Today I Fucked Up

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/themostunknownowl on 2025-06-06 22:19:46+00:00.

So technically this has been an ongoing thing but it's finally concluded today.

A few years ago a friend got an incredible picture of me and my girlfriend while we were chilling on the grass while we were still students. In the pic, she's sitting cross legged. I'm laying on my back on the grass with my head in her lap, looking up at her. She's holding my face. And we're looking at each other and smiling (although you can hardly see our faces).

A friend who was with us snapped a picture and it's just such a perfect natural moment that we never expected to be captured. It's both of our favourite pictures of each other.

We both had it saved at once point, but you know how it goes. You swap phones, hard drives and USBs get forgotten about, and so on. But neither of us know where we each saved the pic.

I remember the last time I saw it I saved it in multiple places and I thought to myself, "Alright self, I'm going to put it here so it's safe, easy to find, and so that I never lose it again and never forget where it is."

Lo and behold, I forgot where it I saved it. And we've both been looking for it for years. It comes up every now and then. Just 2 weeks ago she was like "Hey do you remember that picture? You still have it? Please send it to me I love that picture of us" And I had to explain that I put it in a place so safe that even I can't find it lol.

The amount of time I have spent scrolling through hard drives, looking for long lost microSD cards trying to find the one from the phone I had at the time. Trying to revive that phone (it's dead now. Won't start). All trying to find this picture. I eventually had to accept that it might never be found.

Well internet. I just found it. Guess where it was?

It's. On. My. DESKTOP!

OF ALL PLACES. Haha. Lol.

I guess the title could have been TIFU by not realising what I was looking for has been right in front of me all along. This was my main laptop for years. It broke. I got a new one to use for work. Then fixed this one and use it mainly for watching movies and stuff. But still that's around 3 times a week. She's seen the desktop many much times as well.

It just faded in. Neither of us noticed it. Until about 10min ago when I deleted a software and saw it next to the now-empty slot. If emojis weren't "banned" on Reddit, I'd put a bunch of skulls here.

TL;DR: My girlfriend and I both forgot where we each individually stored our favourite picture of us and it's been missing for years. I found my storage spot today. On my desktop. Right in front of my face.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Brady721 on 2025-06-07 01:46:02+00:00.

Happened earlier in the week, Tuesday to be specific. All last week I felt like I had a bad case of indigestion and constipation. Wednesday during the day my stomach hurt pretty good, but by late afternoon it felt a little better, even went on a short bicycle ride with some friends (20 miles). Saturday my wife and I were going to do a 60 mile ride but I could only do 40, I was flat out exhausted and couldn’t figure out why. Sunday I was really out of it, exhausted, hardly got off the couch or my bed, and had taken a shit since Thursday. And it wasn’t much of one given how much I had been eating.

My wife rocks and went to the store and got me some laxatives, as we were getting a little nervous, we were scheduled to go on a vacation to Norway with my mom, sister, and her husband and kids on Wednesday. I wanted whatever was going on resolved before then because I didn’t want it to fix itself while on the 12 hour flight if you know what I mean. No one wants to be the guy that forces a transatlantic flight to do an emergency landing because they shit all over the place. I drank all that she brought home and prayed for the best.

I hardly slept at all Sunday night on into Monday morning anxiously waiting for the laxatives to do their thing. Finally early Monday morning it was game on. I felt so much better after recreating that one scene from Dumb and Dumber. I called in sick to work just to be safe as in if the laxatives had a round two or three in store for me, and because I needed the rest. Progressively through the day my stomach started to hurt again and I was thinking uh oh.

I woke up Tuesday morning around 4:30 due to the pain and decided to go in. The Urgent Care at the hospital didn’t open until 7:00 so I got myself comfortable on the couch and drank a little coffee. As I was heading out the door my wife asked if I wanted her to come with and at first I said no, but then thought for a second and changed my mind.

We made the hour drive to the hospital (we live in a rural area) and got there just before they opened. I got checked in and was seen by a Dr right away, and I explained my symptoms. He ordered a blood test and did the usual things like listened to my stomach, put a finger up my butt, etc. He also ordered a CT scan, which piqued my curiosity about what was really going on.

Shortly after the blood draw and CT scan my wife asked for my phone and she opened up our hospitals app and saw that my blood sample results were already live on it. A couple things were off the charts so we googled it and everything came back saying that I had an infection. At this time we started txting my family saying something is up and we’ll keep them posted.

The nurse came back in and hooked me up to an IV with a hurried pace which further made me think that things weren’t quite normal. The Dr. came back in and introduced us to another Dr., the surgeon on duty. The surgeon said he wasn’t sure how I was walking, talking, and didn’t have a fever because my appendix had burst. As in last week, possibly as early as Wednesday. The CT showed that the infection had spread to my colon and that if they operated right then and there I would lose about 1/3 of it.

I’m thinking welp, looks like I’m not going to Norway. I end up getting admitted to the hospital, put on a clear liquid diet, and started a regiment of antibiotics. The surgeon said that during COVID hospitals were slammed and couldn’t always do appendix surgery right away, so they would give patients a heavy dose of antibiotics until they could fit them in and found that in about 90% of cases it worked really well. He said that if all goes well with me going this route then when he does operate on me he’ll only need to remove my appendix. We’re all for this as the recovery time is significantly shorter and there’s less chance of complications.

