Today I Fucked Up

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/thewuzfuz on 2025-05-29 12:44:56+00:00.

This happened a few years back, and it still haunts me. I went to a local bar/grill. As the hostess seated me, she asked if she could get me a drink. I said yes, and she asked for my ID. This is where I effed up.

I should note, I'm 6'6, and a big guy with a beard. She was a petite 21 year-old.

I pulled out my ID. It was a horrid Pic- I have on an orange shirt, and I was too tall for the cera, so I'm looking down at a weird angle. I looked like a creeper, and in the orange shirt, a convict. So as I had her my ID I say "Laugh it up, it makes me look like a serial predator."

In good humor she says "Well, mine makes me look like a 14-year old girl.

'Well, that's perfect," I say, "They'll have pictures to use for both of us when you go missing." One of those moments where I was trying to be funny, but as soon as the words were out of my mouth I instantly wanted them back.

She gave a very awkward laugh and I never saw her again. Didn't get that drink I ordered, either.

TL;DR: Trying to be funny when asked for my ID, ended up being creepy and implying I had a thing for 14 year-old girls instead.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Admirable-Patience55 on 2025-05-29 08:55:29+00:00.

First time homeowners, but I still can’t believe I overlooked this.

It’s our second night sleeping in our condo and I’m just now realizing our bedroom window is right next to the dumpster.

We love sleeping with the window open and feeling the crisp air… but I noticed a bad smell tonight. I looked everywhere and couldn’t figure it out. Then after hours thinking I was imagining it, I looked outside our bedroom window and looked down (our condo is on the second story) and realized the dumpster is right outside our bedroom window.

I really messed up overlooking this. Now I can’t sleep… like I can’t stop thinking about the fact that I’m smelling the neighborhood trash pile outside. It’s not just the bedroom either, it’s the entire apartment. I do have a sensitive sense of smell, but my partner can also smell it in our room.

We’re in LA County, so our tiny condo wasn’t cheap and it was an uphill battle to get it after all the fires everywhere here. So we’re locked in for a good while.

How could I have not noticed this? I don’t think it smelled before. Crossing my fingers that someone just threw away something extra stinky tonight and that this isn’t the norm. 😩

TLDR - Today I fucked up by buying an apartment with a stinky dumpster right outside my bedroom window that stinks up the place.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/wildflowerxoxoxo on 2025-05-29 06:21:31+00:00.

I had an important exam today, I have been studying for this exam for over 8 months now, I have spent more than $1500 on registrations and signing up for exam and another $600 on prep materials alone.

I was studying all night, I slept for a while, and missed all my alarms, I knew I wouldn't make it on time, I ran a little, took subway/metro in my country and took a cab and ran again but I was late by 10mins.

Just 10mins costed my entire career now, I'm in no state to afford to take that exam again, it will be marked as fail even though I didn't sit and have to re-register the entire process. So I don't think I'll be able to take that exam anytime soon. No dates available to take that exam for atleast 5months.

I haven't said anything to anyone, I had a panic attack in washroom, stayed there for almost 2 hours and then, I took myself on a date to nearby museum, went to taco bell, I know don't judge me please. Came back home still haven't accepted the fact that my entire year hardwork, I blew it in air for being 10mins late because I overslept.

I messed up my chance of moving to different country for higher education. I can't do this mentally too, I have been struggling with depression for almost 6 year and have kept it hidden from everyone.I don't enough mental strength to take this exam again and I don't even know what to tell my parents(I'm Asian). My older sibling are in Ivy league for masters and I was to join them in the country. I know they won't say anything but I can already feel their disappointment. I was straight As student but fell into depression and started having anxiety and have ended up with mediocre grades. This exam was to redeem myself but yeah, I fucked up big time. Writing this here because I still don't have courage to call anyone and tell them without having a breakdown.

TL:DR I bombed an important exam, overslept, was late by 10mins, had to redeem myself but I messed up.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/musicandstuffco on 2025-05-29 03:26:26+00:00.

Small TIFU I guess.

I spent most of my day fixing some plumbing issues, was exhausted. Since I have no sink at the moment decided to order food from DoorDash, which I usually avoid to. Because I will have no sink tomorrow either, I decide to order double so we can have lunch too.

