just kidding. Colleague says he's standing right here.

Honestly, I don’t remember for sure if I said Just kidding before or after he said the VP heard. My brain may just be trying to make me feel better.

TL;DR colleague says VP is a dick over the phone and I agree unknowing that I was on speaker and VP heard

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