My brother in-law is a rockstar not only because he did all the planning for the trip, but he was able to cancel everything and get refunded. And to top it off everyone came up to visit me in the hospital.

During my three day, two night stay I got stable enough to go home so here we are now. Taking it easy, eating antibiotics like they are Pez candies, and waiting for my next Dr. appointment when we can reassess my status and schedule the surgery. I’m hopeful to get it done sooner than later because sitting on the couch in summer is killing me. I just want to go ride my bike.

Looks like we’re going to shoot for next June for attempt number two for Norway which we’re all really looking forward to. I’m glad I went in before we left too because who wants to end up spending all of their vacation in a hospital in a foreign country.

TL;DR: Had a burst appendix, didn’t display normal symptoms so I didn’t bother getting it checked out, and eventually wound up getting admitted to the hospital the day before my entire family was supposed to go on a trip to Norway.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/SJC63 on 2025-06-06 23:46:25+00:00.

Basically just the title. My girlfriend and I just started renting at this new house, our first time living alone together, so we had a lot of boxes we wanted to put out for bulk trash day. We have Republic Services come and pick up our trash cans on Friday morning - afternoon, so I had done the trash on Thursday afternoon after getting home from work. There were quite a few boxes, so my girlfriend offered to help, but I declined so that she didn't have to get out of bed. For context, she had been there when movers she had hired had put two of her paintings she had bought at auctions (at least 6000$ worth) in protective wrap, and then inside large boxes to protect them during the move. They had put them on the side of the garage, leaning by themselves.

So when I went out there, we had been stacking all of our actual trash/recycling boxes about 3-5 feet away from where the art was leaning on the wall. The pile was entirely separate, sitting on the ground stacked up. Not paying attention, I took out our recycling and trash cans first, then threw all the boxes in our trash pile in-between the two cans so they didn't blow away. After cleaning the pile, I mindlessly walked over to the garage, and saw the two more moving boxes, big ones that were standing up by themselves and were heavy. Without thinking to look and check I put them out with all the other trash, closed the garage, and didn't think about it again.

As of me writing this it's that Friday afternoon. I was walking out of work when my girlfriend gave me a call, crying and telling me not to freak out, but that she thinks I had thrown away her art. I didn't instantly put two and two together, but then she reminded me that the art was leaning on the wall, and it clicked. I instantly felt so, so goddamn stupid. She tried calling Republic Services to either communicate to the garbage truck, or to maybe see if we can check the dump, but we got the 24-48 hour response wait for the truck, and they said the office for visitors at the dump had already closed for the day.

This was one of the more avoidable and stupid fuck ups of my life. My girlfriend is furious, and especially considering she had mentioned the art leaning in the wall previously, and that she offered to help, I feel so embarrassed and ashamed of myself. I typed this right after this happened, so excuse any of the poor spelling and grammar. FML

TL;DR: Threw out my girlfriends art that was sitting in a cardboard box when I was taking out the trash. Called me crying when she saw them not there the next day. Art was very expensive and was worth a ton. I'm a dumbass

Small update: With the help of everyone's suggestions I talked to someone I know that works with Republic Services, and found the holding center. They were closed by the time I rushed over, but they open at 7 am tomorrow. Grabbing the worst clothes and shoes I own to go see if I can find it. Thanks for all who have advice, got literally 0 excuse for something this bad so I'm gonna do everything I can to fix it.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/gone-ghost on 2025-06-06 21:02:42+00:00.

Hi all. I needed to share this because it’s so not appropriate but I can’t stop cringing and hopefully someone will find this funny.

My best friend and I have been close for almost 10 years now and are two halves of the same person. I was supposed to celebrate my best friend’s birthday this evening but unfortunately as I was leaving she called and told me her dog had to be put down. She’s had her dog for 17 years, almost her whole life, and they’re literal soulmates. Her dog has been having some health problems this past month and unfortunately it accumulated in her passing. I’m devestated for her and her family.

Right after we hung up, I got a notification from Cameo telling me the video I bought for her as a birthday present was ready. It was kind of expensive and I’m broke but I will do anything for a bit. I paid a furry to wish her a happy birthday and give her advice on joining the furry community. I am not making fun of furries, I swear. I fully respect the community. I just thought it would be a great gag gift. The furry in question has a fursuit that looks exactly like the animated version of her dog, which at the time I thought was sweet, but now it looks terrible. Not only that, but the guy told my best friend to stay out of the hospital and all this stuff that seems in bad taste now. I feel fucking AWFUL!!!!

I know eventually she’ll find this hilarious and we’ll laugh about it but I feel like this was the worst time to buy this gift. I guess I’ll have to wait a bit to send it her way. In the meantime I’m sending flowers, books, and food to help make things easier for her in this period.

TL;DR I bought my best friend a Cameo for her birthday that I thought was the perfect gag gift but after her dog passed it looks like salt in a wound.

ETA: alright y’all someone does need to see this video so i linked it below. it’s a little choppy in some places because i edited out some personal info. anyway, enjoy!

cameo here

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/madeupname230 on 2025-06-06 20:17:10+00:00.