My husband was talking to me while I ordered, so was not paying attention. Turned out that the last time I ordered I had a cake delivered to a bar/ restaurant we go on Fridays with friends. and doordash used that address. The bar happens to be one block from the place I ordered.

So I get the message the food was delivered, went to the door and... nothing. Came back to my computer to look at wtf happened. On the tracking I see the food was delivered at the next town, same as the sandwich shop. Sigh! Realized what happened.

I call the bar and sure enough they were trying to find the owner of the food. They know me there (my face), but not necessarily my full name. So they are puzzled too.

I considered just telling them to give it to someone, but this was a $72 order total. So I drive to the bar, about 15 min away, to get the food they did not cook and I just paid more for and tipped to be delivered.

TLDR: Ordered food because I was very tired, did not notice the wrong address in the order which happened to be another restaurant one block away from the sandwich shop , had to drive to pick it up anyway.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Salty_Macaron_1994 on 2025-05-29 05:09:58+00:00.

So today I’m (42F) staying about 3 hours from home on a work trip, and the hotel I booked last minute after checking reviews that said it was good, was really not. The room smells like athletes foot funk. It’s literally the only room and I had to prepay. Ok, cool. There’s a clean bed and I’m tired.

So I run to Walmart to grab a couple things mainly being febreeze and when I come back and park at the hotel, there is now a random case of Bud Light and a travel mug beside my car where there wasn’t when I had left. So, I assume it’s someone in their car. No big deal. Until when the dude says “oh, hey, l hope I didn’t startle ya” as he walks out from beside his tall ass truck, and in return, my dumbass decides to blurt out “damn, and here I thought I was gonna make off with a free case of beer!” Cue the laughter from dude and he hands one my direction and asks if I want one. So my spastic brain decides to ACCEPT THE BEER. Insert facepalm here. My brain also was simultaneously screaming WTTTTHHHHHFFFFFF as I casually said thanks bro, made my night. Lime, WTF?! I’m the most introvert and this is the best that my brain soup can come up with, and literally I’m Sligo g lines like I have never experienced crippling social anxiety.

So I don’t think anything of it, just some random dude sharing beer. Then, as I turn the corner as we go in the main entry, he turns back and asks “oh, I suppose I should give you two.” Now, if everything I had already said out of character was bizarrely out of character, my brain had one more in me that was cosmically ooc - “Nah, one will put me out like a light. Thanks again, man.”

Now, when I shut the door to my room behind me, I didn’t think anything of it. Popped it and had a lil bit. About three swigs in, it hit me- he was offering two for if I had a man along.

While I know that this dude is most likely harmless, I’m laying here awake making a post on Reddit, finding it hard to shake that weird feeling that comes with knowing some rando 3 doors down knows I’m all alone at a dead end road motel on a bay. I suppose I’ve watched way too many horror flicks but I still can’t help but feel like an idiot for my brain awkwardly speaking out of turn from nervousness. I also can’t help but feel like maybe this isn’t the best hotel to sleep with earplugs at as well. It’s a family run joint in the boonies of a popular, yet rural, tourist city. Could use a lot of upkeep, especially on the quality of door locks!

TL;DR my neurodivergent self awkwardly accepted a beer from a random dude and in the processes of the ensuing awkward conversation I realized my responses confirmed I was traveling alone, all at a janky hotel in the sticks and his room down my hall).

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Additional_Hold_7713 on 2025-05-29 00:09:48+00:00.

I think I fucked up, I had to return something to Costco and then come home. But once I returned the item I had to grab a 1.50 hot dog and soda. Then I decided to eat the hot dog and walk around the store. As many of you know you can’t just go to Costco and not buy anything am I think this is the point where I fucked up. I started walking around and they had everything that I needed at least that’s how my brain is now wired to think.

I had to go get a cart my brain was running like crazy. Did I need a new hose and hose reel no but did the price look great 100%, did the kids need a dragon water slide 100% no but damned if I’m bit going to have the dragon water slide. Did I need 10 pounds of short ribs nope, I still have some in the freezer o but I got them.

For those that haven’t been to Costco you get swept up in a sense of euphoria while walking around and looking and bulk items and slightly cheaper items around the middle it’s fantastic.

