Today I Fucked Up

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Berlinase on 2025-06-26 20:08:54+00:00.

As you might've guessed I am a pa. I studied something unuseful and ended up in assistant jobs.

One of my very, utterly simple job is to book a hotel room for my boss for her annual meeting. Because I am a foreward thinking person, I booked her favourite hotel 6 months in advanced. I booked her the train ticket with the windows seats, just how she likes it. I printed and mailed her all the meeting tickets, as she likes to have both digital and printed. Today I even checked the train connection if it is going as scheduled, which it did. Just normal everyday assistant tasks, nothing special.

Eeverything seemed to work out perfectly, I wished her a nice ride and told her to call me if she needs anything. Also I gave her updates on stuff she asked for which aren't due to until she comes back but, as I know her, she will check up on these things beforehand, esspecially on long rides. So I came ahead of her and reported to her ahead of time - I did a perfectly fine job as expected of me - I showed that I am good and maybe she will even give me a recommendation for when I apply somewhere else.

Tonigth she frantically called me. I knew I was in trouble because she's not a kind of boss who calls you on out of work hours. She told me the hotel cannot find the booking in their system. I told her that cannot be, I booked the "Atlantic" Hotel where you always go, I have it right here. She said the "Atlantic" is in the city of ... I am at the "Olympic" in...

nonononononononononononononono please no, that can't be happening, please no...

Well, it did happen. I mistook her favourite hotel in city A for her favourite hotel in city B - to be fair they sound similar, but that's no excuse. It is a very busy week in the city, all hotels are book far in advance, the conference starts tomorrow. It is impossible to get a decent place on this short notice. Also, it is already late, my boss had a long train ride, it is very hot outside, she definitely needs rest, food, shower and good sleep.

And I fucked it up.

Obviously I apologized a zillion times, said I will take full responsibility, will accept any consequences whatsoever. It is an absulte no-go. Somebody who is reliant on me to do the simplest tasks was let down big time. I started devistatingly to search for a place somewhere close to the conference center, but nothing was available, not even on airbnb.

I am so dead...

...

After a short while she told me that the hotel she was supposed to stay had a cancellation, which meant my boss was allowed to check in after all. But this It was mere chance, pure luck, one out of 10.000 that this was going to happen, but it did. I still have a booking in another city which I cannot cancel, which means the company is losing money due to that. Esspecially bad now when budgets are tight.

But it showed me one thing: I can be so good in detailled planning, I can double/tripple check any little detail - but I oversee the important thing, the main thing that holds everything in place. I see so many trees in front of me but I don't see the actual forrest. In other words - I play an rp-game and I am doing all the side quests, but I forget to do the main story and I am wondering why I'm still on level 1. It frustrates me completely, because I know I am not stupid, but this, how can this happen?

I got lucky in the event of a mayor fuck up, but I really start to question my intelligence or attention span.

TL;DR My boss went ot a conference in a another city. I booked a hotel for her, but in the wrong city. The whole city was fully booked. But the hotel she was supposed to stay in had a last minute cancelation, and she had a place to stay after all.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/acute_lobro on 2025-06-27 03:12:36+00:00.

I (32F) and my husband (32M) have a 2.5-month-old daughter.

Some context: Our daughter sleeps in a bassinet next to our bed, and I recently set up a video baby monitor pointed at said bassinet. My side of the bed is also very much in frame.

My [modest, religious] in-laws are visiting for the week and absolutely obsessed with their granddaughter. She’s a Velcro baby (wants to be held at all times) so the extra arms have been a lifesaver. We’ve been able to cook, clean, shower, and, you know… exist like humans again.

The fuck up: After proudly showing off the new baby monitor setup, we handed our daughter off to the grandparents for some snuggles and told them we were heading to bed early.

Well. We hadn’t had much alone time since becoming parents, so we decided to seize the rare opportunity and get down to business. Weeks of pent-up hormones, sleep deprivation, and a mutual “I miss us” energy collided in a deeply ungraceful, but passionate, reunion.

Afterward, I glanced up at the camera and noticed the power light. The baby monitor was still on. Still pointed directly at my side of the bed. Still streaming to the receiver.

I made my husband go investigate.

He came wide eyed. Apparently, the receiver was sitting near his parents, screen face-up, video feed active… and sound on.

No one said anything.

I don’t know if they saw. Or heard. All I know is that I’m not leaving this room tonight. Possibly not until they go back home in a few days. Every time I remember what could have been witnessed, I cringe.