When I was about 15 I was at a Disney Store in a mall and one of the features was a phone that you could call different Disney characters from and then have fake/pre-recorded conversation with that character. While I was using it I noticed the cover was loose and when I pulled it up I saw it was just a normal phone underneath. So I did what any dumbass kid would do and dialed my dad’s work number and said hi. I didn’t mention I was at the Disney store or the way I had called him. He was mildly annoyed, and the short call ended. If only he knew what was coming.

In actuality, by dialing his number I had unknowingly reprogrammed the Mickey Mouse button to call my dad at work. So I walk away and go about my afternoon. Important to note this was early 1990’s and very much pre-cell phone. Meaning until I got home several hours later there was no way to contact me.

And over those few hours, every few minutes my dad’s work phone would ring, and a cute little kid would say to my dad: Does Mickey have a message for me? Well the first few times my dad was just confused and hung up. But it didn’t stop. In fact the frequency began to pick up. And my dad, assuming he was being relentlessly pranked while he was trying to work, finally just lost his cool and yelled into the phone at some poor kid: “Yeah, Mickey has a message for you - FUCK OFF!”

Needless to say the calls stopped. I assume someone reported that to the store and they got it sorted. But when he told me the story later that evening I just Horst out laughing. Then I explained everything. It would be a lie to say he immediately saw the humor in it, but he certainly does now.

TL;DR - I sent all the Mickey Mouse calls from a phone at a Disney store to my dad at work.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Loonathik on 2025-06-06 17:28:34+00:00.

Sorry about my bad English. I'll try my best to explain it as well as I can.

I took my little brother out for dinner, as a gift for his 9th birthday. I'm a foodie and he loves trying new stuff eventhough he is very picky, he still loves trying it.

We went to this new restaurant and ordered something neither of us knew what it was. They brought the food and it was like a thick dark stew with meat in it (not sure how to describe it) with rice.

I put what looked like the biggest and best piece of meat in my brother's plate and told him to eat it and took the rest of it for myself.

He took a bite and nagged that "it just tastes like onion". Now because he tends to be picky and nag about food a lot I told him to just eat the damn thing because it's very tasty and he is just being bratty.

It really was tasty. My brother was mostly playing with his food and nagging the entire time that it's just like eating onion. Eventually I snapped at him to let me try it and took a spoonfull of his food.

It was onion.

While I've been eating a delicious meal my brother was eating an onion.

How was I supposed to know?😂😂😂 in the hinsight I should have believed him sooner but dammit it looked just like the meat. They were all covered by the dark broth/sauce/stew/whatever it's called.

He is sulking now. I think I'm gonna spend the rest of my life apologizing.

TL;DR: I didn't believe my brother and made him eat onion on his birthday.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Excellent-Music-2777 on 2025-06-06 15:37:14+00:00.

It happened yesterday and I'm still cringing at what I did. There's this guy at my gym I've been lowkey crushing on for months. We've exchanged smiles and spotted each other a few times, but I've been too nervous to actually make a move.

Yesterday he came over during my cooldown and we started chatting about our routines. The conversation was going really well. Then he said "Hey, would you want to grab coffee sometime? Can I get your number?" I completely panicked like full on panic. My heart started racing. I've been imagining this moment for months but when it actually happened, I just froze up. I started stammering out what I thought was my phone number but I was so flustered that I mixed up the digits. He smiled and said he'd text me later and then he walked away. I stood there for a minute trying to process what just happened, then realized I'd given him a completely wrong number. I panicked so hard that I basically sabotaged myself.

Now I don't know if I should approach him again and explain what happened or just pretend it never happened. He probably thinks I wasn't interested and gave him a fake number on purpose. How do I fix this without looking like a pos?

TL;DR: gave my crush the wrong number at the gym

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/RickyRapidRope on 2025-06-06 14:25:38+00:00.

My girlfriend and I just moved in together, and I had the brilliant idea to wake up early last weekend and make her breakfast in bed. Real wholesome shit. I made pancakes, scrambled eggs, coffee. Even warmed the plates like I saw in some Gordon Ramsay video. I was proud.

I get everything onto a tray and start walking up the stairs. What I didn’t realize is that our cat had left one of her little rubber mouse toys right on the third step. One of those tiny bastard ones that looks like lint until it's under your foot.

I step on it. Instantly lose my footing. Tray launches. Food is airborne. I go down like a sack of wet laundry. Pancakes fly. Coffee explodes on the wall. I hit the bottom of the stairs in a twisted pile of regret and syrup.

My girlfriend runs out of the bedroom like she just heard a home invasion. She finds me groaning on the floor, holding my wrist, with a pancake stuck to my back like some kind of domestic shuriken. I tell her I think I broke something.

We go to the ER. X-rays confirm: fractured wrist. The nurse doesn’t even react when I explain what happened. Just writes it down and moves on like she’s heard this exact story before, which honestly makes it worse.

Now my wrist is in a brace, my girlfriend has banned “surprises of any kind,” and the cat is still loose, presumably planning her next attack.

10/10 would not recommend.