I was supposed to be returning one item and coming home and I ended up spending a few hundred dollars I didn’t need to spend. I didn’t realize I fucked up until I got home and my wife gave me the wtf look, also as in typing this I think I fucked up again, the dragon water slide is going to kill my lawn when I set it up. So yeah I fucked up.

I will not learn from this but I’ll try to be better

TL;DR: Next time I’m going without my wallet or maybe bringing my wife this can’t keep happening.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/DefiantPrune4627 on 2025-05-28 18:55:58+00:00.

I’ve been trying really hard to stick to a budget lately. Like actually tracking what I spend, cutting back on dumb little purchases, saying no to going out, all that. One of the things I decided to cut was the $30 I usually spend on getting a simple haircut.

I figured, how hard can it be? It’s just clippers and some blending, right?

So I buy this $20 haircut kit off Amazon, watch like three YouTube videos, and tell myself “you got this.” I go into my bathroom, clipper in hand, and within five minutes I’ve somehow managed to give myself a crooked undercut that looks like I lost a bet.

I try to fix it. Big mistake. Now I’ve got one side that’s way shorter than the other and some weird patch in the back I can’t even see but I felt it go wrong. I even called my roommate in for backup and the second he looked at me, he just went “oh no.”

I had to wear a beanie all day in 80 degree weather because I had a Zoom call and couldn’t risk showing up like a rejected Sims character.

So yeah. TIFU by trying to save money and now I either have to pay someone more to fix this mess or just embrace looking like an NPC until it grows out.

10/10 would not recommend DIY haircuts unless you hate yourself a little.

Tl;dr Tried starting saving some money on haircuts and now I look like a GTA San Andreas character

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/GladObject2962 on 2025-05-28 13:15:30+00:00.

So about a week or so ago, I was casually scrolling through Taobao and thought, “Hey, why not give this a shot?” I’ve been toying with the idea of picking up leatherworking as a hobby, so I figured I’d order some tools and faux leather to see what the quality was like. Harmless enough, right?

Well... not exactly.

As you might guess, navigating a site that's half in Chinese didn’t exactly make things easy—especially when it came to understanding the sizing of the materials. The product title said “138cm,” so naturally, I assumed each piece of faux leather I ordered was a nice, neat 138cm square.

Oh, boy was i wrong.

Turns out, the 138cm was just the width. The length? A casual, totally reasonable 36 METERS. And because I ordered three different colours for practice, I am now the proud soon-to-be owner of 108 meters of faux leather.

So yeah. My house is about to become a faux leather warehouse. Anyone need a couch reupholstered?

TL;DR: Tried to buy a few practice sheets of faux leather from Taobao for a new leatherworking hobby. Misread the sizing due to translation issues and accidentally ordered 108 meters of it. Oops

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Pietzki on 2025-05-28 15:45:59+00:00.

I read my first TIFU story today. I guess the algorithm just randomly decided to serve one, despite the fact I don't even follow the sub. I was mildly interested at first, and quickly became engrossed.

Then I read another one. My interest was truly piqued.

And then one more.

I soon realised, they almost exclusively followed the EXACT same pattern. The length, the buildup, the tone, the voice. The grammar and punctuation are almost identical. They even all capitalise one or two words in the third or fourth paragraph... To top it all off, even the variation in sentence length shares a recognisable pattern. I was shocked!

Now here comes the telling part: once you check OP's account, their profile is usually less than 30 days old and there are no other posts — at least nothing significant (or it has all been deleted).

And now, I can't read any more TIFU stories, because they all seem generic, and I can't trust that they're real. For illustration purposes, this post is an attempt to write in the same style.

TL;DR: TIFU by realising most stories on this sub are generic AI slop, and now I have completely lost interest in this sub and can't stop questioning all content on Reddit.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/trick_tickler on 2025-05-28 15:04:45+00:00.

My husband and I took in a stray cat and her three kittens yesterday. They were living under our house and I’ve been feeding them for weeks, trying to get them used to me. My intention is to take them to our local TNR place and have mom and babies spayed/neutered and vaccinated, and then try to find homes for them all. Yesterday we finally hit the sweet spot of socialization, and I was able to get all four of them inside in our spare room. They all got flea baths, I had them set up with food, water, plenty of toys, and a nice litter box. The babies understood the purpose of the litter box immediately, but I guess mama got a bit confused and had an accident.