TL;DR: Left the baby monitor on during long-overdue sex. In-laws may have gotten front-row seats.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Miserable_Fun_3189 on 2025-06-26 15:08:24+00:00.

So this wasn't on purpose, I swear.

I agreed to dog-sit for some super close family friends while they were out of town for the week. Enter: Peter (not his real name, but it fits). Peter is possibly the most high-maintenance dog I've ever met. He has to sleep in bed with a human, or he won’t sleep. He has his own room—because if you leave him unsupervised in the house while you’re gone, he will wreck everything. He requires constant attention. If you're not petting him, he’ll nose you until you give in. And if you do pet him, you better not stop, or he starts the whole thing again.

Also? He’s not really potty trained. He knows to go outside—he just doesn’t always feel like it.

To make matters worse, I'm apparently highly allergic to something in their house. Every night I spent there, I had coughing fits, sneezing fits, couldn’t breathe properly, and was knocking back Benadryl like Tic Tacs. But I stuck it out because I love this family. They didn’t have another option. And here’s the kicker: I’m not even getting paid. This was purely an act of love (and probably poor judgment).

After a long week of dying slowly and begging Peter to please sleep without being spooned, I finally got a text from the mom yesterday:

“We will be home at midnight.“

I nearly cried. I packed my stuff, gave Peter dinner and a potty break, and finally went back to my house, with my dogs, and no airborne allergens. I went to bed proud of myself—I had survived Peter.

Then I woke up this morning around 10AM and noticed… no “thank you” text. No “we made it home” message. Weird. I checked her last message again:

“We will be home at midnight.” And that’s when I realized… she meant MIDNIGHT TONIGHT. Not last night. Not the midnight I thought meant “they’ll be home early Friday morning.”

I had left Peter locked in his room… for 17 hours.

I bolted over to their house, fully expecting a scene from a horror movie.

Peter? Still alive. But not happy. He had shed what looked like a whole second dog from stress. He had peed. He had pooped. The room was… not okay. But thankfully, he was.

I cleaned everything up like a maniac, got him outside, gave him a treat, and prayed that the family never asks why the Febreze is half empty.

So yeah. TIFU by misunderstanding a text, abandoning a stage-five clinger dog for 17 hours, and proving that I will apparently suffer for free out of loyalty.

Moral of the story: Clarify which midnight people mean. And maybe get a pet-sitting contract next time.

TL;DR: Agreed to dog-sit the world’s most high-maintenance dog for free. Slept at his house all week despite major allergy attacks. Thought the family was returning at midnight last night—they meant tonight. Accidentally left the dog locked in his room for 17 hours. He’s fine, but the room looked like a crime scene. I cleaned it up just in time.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Mistbiene on 2025-06-26 11:59:08+00:00.

So...I keep jumping spiders. I just graduated with a new degree and went to a breeder to reward myself with a new little friend. It was quite a distance by metro, maybe 2 hours, but it was so worth it! My new girl is so fucking cute and very friendly! Of course that doesn't help an arachnophobe seeing her...

I bought fly maggots too, for their food. This is super normal for me. The animals aren't poisonous, cannot escape the packaging, are clean and healthy, with nothing disgusting really.

Unfortunately, I was dumb enough to go to my favorite thrift store which is far from my home too and on the way home, just checking for new cool stuff for fifteen minutes. I found a lovely leather jacket, went to the checkout, and the lady asked to check my bag. Dumb as I am, I didn't warn her that there is a plastic box with about fifty maggots and a second box with a spider in my bag...she screamed like hell and threw my bag on the floor.

Thankfully, nothing spilled, but of course, the manager lady came over right away. They ended up banning me because they thought it was disgusting to bring these things into a store. I don't think so personally, but it makes sense. I didn't even consider that someone might check my bag or that it might make others uncomfortable andnow I feel bad for scaring her so bad. Lesson learned for sure!

defenitely a small fuck-up on the scale of things but still felt the need to share somewhere because it is so dumb!

TL;Dr: I brought my new pet spider and about 50 minutes into a thrift store thoughtlessly, scared the sale lady to death and got banned from the store lol

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Key-Economist-7804 on 2025-06-26 18:37:45+00:00.

So this happened a few years ago when I was living in China for a work exchange. I had only been there for about a month, barely knew enough Mandarin to order noodles without accidentally requesting something with intestines (No racism intended but people love meat and seafood) in China, but I was feeling a little more confident each day.