TL;DR: Tried to be sweet, stepped on a cat toy, flew down the stairs, broke my wrist, and now I’m banned from being thoughtful.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Ok_Technology_2856 on 2025-06-05 20:25:31+00:00.

So, I had been bored this entire week so today I decided to be productive. After office, I went for a swim and later in the night my friends (not as close, new friends Ive met a few months ago) called up for a chill session at home.

I invited them over. They came at 11PM, its 2AM, I am so tired and want to sleep. But my friends are talking and chilling. I don’t want to be the party pooper😭 but my social battery is in negative. Its the fatigue. But its also 2AM and a weekday! I feel so stupid because I have gone non verbal at this point because of my tiredness.

I am not very close to them and cant be confrontational. I am going to suck it up and continue being a good host.

TLDR; called friends over. Had no social battery. They are talking while I am typing this post.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Tryftz on 2025-06-06 01:20:02+00:00.

This happened last week, but I’m still thinking about it. For context, I (22M) am a university student in Beijing, working part-time at a McDonald’s to help cover tuition. I always thought my manager, Ms. Li (not her real name), was super strict and honestly a bit scary. She’s always barking orders, never seems to smile, and I used to think she just enjoyed making our lives difficult. That was until last week, when I finally saw what she actually deals with.

The Setup It was a Tuesday morning, and I was scheduled for the breakfast shift. Usually, I’m on the register or helping with delivery orders (Meituan and Ele.me are HUGE here), but that day Ms. Li asked me to help her with inventory and some paperwork because our assistant manager called in sick and two new hires ghosted us after orientation (classic).

I thought it’d be a chill day, just following her around and maybe getting some extra hours. I could not have been more wrong. 7:00 AM – The Calm Before the Storm Before we even opened, Ms. Li was already on the phone with the district supervisor because our fryer was acting up and the morning delivery was late. She was checking WeChat messages from employees who were “sick” (again), dealing with a broken POS system, and trying to get the QR code payment scanner to work. I was just standing there, holding a clipboard, feeling useless. She told me to start counting the drink syrups in the back. I opened the storage room and was greeted by chaos: boxes everywhere, spilled syrup on the floor, and a random plush toy someone must have left behind. I started counting, but Ms. Li called me back because the delivery app printer wasn’t working and there were already five Meituan orders waiting.

8:00 AM – The Breakfast Rush Breakfast in Beijing is no joke. People want their youtiao and soy milk, but there’s a surprising number of McMuffin and hash brown lovers. We were short-staffed, so Ms. Li was running the grill, shouting orders in Mandarin, and somehow still managing to answer the phone and deal with a customer who was mad that their congee was “too salty.” I was sweating, trying not to mess up the hash browns, and Ms. Li was literally sprinting between the kitchen, the counter, and the delivery window. A customer started yelling at her because the McCafé machine was out of oat milk. Ms. Li apologized, offered a free upgrade, and smiled through gritted teeth. The customer left a one-star review anyway. Ms. Li just sighed and kept moving.

9:30 AM – The Delivery Disaster The delivery truck finally arrived, and the driver was in a bad mood. He said he couldn’t find half our order, and the rest was stacked wrong. Ms. Li had to check everything, sign forms, and call the supplier. Meanwhile, the line at the counter was growing, and one of the new hires was asking me how to make a Filet-O-Fish. I tried to help, but Ms. Li was juggling five things at once. She finally got a moment to sit down and I overheard her on the phone with her daughter’s school. Apparently, her daughter was sick and needed to be picked up, but there was no way Ms. Li could leave. She sounded exhausted and worried, but as soon as she hung up, she was back on her feet, smiling at customers.

11:00 AM – The Lunch Rush Lunch in China means a flood of students, office workers, and delivery drivers. A group of influencers came in and started filming a Douyin (Chinese TikTok) video in the lobby. Someone tried to pay with a stack of coins. The ice cream machine was still down, and now the WiFi was acting up, which meant the QR code payments were failing. Ms. Li was everywhere at once, fixing problems, calming angry customers, and somehow still finding time to check on us. At one point, a customer threw a fit because we were out of spicy chicken wings. Ms. Li took the brunt of it, apologized, and offered a coupon. The customer called her “useless” and stormed out. I saw her eyes well up for just a second before she shook it off and went back to work.

1:00 PM – The Realization By now, I was exhausted and my feet hurt. Ms. Li hadn’t stopped moving since 6:30 AM. She’d dealt with angry customers, lazy employees, broken machines, and a sick kid—all before lunch. I suddenly realized: she’s not just strict, she’s holding this place together with sheer willpower. After the rush, I finally got a chance to talk to her. I awkwardly apologized for not realizing how hard her job was. She just laughed and said, “You’ll understand when you’re a manager.” But honestly, I don’t know how anyone could do her job every day.

The Aftermath Since that day, I’ve tried to be more helpful. I show up early, help clean up, and do my best not to add to Ms. Li’s stress. I also started sticking up for her when other employees complain. She’s still tough, but now I see it’s because she has to be. So, TIFU by judging my manager before I ever walked a mile in her shoes. If you work in fast food in China (or anywhere), give your manager a break—they’re probably holding the whole place together with duct tape, WeChat, and caffeine. TL;DR: Thought my McDonald’s manager in Beijing was just strict, but after spending a day in her shoes, I realized she’s a superhero dealing with chaos, angry customers, useless employees, and a sick kid—all while keeping the store running. I feel like a jerk and have a whole new respect for her.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/tchik1988 on 2025-06-05 17:02:15+00:00.