We have a wicker storage bench in the spare room with a cushion that sits on top, and she unfortunately peed on it overnight, despite there being a clean litter box in the room with her. The cushion did not have any removable cover or anything, so I figured it would be okay to wash the whole thing. I was sorely mistaken. I went to check the washer about an hour ago and the cushion literally exploded.

Picture of my FU: https://imgur.com/a/9yCniMX

I scooped it all out by hand and it filled up two entire trash bags. I’m very worried that I may have ruined my washer. Cross your fingers for me 😂

TL;DR: I machine washed a cushion that should NOT have been machine washed. May have ruined our washer.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Salt-Guitar-8448 on 2025-05-28 10:47:55+00:00.

I (30M) recently went on a first date with someone amazing, funny, smart, gorgeous. Before meeting up, I made a “healthy” choice and drank some detox tea my roommate left in the cabinet. Figured it might help with the bloating from pizza the night before.

Mistake.

We met for lunch at a cozy little Italian spot. Everything was going great until my stomach made the noise. You know the one. The “countdown to disaster” rumble.

I excused myself politely. One trip. Then another. Then three more within an hour. She asked if I was okay and I blurted out, “Yeah I’m just... allergic to oregano.”

WHO says that?

By the end, I had made seven bathroom trips, she looked horrified, and I was sweating like I’d run a marathon. The date ended with a pity hug and “feel better!”

TL;DR: Drank detox tea before a first date, ended up sprinting to the bathroom multiple times and inventing a fake oregano allergy to explain it. Pretty sure I’ll never hear from her again.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Maximum_Pace_1871 on 2025-05-28 10:45:10+00:00.

My girlfriend (25F) invited me to her big family dinner and warned me in advance that her grandma is 93, hard of hearing, and loves asking people what’s in the food. She told me to just smile and repeat things if needed.

We were having lasagna and Grandma kept asking, “What’s this?” over and over again. Eventually, I tried to be funny and said jokingly, “Shut up and eat it, Grandma.”

The table. Went. Silent.

Apparently she’s not that hard of hearing.

And apparently “shut up” is a HUGE deal in their family. Her mom gasped. Her uncle choked on a breadstick. Grandma blinked and muttered, “Well I never,” and refused to eat another bite.

I apologized profusely but it was rough. My girlfriend didn’t talk to me the entire drive home.

TL;DR: Tried to make a sarcastic joke at dinner with my girlfriend’s family, told her grandma to “shut up and eat it,” and now I’m probably banned from all future family functions.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/NoAmphibian5761 on 2025-05-28 09:08:10+00:00.

yeah. you read that right. Well there is no way in hell anyone in my personal life can know this story, but i need to share it somewhere.

So i took my permit test online, which somehow made the situation worse. Before I started the test they asked for access on my camera and microphone….midway through the test I realize how BADLY i need to go to the bathroom. I had just come home from 7 hours at school in which I did not go to the bathroom so it was one of those ‘i need to pee’ moments. With a laptop in my hand, i start panicking, i stand up and speed walk in circles around the room and then i see a message on my screen that read something along the lines of, “We are detecting too much movement on your camera” and then something about how that breaks the rules and if i keep going, i’ll be kicked out for “cheating”

This makes me panic even more but I sit still to avoid getting kicked out. That was my mistake..the second i stopped moving my body gave up on me, and it started. And when it started, i couldn’t stop it. I immediately start awkwardly walking to the bathroom while trying to stop the pee, not activate the camera movement, and also look like nothings going on cuz they can freaking see me in my camera.

I place my laptop on the counter and then sit on the toilet to pee and with all the internal chaos i forgot my MICROPHONE WAS ON AND CANT BE TURNED OFF. that’s when a new message popped up about how my microphone is making too much noise and i might get kicked out. so then i start trying to pee in segments, probably making things worse. Thankfully, it ends at some point leaving me sitting on the toilet finishing my test.

TL;DR I passed the test while sitting on the toilet with peed pants at my feet. As far as i know there was some poor DMV worker who monitors those tests see me run around my room, pee my pants, realize this, go to the bathroom, and then heard me trying to pee discretely with a series of whispered, “what the fucking shit what the hell.” At some point i think i started apologizing to my screen and sat in my shame.