One afternoon, I’m in a train station in Guangzhou, trying to read the departure boards like I know what I’m doing, when I hear a voice behind me say:

"Excuse me, Do you speak English."

I turn around, and there is a Canadian traveler, backpack and all, looking both relieved and very lost. He tells me he’s trying to get to a place called “Xianggang” by train, and asks if I can help him figure it out.

Now here’s the thing: I had just learned that “Xianggang” is the Mandarin word for Hong Kong. And I knew that trains to Hong Kong did leave from that station. So I light up like a proud little maple leaf and say,

“Oh yeah, I’ve got you! I’ve been here a while. I can help.”

I march us over to a ticket machine, help him buy a ticket (with my extremely broken Mandarin), point him to the correct platform, and send him on his merry Canadian way.

I felt like a hero.

Until three hours later, when I got back to my apartment and started talking to my coworkers about this Canadian I met. My coworker cuts me off and says

"You know there's another place called Xianggang in mainland China."

Not Hong Kong.

Not even close.

He had asked for Hong Kong. I sent this poor man to a rural station in Hunan Province, several hundred kilometers in the wrong direction.

By the time I tried calling the station to fix it (yes, I actually tried), he was already on the train. No phone number. No contact. Just me, sitting in office chair, staring at a map of China and realizing I’d sent someone to the equivalent of “Springfield” without asking which one.

TL;DR: In China for one month, tried to help a fellow Canadian find a train to Hong Kong. Misunderstood the name, confidently helped him buy a ticket to a completely different city. Sent him hundreds of kilometers away in the wrong direction. Haven’t seen him since. Hope he’s okay.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Motor-Presentation76 on 2025-06-26 17:24:00+00:00.

For the last 2 fucking years, I’ve been going into office 3 days a week. Each of those days started with me stepping into an elevator to the 14th floor and ended with me coming off the elevator at the 1st floor. In between there are countless times where I’d use the elevator for lunch or whatever occasion I need to step out for.

Without fail, everytime I have ever been in this elevator alone. I’d do some goofy shit because it’s my own personal space.

Sometimes I’d dance to whatever song is playing in my earbuds, if it’s lil Wayne I’d do throwing money gestures. If it’s benson boon I’d do an air guitar and sing out LOUD - imagine the high note of “PLEAAASE” in beautiful things.

2 years I’ve been doing goofy shit like this, including throwing it back and catching myself doing it and laughing out loud saying “Bruh I’m actually stupid af”

Today, I walked towards the elevators like usual and found myself alone in it once again… so, I Looked at the elevator’s mirror and started posing like I’m in a body building contest. Started yelling out “LOOK AT YOU! Yeaaah! BIG MAN ON THE SCENE! grunt “POSE SWITCH” another grunt “THE MUSCLE! 😩 ” GRUNT “THE DEFINITION! 🤯 “

Then the elevator doors opened so I gave myself the finger guns 👉👉 in the mirror as I regained my composure before I conducted myself professionally as I walked into the office. I know you’re already judging, I would NEVER do this in public but genuinely speaking these little moments brighten up my day sometimes because I get to act aloof. I live my day to day life pretty restrained and this is one way for me to ease up the tension a bit.

Outside of that elevator I swear to god you would NEVER expect this from me. I’m so stuck up at work and know the corporate lingo to a fault. I’m the guy who talks about action items, meeting agendas and product life cycles.

I greet everyone with a good morning and “have a wonderful night!”…including security.

Well today as I left the office a bit earlier than usual. The security clerk spotted me walking towards the exit from a distance and I shit you not he yelled out word for word “PRAH! BIG MAN ON CAMPUS!”

The way my face flushed

I said “Pardon me?”

He said “Oh sorry I was talking to my colleague”

“Oh…”

“Have a good night!”

Gives me finger guns

Bruh they can fire my ass IGAF , I am NEVER working from office again until he retires at least.

TLDR: Forgot about elevator cameras and acted like a goofball for 2 years while security was eating popcorn.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/No_Needleworker_9224 on 2025-06-26 14:49:47+00:00.