My (37F) young coworker (20F) was talking about what she needed to buy for her upcoming trip across the country. I was trying to be helpful and offered for her to use my suitcases for her trip so she can save money. I get the suitcases out of my closet and make sure the smaller one is inside the bigger one and make sure that there is nothing in the bigger suitcase pockets. After every trip I always make sure to empty out my suitcases before I put them up, so I didn’t think about looking in them. TIFU by assuming there was nothing in the smaller suitcase since I hadn’t used it in 2 years. Why oh why did I do this! If I could turn back time I would.

I drop off the suitcases to my coworker and go home feeling happy about the good deed I’ve done. A day later I get a message that starts off with, “Don’t be embarrassed but you left something in your suitcase.” I’m like ok, maybe it’s underwear or something. Nope next she sends me a picture of a self pleasure toy I barely remember having. She even asked me if she needed to bring it to me… I was like for the love of God just throw it away! True story I don’t know why it was in there other than maybe I was thinking it was a good place to hide it from my nosey kids. I am panicking! I’m like please tell me this is not happening… and she’s so young!!!

She was so mature about it and I’m over here planning to quit my job and leave the country. I immediately had to tell my husband what happened and we cosmic laughed for 2 whole hours until we were so sore. (I tell my husband everything). Even he is like how did it get in there and why didn’t you check both suitcases. For the life of me I wish I knew why I didn’t just look in the smaller suitcase. My first day seeing her after this was super akward but we just laughed and went on and I apologized profusely.

TL;DR Always check your suitcases and never assume it’s empty!

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Lucile_B on 2025-06-05 16:48:09+00:00.

Like the title says, Today I fucked up by carrying pepper spray in my hip purse!

I (22F) work at a job that ends around 9pm, closing takes about 30 minutes and then I have to take a 20 minute walk home in what is a mostly rural area and has low visibility. Last year in December I got attacked going home after one of my shifts ( I'm all ok now! But it was scary and police were involved) so I got myself a small bottle of pepper spray.

To skip all of the in-between from December to now... I ended up carrying this pepper spray in my hip purse at all times. Work, going for a walk, mall, anything and everywhere.

Well, recently while working I began to have these small coughing fits. Like my throat was spicy, I'd just cough out of nowhere. I thought it was from vaping (something that I quit about a few months prior but I thought it was catching up to me).

Then there was me washing my hands at home, then eating something with my hands like an apple and having this sudden burning on my tongue.

Or the one time that I just touched my tongue and ended up sitting down with my mouth and, somehow, eyes burning on the couch.

I thought all of these were unrelated incidents. I clean a lot at home so I thought the burning was from not washing my hands well enough or something.

But today. I was looking for my bus card to fill it up, I keep it in the same pocket as my pepper spray. I noticed that it was slightly damp, and so was the fabric of my bag. I pulled all of the pockets contents out and it was clear the spray had been leaking everywhere.

I used a baby wipe to wipe off the bottle and, as I suspected It was all orange and wet. As I was cleaning it off I inhaled and began coughing. Then I put two and two together.

Everything still has a light smell of pepper spray... I can't wait to get home and wash it all off oh my god.

TL;DR: Carried pepper spray in my hip purse which, unbeknownst to me was causing me: coughing fits and my mouth and eyes stinging, because it was leaking everywhere.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/patientpartner09 on 2025-06-05 15:43:08+00:00.

I don't know how many of you know this, but artichokes can apparently cause flatulence.

Last night, I made a couple of garlic butter white wine steamed artichokes using my instapot. They were delicious and the kids had zero interest so my husband and I each ate one. This morning, we both had a bit of gas and I thought that was the worst of it..... boy, was I wrong.

Just after having coffee and sending the kids off to school, it came. The reminder text from school. ...

Awards Ceremony in the MPR this morning.

My husband and I have never had gas this bad. It's comical. Loud, long, stinky farts. Often. So we scramble and do our best to get it together. We gas ourselves out the whole car ride to the school. Then we made our way into the MPR and the wait began. We decided standing in the back was the way to go. We stood, we clapped, we used every single muscle available to hold the pressure in.

Suddenly, my husband made a face, and the creaking sound of a muffled fart... I couldn't hold my giggles and that was a HUGE MISTAKE. The next thing I know, I am laugh-farting! We both start laughing so hard we had to step out the side door and when we walked out dying of laughter, there was a whole group of parents waiting for the next grade's awards. So now at least 15 people are looking at us like we have 3 eyes and we are just fighting for our lives. We walked around back to the front door, snuck back in and stood 10 feet apart on the side wall, for safety. It was a hilarious drive home.

Lesson learned. Apparently artichokes cause us gas.

TL,DR: I gave my husband and and myself a horrible case of gas before a school award ceremony.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Basic-Attempt-7725 on 2025-06-05 14:20:43+00:00.