I guess I’ll never know how many ppl were on the other side of that permit test but i hope it gave them a good laugh.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/justalittlelady_ on 2025-05-28 07:10:17+00:00.

So this just happened like 3 hours ago and I’m still trying to process wtf I did.

Met this super sweet guy on Hinge, we’ve been vibing for like 2 weeks, all cute and flirty but nothing too crazy. Finally decided to meet IRL. Plan: coffee date, casual walk, maybe a kiss if the vibe’s there.

Reality: chaos.

We meet, it’s going great, he’s even cuter in person, we’re laughing, walking, all those cheesy rom-com things. Then, we pass by this random little park with swings and he’s like, “Wanna hop on?” I’m thinking, sure, let’s be quirky.

BIG MISTAKE.

I go full send, hop on the swing, try to be all cute… and immediately flash him because I forgot I was wearing a wrap skirt with basically nothing underneath. 🫠

His face went BEET RED and I’m just sitting there like a malfunctioning NPC, legs mid-air, skirt flying, brain buffering. He just blurts out “nice” (??? bro wtf) and then deadass offers to push me like nothing happened.

I. Am. Mortified.

But also??? He kept making all these little comments the rest of the date about how “spontaneous” I am and how he “wasn’t expecting that”. Same, dude. SAME.

We ended up walking for like two more hours and ngl… the tension was palpable. Didn’t kiss though — mostly because I couldn’t stop thinking about my accidental park peep show.

Now I’m home, overthinking everything, and wondering… should I text him? Should I just let it be the chaotic meet-cute it was? Idk.

Anyway, moral of the story: always check your outfit before attempting to be quirky in public.

TLDR: went on a wholesome first date, accidentally flashed him mid-swing, now I’m debating if I should text or wait for him to slide into my DMs first. 👀

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/LeatherRole2297 on 2025-05-28 04:17:25+00:00.

Reading another post reminded me of this, one of the most painful moments of my life:

Like many, I typically need to clear my bowels at some point in the morning. This routine is welcome, and I think that most of us would, if capable, choose to have a fairly consistent toilet time. There are many benefits and pieces of information to be gained, such as proof that your diet is good, BMs looking healthy, etc. But also, like all men I really enjoyed a nice healthy dump. The bigger and prouder, the better. Throughout my 20s and early 30s, a good bracing morning dump was the routine.

After having kids in my mid thirties, I was introduced to a fair bit of sleep disruptions. We had three kids close together, and while I didn’t lose nearly as much sleep as my poor wife, I tried to be reliable with getting up at night to change babies and bottle feed them. In addition to being massively tired at work, my entire body rhythm was somewhat disrupted.

And so it was, on that fateful day, that my morning necessaries visited me once I was at work rather than at home. No bother- great bathroom in at the office, even though it isn’t the comfort of my own home, it’ll do nicely. So there I went to visit the lavatory, weakened by weeks or months of sleep deprivation. I could tell, this was a poop I would be proud of. A solid shit.

I eased myself into my task, not rushing, gently leaning into my duties like a yogi. Once I was ready, in position, limber and dilated, and it was time to void my burden when WHAM a violent sneeze racked my body. I had no warning whatsoever- possibly due to lack of sleep- and thus couldn’t resist or stifle the sneeze. AHHCHHHOOO ploop. That’s what it sounded like. I sneezed and during that fraction of a second, delivered what should’ve been a ten or fifteen second log. It happened fast.

The pain was so profound that I stood up. I stood right up. I stood right straight up and clenched my cheeks, attempting to reset what I was certain to be a prolapsed sphincter. I resisted the urge to reach back and push on my poor butthole with my fingers. I needed to catch my breath. My ears rang. Had to tightly close my eyes. It took minutes to move. When I eventually wiped, I was terrified that I would see blood… thank god, THAT didn’t happen. What did happen was pain. For a week. I didn’t walk normally the rest of the day, and toilet time- something I used to very much look forward to- was ruined for at least a week.

I was so disappointed that my body would choose to sabotage itself. Sounds stupid in a world with cancer and autoimmune disease, but I really mean it. My body chose to do two things simultaneously that ought NEVER be done. How awful it was. Not sure I’ll ever completely trust again.