Last weekend I booked a flight from Toronto to Rome because I've always wanted to see Italy and the flight prices weren't terrible. I was so excited about finally doing something impulsive and fun that I spent the whole week planning what I'd see, bookmarking nice spots that I saw on tiktok and I even learned a few basic Italian words. So I go at Pearson, checked in online and I'm feeling great (it would've been my first time in Europe btw). I get to security, reach for my documents and my passport isn't there. It's sitting on my desk at home.

I never ever felt so shit. I had planned every fucking thing like everything clothes places that I'll go to every detail, but to this day I have no idea how did I forget my passport. There was no time for me to go back to my house, pick it up and run back so I missed the flight. Tomorrow morning I had to rearrange a trip for later this month and cancelled my days off from work and pushed them for further up this month.

TL;DR: forgot my passport for my flight

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/zacharydaiquiri69420 on 2025-06-05 06:47:19+00:00.

Hi guys, long time no see, for those are you new to this, moral of the story is that I (25M) began working at this new job and I was going out to the bar with this girl (34F) I worked with and I slept in our bed, two times without having sex. Then everybody I know was telling me that I missed all the signals that she was supposedly trying to “jump my bones”, for those of you who have waited, this is the final update.

We went to the bar tonight, this is the last time her and I are gonna be hanging out for a minute because she got fired from the job we both worked at, not for anything relating to this btw, but her and I went out tonight to the same bar, got to talk about it, had a good time all around. Unfortunately, for some of y’all who keep suggesting that I just go for the kiss and ask questions later, it did not work out like that. I firmly believe that that’s not the move for someone like me to make, so I’m gonna continue doing what I feel comfortable doing. So I asked her straight up for the last time be honest if she was just sharing a bed so that I don’t drive home drunk, or if she was trying to sleep with me. She did confirm, and in great detail, she’s not in any way sexually attracted to me, but she does enjoy the shit out of my company and feels comfortable around me. She doesn’t think I’m gay, she knows I wasn’t trying to make her uncomfortable, we both just wanted to clear the air. So it said and done. I’m sorry if this isn’t the ending y’all wanted, but it just didn’t work out that way.

Here’s a thing, I’m cool with it either way. I enjoy her company, I also enjoy her bed because it’s comfy. Would sex have been a really nice bonus? Absolutely. Was it necessary or mandatory? No. I don’t regret this in any way. She did beg for my number so that we can stay in touch and keep going out to drink, so at least we’re good friends. I’m cool with it, truly.

TL;DR I slept in the same bed with my coworker twice and lived in a bubble of confusion until she finally confirmed she’s not trying to sleep with me.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/altdwnppo on 2025-06-05 03:03:24+00:00.

When I was around 7 or 8, I found Cooking Mama on my younger cousin's Nintendo DS. Naturally, I wanted to play it too. So when I got home, I searched “cooking mama” on Google and played it on some sketchy flash website—probably Y8.

And I was not ready.

You pluck the feathers off a turkey. You remove its organs. You make this barf-colored stuffing and then—just to top it all off—you behead the thing. It was graphic. It was gross. My 8-year-old brain had no idea what the hell was going on. I thought this was just how the game was.

Fast forward to today. Still curious, still nostalgic, I download a DS emulator and play the actual Cooking Mama. It’s... wholesome. It’s cheerful. Mama is smiling and supportive. She's not looking at me like she wants to stab me with a cleaver. Where’s the horrifying turkey? Where’s the blood?

One Google search later, I finally learned the truth: I had been playing PETA’s parody game, Cooking Mama: Mama Kills Animals, this whole damn time.

Apparently, they made a bunch of these. So yeah. Thanks for the childhood trauma, PETA.

TL;DR: I played PETA's Cooking Mama: Mama Kills Animals on a flash site when I was 8, thought it was the real game, and just discovered it wasn’t. Cooking Mama is wholesome. I’ve been emotionally scarred for no reason.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/DtownBronx on 2025-06-05 00:42:11+00:00.

I was recently diagnosed with sleep apnea, no surprise, I've snored like a cartoon character since I was 15. Today I went in for the machine fitting and a quick lesson on how to operate and connect the machine. I got home at the same time as my upstairs neighbors and we were chatting.

I happily told them they wouldn't have to listen to me snore all night as I just got a new Pap smear machine. I noticed a change in their faces but didn't think much of it. I kept talking and mentioned I've always figured I had sleep apnea but I've always been a little too embarrassed to get a Pap smear machine. This time there was clear confusion in the woman's face so I was frantically going back over my words when it hit me. I couldn't explain myself fast enough. They were doubled over laughing as I kept repeating C Pap machine. We run into each other a lot so I'm fully expecting Pap smear machine quips every time I see them, especially when they're engaged in their back patio activities.

TL;DR: I mistakenly called my new C Pap machine a Pap smear repeatedly in a conversation with the couple that lives upstairs. I'll have to avoid eye contact for the foreseeable future.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/daddydaddydo6790 on 2025-06-04 23:19:51+00:00.

I’m a 23F Latina working at a clinic. The other day, we had an older female patient come in with a much younger man. I casually assumed he was her son until a coworker said, “No way, that’s her husband. He calls her Mami.”

I said, “But doesn’t that mean mom?” They looked at me like I had two heads and explained it’s a term of endearment between married couples. Like babe or baby.

Cue the existential crisis.

Because my own parents have been calling each other Mami and Papi for as long as I can remember. I always thought it was something they did when we were kids to avoid using their first names and confusing us. And then the habit just stuck.

Nope.

Apparently they’ve always used those names. Not for parenting purposes. For flirting. Just a little romantic thing I completely misunderstood for 23 years.

The kicker is my younger sister already knew. I was the only one out here thinking it was some kind of parenting strategy.

I feel like I’ve been living in the background of a telenovela and just now looked up.

UPDATE: Called my older brother this man didn’t know either lmaooo

UPDATE2: My dad did confirm that they did it when we were kids to not confuse us, but also for a term of affection. So I wasn’t 100% wrong, more like 50%

TLDR: My parents have been calling each other Mami and Papi as a form of endearment and not to confuse us children.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/khalid_q9 on 2025-06-04 20:40:09+00:00.

So, I work in a small office and part of my job involves printing out legal notices—boring stuff like foreclosure warnings, court summons, and the like. Usually, it’s a pretty mindless process: click, print, file, mail.

One day, I was prepping a stack of default notices for a batch mailing. These things are cold and final—“Pay up or we seize your house” kind of tone. As I’m about to print the last batch, our old office printer decided to jam… hard. Not just a paper jam, but the kind that throws a tantrum and refuses to reset even after turning it off and back on.

I called IT, but they were busy and wouldn’t get to us until the next day. Whatever, I think. I’ll reprint the batch tomorrow.

But here’s the kicker: that night, I couldn’t sleep. Something about the name on one of the notices stuck with me. I looked it up on a whim (we’re allowed to do some light personal research, weirdly), and I noticed there were comments in her case file about a payment being received early—but the system had flagged it as invalid because it hadn’t matched the final paperwork. I dig deeper and realize we were about to foreclose on this woman’s home because of a glitch in our system, not hers.

If the printer hadn’t jammed, that letter would’ve gone out. The process would’ve steamrolled over her, and she would’ve had no clue until sheriffs came knocking.

The next morning, I escalated the issue to management. They reviewed the case, confirmed the mistake, and immediately halted the process. Her home was saved.

So yeah. My office printer threw a hissy fit at just the right time. First and only time I’ve ever wanted to hug a chunk of aging plastic.

TL;DR: Printer jammed while I was sending out legal notices. The delay gave me time to discover a system error that would’ve wrongly foreclosed on someone’s home. Printer saved the day.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/crittercorral on 2025-06-04 20:17:12+00:00.

We're in the country and animals are always coming inside. The cats take care of the small ones and leave tiny bodies on the carpet for me to find.Yesterday it was a baby mole. I was rhapsodizing about it's tiny iridescent whiskers and velvety body before setting it back outside.

Today there was another tiny body on the carpet. Being half blind I brought it up to my face for a better look. Just as I realized it had no legs or whiskers, I got a whiff of it. It was a turd.

It was far away from the litter box and had no litter on it , just a dark piece of matter that was mouse sized.

Since I'm told to keep typing, I'll also say that the cats sometimes leave half mice on the floor. Cold squishy half mice. I know they set mice out. I once found a row of 2.5 mice

."TL;DR" I picked up a turd thinking it was a poor little critter and got a good whiff of unpleasantness.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Plane_Energy_8027 on 2025-06-04 18:48:33+00:00.

This happened last weekend and I'm still cringing into the void about it.

So I matched with this girl on Hinge who seemed way out of my league - like genuinely stunning and had her shit together. We'd been texting for weeks and I was determined not to blow it when we finally met up.

Being the galaxy brain genius I am, I suggested this upscale steakhouse downtown that I'd seen on Instagram. Problem is, I never actually looked at the menu prices. Just assumed it couldn't be THAT expensive, right? Wrong. So fucking wrong.

We get there and I'm trying to play it cool while internally having a panic attack looking at these prices. $45 steaks, $18 cocktails, $12 for fucking BREAD. My checking account had maybe $200 and I'd already spent $30 on an Uber to get there because my car is currently held together by prayers and duct tape.

She orders wine, appetizers, the works - which is totally normal! But I'm sitting there doing mental math like some kind of deranged accountant, ordering the cheapest thing I can find (a $22 chicken Caesar salad that I pretended was "exactly what I was craving").

The bill comes to $180. I genuinely considered faking a medical emergency lmao. Instead, I paid it with my credit card while dying inside, knowing I'd have to survive off ramen for the next three weeks.

Plot twist: she offered to split it and I was too embarrassed to say yes. Told her I "had it covered" like some kind of financial chad when I was literally broke.

We actually had a great time and she wants to see me again, but now I've set this precedent that I'm some kind of fancy restaurant guy when I usually consider Chipotle a splurge 😭

TL;DR: Tried to flex with money I don't have, now eating instant noodles until payday while planning a second date I can't afford

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/francixoxo on 2025-06-04 18:04:48+00:00.