TL;DR I sneezed while crowning a poop and it felt like somebody bayoneted my bootyhole.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Fun-Goal-9906 on 2025-05-27 23:34:37+00:00.

Posted this is r/Teachers so figured I might as well share it here too.

This happened a few months ago, just now building up the courage to share it.

I’ll keep this brief- I work at a private school that teaches k-12, currently working in honors English for the older kids (keeping it purposefully vague). We have a field day for the younger kids, lots of races and games, basically shakes out to a half day for the high schoolers. The parents are encouraged to participate, as well as the high school teachers since we could have the day off.

The soccer field and parking lot is where most of the activities are taking place. I’m one of the few babysitting the playground, where kids are encouraged to hang out if they aren’t playing. I see a couples student wrestling underneath the playset, it looks like it’s getting rough, so I go over to intervene. Don’t ask me why, but for some reason I manage to poke my head through a rung in the ladder to tell them to stop. They run away, and I jokingly go after them… by pushing my shoulders through the rung. All fun and games until-

I can’t get my shoulders back out.

I’m struggling there for a few seconds, really pulling. One of my coworkers comes over and ask if I’m stuck. I tell her I think I am, she suggests I just push forward. So putting my pride aside, I try… but my adult sized tush doesn’t fit. I am actually stuck.

I will skip the 45 minutes or so I spent in the ladder, panicking, with a crowd of thirty or so forming, trying to get me out. Eventually the fire department was called (I know) and were forced to cut the ladder. I paid the damages, still teach at the school, but it easily the most embarrassed I have ever been or will ever be in my life.

Photo evidence below

TL;DR I underestimated my hips and will now be featured prominently in the yearbook

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Fiaasow on 2025-05-27 20:50:19+00:00.

I decided to do a factory reset on my PC today after having put it off for a while. Ever since I upgraded it, I felt I wasn't getting everything it could offer and that a factory reset was in order. Over the years, I had accumulated all of our family photos and videos in a folder on this PC. All said, it was roughly 1,000 photos from as early as I was 5 years old. I had backed up the photos in case of an event, twice. Once on my phone and another on a flash drive. Problem is my phone was running out of space so I decided to delete the photos to make space thinking I had two more instances on my PC and flash drive. About a month or so ago I erased the backup on the flash drive as well to make space for a Linux installer as I wanted to mess around with old laptops I had lying around. But I had completely forgotten to add the photos back to the flash drive when I was done. Fast foward to today, I impulsively decided to go forward with the factory reset on my PC. Before doing so, I backed up passwords and the like to a second SSD, and I was sure I had backed up the photos as well. I copied over the photos a second time, but then thought that I had copied the folder within another folder, and backed them up a second time unnecessarily, so I deleted it from the backup folder on the backup SSD. I don't know why, it's not like the SSD was small, and I didn't think that about the fact that I had no other backups. Needless to say, I went forward with the factory reset, and only after I realized that I had deleted the only backups I had off of the backup SSD before the reset. I have spent hours pouring over old phones, cloud storages, and drives desperately trying to find at least some photos but to no avail as I have reformatted/wiped most of them already with the intention of selling or scrapping them eventually. I am frustrated to the point of tears at my own stupidity. I can't even eat. The ones that hurt the most are photos of my late best friend.

tl:dr - Due to my arrogance and impulsiveness, I accidentally deleted the only copies of family photos I had for over the past 20 years.

UPDATE EDIT: Thanks to the incredible help from the commentors, I have successfully recovered most of my photos using PhotoRec! Thank you all so very much for your kind and sincere concern and help! I cherish and love all of you. You all have no idea how much this means to me, truly!

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Commercial-Being9431 on 2025-05-27 19:24:09+00:00.

I was in Target shopping for socks when a little girl, maybe 4 or 5, walked up crying, saying she lost her mom. I’ve got younger cousins and a heart, so I said, “Let’s find an employee,” and walked with her toward the front.

Apparently, walking off with a lost child, even toward help, triggers every single alarm Target has.

An employee saw me, panicked, and hit the Code Adam button. Within seconds, doors locked, intercoms blaring. I was frozen like a deer in headlights, holding this kid’s hand, wondering if I was about to be tackled.