So I usually go for my daily runs around 5AM just as the sun rises and the world hasn’t fully booted up yet, since its peaceful and serene.

But today, I woke up way too early. Like, 3:30AM early. And instead of doing something normal like scrolling on my phone I decided to start running at 4AM as if going out that early has some bonus fitness points.

Terrible idea.

I live on the edge of the suburbs, about three blocks from the city. Usually, I cut through a few alleys during my run. But at 4AM those alleyways are pitch black so i thought it would be safer to just circle the block.

As I turned a corner, a group of stray dogs straight-up materialized under a parked car. I didn't even see them at first, they were full stealth mode. But once I passed, they collectively decided I was some avengers lvl threat and charge straight at me.

What began as a calm morning jog immediately turned into a full blown Olympic sprint.

I'm not a slow runner, but apparently, dogs on a mission have the acceleration of Teslas. I turned my head, and the lead dog was only a few feet away. I panicked and tried to shew them away, turned back around and slammed hard into the trunk of a parked car.

The impact was so hard it actually triggered the car alarm. It started blaring like it just witnessed a crime scene. And the dogs? They immediately lost interest ran right past me like they wanted no part in the chaos they just caused. Suckers didn't even spare me a bark.

I was left wheezing on the pavement. Thankfully, no one came out to investigate until I could pull myself together. So I gathered what was left of my dignity, limped home, and silently swore to never be that motivated again.

TL;DR: Went jogging too early, got chased by stray dogs, ran into a parked car, set off the alarm, and the dogs ignored me anyway.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Oztravels on 2025-06-04 09:38:44+00:00.

Not today but a long time ago

I was tasked to launch a new snack food product, monster munch, in Papua New Guinea back in the 80s when I was running an advertising agency there. I had the idea (what I thought was brilliant at the time) to use the traditional “cargo cult” cultural phenomenon to get attention to the product.

The cargo cult phenomenon started during the Second World War where the armed services would airdrop supplies to the troops but as the terrain was so treacherous many drops landed in very remote locations and were discovered by the natives. The natives saw the drops as gifts coming from ancestral spirits and would wait patiently for drops from every plane that flew over.

My idea, hire a baron beach craft airplane load it up with bags of monster munch and drop them over populated areas while the radio commercial was on air. What insured was a nightmare, several people were injured climbing up on buildings to retrieve the bags, falling over cliffs, running into traffic nearly drowning in lakes……..

The client was impressed by the idea but not the collateral damage. Not the highest point of my career.

TL;DR Didn’t think through the ramifications of dropping packs of snack foods out of a plane in Papua New Guinea.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/mashed-_-potato on 2025-06-04 01:14:24+00:00.

Shortly after my husband and I got married, we started watching criminal minds. Some time later my MIL gifted me a DVD set of seasons 1-15 for Christmas. I’m not one to use DVDs. My husband’s family, including my husband, like to collect DVDs. I just don’t see the point. I find it so much more convenient to just stream. At the time, the last few seasons were not available on streaming, but by the time we got closer to the end they were available. I showed my gratitude, but I ended up putting it on a shelf and not using it.

Flash forward to now, and my husband and I (along with our baby girl) are moving across the country. Moving is expensive, and we are trying to cut down on what we pack. As we’ve been sorting through our belongings, I’ve been trying to figure out what to sell and what to donate. I thought it would be a good idea to sell the DVD set, especially since it was still unopened. I listed it earlier today on marketplace for $60. It sells for around $80 but I listed it for less so that I could sell it before moving.

Here’s where my mistake comes in. There is a button that hides listings from friends. I did not click this button.

Just a little bit ago my husband received a text from his mom asking about it and requesting that if we aren’t going to use it that we give it back to her. So idk what we’re gonna do now. We might just have to figure out a way to get it to her even though she lives several states away and we are very busy with moving. My husband said he’ll deal with it.

TLDR: I tried to sell a Criminal Minds DVD set on facebook marketplace that my MIL gifted me. She saw my listing and is now upset and wants it back.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Zyncon on 2025-06-04 00:02:12+00:00.

Not today, but a few years ago.

My family and I went to Disney World and did the 3-day, 3-park thing. We've never been and this was a first large trip for a park. We started off at Animal Kingdom and like always, Florida was hitting 90 degrees with brutal humidity. It was still 50 degrees back at home so we were all instantly melting out there.

About 20 minutes in to walking the park, we saw a cart sitting in the middle of the walkway with a big tub of ice water but no worker in sight. I asked my dad how we get them and he either joking or seriously said, They're free with the admission, just grab one".

I took that at face value and ran up and grabbed a bottle for each of us. While I was doing that, another family came up and asked how much they were. I obviously didn't know so I just repeated what my dad said "They're free!". They started grabbing bottles too. Then a third family saw all of us helping ourselves and grabbed bottles too. One by one, people trickled in and grabbed a bottle for themselves.

30 bottles later and more people walking up, the cart attendant finally shows up and starts asking for money to the new family that joined the hydration heist. We were still standing nearby enjoying our ice cold stolen water and quickly walked off pretending it never happened.

TL;DR Family and I went to Disney World and accidentally started a water bottle looting spree because my father told me they were "Free with admission" and I passed this info on to other innocent families.