Luckily, the mom came running up shouting, “That’s her, that’s my daughter!” which saved me from being profiled into the sun.

Employee apologized. I apologized. Kid was fine. I left sockless and traumatized.

TL;DR: Helped a lost kid in Target, accidentally triggered a Code Adam and nearly got tackled. Socks not acquired.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/OutlandishnessOk3189 on 2025-05-27 17:28:51+00:00.

This happened a couple of days ago. My boyfriend and I were at the store this weekend and saw cupping therapy devices, and he wanted to get them to try them out.

We used them on our backs and the rest of our bodies (I think they helped?) when he had the great idea to cup his forehead and mine. I (wrongly) assumed that this would last 24 hours, max. We were both sorely mistaken.

Now, he and I have been sporting huge red circular hickeys on our foreheads for almost 3 days now. His is worse (thankfully), but mine isn't much better. I put foundation on both of our spots, but it still looks pretty rough lol.

My coworkers think it's hilarious (it is). My boyfriend has an interview coming up soon, too. Overall, I don't recommend cupping your forehead. The rest of the circles disappeared from our bodies within 24 hours though. Haha

TL; DR: My boyfriend and I have the wonderful idea to use cupping techniques on our foreheads.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Additional_Hold_7713 on 2025-05-27 13:47:25+00:00.

I think I fucked up. I went to the gym this morning before I took my morning shit. I do this from time to time but I don’t like to make a habit of it because I’m afraid to shit myself while squatting.

Well today was the day my nightmares came true. But lifting had both in to do with it. I was warming up and my allergies have been crushing me lately and I thought I was going to sneeze so I held it in really tight and bammmmmm I sharted a little. A little shart isn’t the end of the world most of you would say. But today it was I was wearing white gym shorts and the shart started leaking out all over my white shorts to make a brown stain near me ass. I definitely fucked this up and I had to leave before anyone noticed hopefully.

TL;DR I will not trust a sneeze from now on, I will shit before the gym and I will take my Claritin D once a day.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/tOomanYfandOms on 2025-05-27 06:55:17+00:00.

i am still dealing with the consequences of this. this is burning so bad.

i am so goddamn desperate to unclog my nose that i am willing to try anything. clearly. i tried the throat napalm (Jigsaw’s cough syrup (Buckley’s)), tried vicks vapo rub, nothing worked and i’m tired i just want to sleep.

so i looked it up. “minty things.” ok. peppermint is minty. i have peppermint halo from saje on hand so i tried smelling the little rolly-bottle thingy.

nothing.

i bring it closer to my nose.

My stupid ass sneezes and launches my face directly into the oil marble. And now the chafed up red underpart of my nose is burning worse than Anakin on Mustafar but whenever i touch it it’s freezing cold. i try wiping it off with a tissue but it just makes my whole situation a million times worse because holy moly, tissue hurts so bad.

all of this and it still feels like i’m being waterboarded with a tiny cloth that only covers my nose. i cant smell anything and it’s nearly 3 am and i just want to sleep peacefully.

TL;DR: don’t sneeze if youre super desperate to breathe and your nose is chafed

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/HallowNY on 2025-05-27 03:37:21+00:00.

I went to a GROCERY store in the NY tri-state area to stock up on some alcoholic beverages. I’m kind of over High Noon and White Claw, so I grabbed a few random ones out of a cooler in the store for some new variety. One looked particularly delicious as it was like a lemon lavender flavor - sounded tasty and refreshing for a beautiful spring weekend.

Nope.

I drank about half of it while hanging out in the backyard with the kids, then I started to feel really strange….like a kind of strange I haven’t felt since being in a frat house in college. I look at the can to see what the heck I was drinking - expecting like a 20% alcohol content or something. Nope - THC and CBD. Since when did they start selling weed drinks in the white claw section of the grocery store!?!?!

TL;DR: I accidentally got high from a grocery store beverage in the early afternoon and was basically useless the rest of the day. Check those sparkling alcoholic canned beverages friends!! For me it was a not so happy accident, but for you this could be a great tip/trip!

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/ducky06 on 2025-05-26 21:35:24+00:00.

My new kittens have a parasite infection, and we’ve been instructed to sanitize their litter box between litter changes. Was bopping along on my Sunday evening doing chores. I clean the litter boxes in the bathroom. Usually I’ve been cleaning the litter box by making the litter pan soapy with hot water and a pinch of bleach, but this litter pan had a couple clumps of litter stuck to the bottom of the pan and I was feeling lazy so before adding the hot water, I gave a liberal pour of bleach directly from the bottle onto the clumps stuck at the bottom of the empty litter box. A weird white fizzing was occurring in the bottom of the litter box between the gray litter clump and the clear bleach, and I’m thinking “why is it white?” but like a dumbass go on to the next step and add hot water anyway. My older cat alerts to the danger by coming up and stared with wide eyes and a huge tail. At that point I could smell and feel that the air in the room was stinging and painful to breath, and it smelled weird, so I put on the bathroom fan, scooped her up, and shut the door. That was when it crossed my brain that I created a caustic chemical. Googled it and determined it was chloramine gas, and, we’d be ok. Turns out that cat urine contains ammonia, and ammonia and bleach makes chloramine gas. Hot water is the worst idea because it strengthens the reaction. This bathroom has no windows so I’m just wondering like how will we get this out of there? Scooped up the curious kittens and put them in a well ventilated room far away with open windows and stuffed cloth under the door. Opened all the windows in the house and turned on all the fans. Decided to keep the bathroom door closed and the shower fan on and see if 10 minutes would dissipate it. Had to tell my husband the bathroom was a hazard zone. Eventually the shower fan did dissipate all the gas (I wasn’t sure it actually would, apparently it does have an exhaust ). I was a tiny bit (barely) lightheaded and my airway was a bit hoarse but nothing warranting medical care. The kittens and big cat and my husband were all fine. Now you’d have no idea. Thank heavens for shower exhaust fans. Worst part is that I teach science. Don’t be like me.

TL;DR: Poured bleach into a litter box in my bathroom creating a cloud of noxious gas that took hours to dissipate.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/jkprlta on 2025-05-26 23:37:14+00:00.

My TV has always had a bit of an issue where no matter how I tried to clean it, it always seemed to be a bit dirty, like the streaks from greasy fingerprints seem to linger on it. And I was really annoyed by it. So today I tried to do something about it. I noticed that there was a film on the TV that appeared to be possible to remove.

No guesses but I wasn't supposed to do it and now there's a ugly bubble in my TV. It's barely two months old and ifu so bad. Idek what to do rn. It is under warranty but i am pretty sure I voided my warranty.

I probably will call Customer service tomorrow but I just needed to vent somewhere for this massive fu. Thanks.

Summary TL;DR: Fu by removing a film from my tv that everywhere you Google it says do not remove the film. REMOVED it anyway and now full of regrets and shame. Kids dgaf and happily still watching the TV though

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/weeambenko on 2025-05-26 19:34:18+00:00.

So, I went over to my boyfriend’s place. He was hanging out and chatting with his roommates in the living room, so I went straight to his bedroom to chill while I waited. For context, I don’t currently have a phone, so when I’m at his place I usually use his to scroll or watch something.

His phone was lying on the bed, unlocked, so I grabbed it to put something on. That’s when I saw some pictures of naked men. At first, I thought, “Oh, he watches gay porn? That’s new, but okay, no judgment.”

But then I noticed green message bubbles on every photo, that’s when I realized it wasn’t porn, it was a dating app for gay men, my heart sank, There were so many conversations. One of them was him telling some guy how much he enjoyed what they did last time and asking when he could come over again.

I didn’t want to confront him in front of his roommates, I just wanted to leave. So I closed the app and went to open InDrive (a taxi app, like Uber), but then I saw the home screen.

It wasn’t my boyfriend’s home screen.

It wasn’t even his phone.

Turns out, it was one of his roommates' phones. They must’ve left it in his room to charge, using my boyfriend’s charger. I had picked it up without even thinking twice.

So yeah, I almost had a full-on emotional meltdown and ran out on my boyfriend over a phone that wasn’t even his.

TL;DR: Thought my boyfriend was secretly cheating on me with men after seeing gay dating app messages on what I thought was his phone… turns out it was his roommate’s