So, for a bit of context about a few weeks ago, I under went surgery to shave off a portion of the bone in my heal and remove a portion of damaged tendon after suffering for the past 3 years. After a few weeks of being unable to move around, I was gifted a lovely walking boot which meant that I had discovered freedom once more. I was told repeatedly by my friends, not to do anything stupid, to ask for help and to take it easy. Did I listen? Of course I didn't

During the time stuck in a cast, my mother taught me a wonderful coleslaw recipe and needless to say I became addicted. VERY ADDICTED. It got so bad I was eating this delicious creamy concoction daily. When I got back home after getting the boot, I was determined to make that coleslaw myself so I got on the local bus into town to get the ingredients I needed to make this irresistibly tasty coleslaw by myself. After collecting the ingredients, I took the bus home and this is where the story really ramps up. As we approached my stop I rang the bell. Once. Twice and the bus driver ignored it completely and continued to travel down the road to the stop further away. Hey, no biggie, I'll just make sure I get off at the next stop. Well as I went to leave the bus, I instinctively put out my bad foot first and the bus driver hadn't lowered the air pressure in the bus so as I stepped down, I felt a pop in my tendon, followed by a agonising new pain. The bus driver pulled away and I was left stranded with groceries and no way of walking home.

This led to a funny text message to the very friends who had told me to take it easy, as they came to save me and bring me home, followed by a long conversation about how I just couldn't have waited and how irresponsible I had been whilst they took me to the nearest hospital. Luckily despite the pain and concerns, my tendon was still in tact and I was given more pain killers to help with the pain.

I am now banned from making coleslaw and leaving the house.

TL;DR: Whilst coming home from grocery shopping, I almost ruptured my tendon by stepping onto the pavement with my bad foot and was bullied by my friends for my stupidity.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Status_Asparagus_854 on 2025-06-26 13:23:41+00:00.

I (22M) have a huge crush on this girl from work. She’s funny, gorgeous, and casually mentioned last week that she loves spicy food. Naturally, my dumbass decided this was my opportunity to shine.

So today, I brought in some Carolina Reaper hot sauce I ordered online. Dumb move #1. During lunch, I offered her a dab on a chip. She tried it, said “That’s pretty hot,” and then looked at me.

Ego inflated, I said “Pfft, that’s nothing,” and dumped a quarter of the bottle on my sandwich to flex. Dumb move #2.

Thirty seconds in, I lost vision. Sweat poured down my neck. I hiccuped. My body straight-up rejected the sandwich. I tried to power through, then full-on vomited into my trash bin… in front of her.

She patted my back and said, “You didn’t have to almost die to impress me.”

I have never felt more emasculated and flattered at the same time.

TL;DR: Tried to impress crush with world’s hottest hot sauce. Ended up vomiting in front of her.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Agent_of_evil13 on 2025-06-26 02:36:14+00:00.

This happened a few years ago but I saw something that reminded me of it.

I got my associates degree pretty late for reasons not relevant. I had been working in facilities maintenance and as a mechanic for years but I needed that degree to get the next step in my career. So I went to community college at 28 with 6+ years of experience in the field already. That was an interesting experience because 3/4 of my class mates were right out of high-school and the rest were like me, or switching careers.

So, in one class we were doing a hands on wiring of a 3phase motor to a motor starter. Everyone got our own station which was essentially an electrical cabinet with the rails already installed. We had to grab our parts, make the plug, then wire everything up.

I have done this 100s of times already. I started barely paying attention, because this was practically muscle memory. It felt like I was at work, which is where the problem started. The language in an industrial maintenance shot can be... colorful. The team I was working with at the time was very fond of good natured (and not so good natured) ribbing.

So anyway, I got in the zone and I overheard a conversation between a couple of the high-school kids. I don't remember exactly but it was something like this.

M: "I can't do this"

C: "What's up"

M: "What if I did this wrong. I don't wanna break anything. "

C: "M, you should believe in yourself."

(My auto snark subroutine kicks on instantly without missing a beat) Me: "Because no one else will ya fucker."

I looked up from my station and everyone was staring at me. I realized I said that out loud and I wasn't at work... Oops.

I apologized to him later.

TLDR; I told a kid just out of high-school with confidence issue that no one believes in him.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Capital-Stay4423 on 2025-06-26 03:36:13+00:00.

I've been constipated for a couple weeks and met this cute girl through hinge. She checks all my boxes. We hung out and grabbed lunch one day as a meet and greet and agreed to meet up again. We've been texting since then and agreed to meet earlier in the week than planned. I want to make us a picnic and hang out by the river. Got all my ingredients after work and decided, "Hey, haven't had prune juice in a while and it'd be great if my mind wasn't focused on cramps all day."

I started taking swigs from my 1,38L jug. Weird quirk is I actually like the taste. An hour or two of video games go by and I hadn't realized what I'd done. I drank about 25-28oz of prune juice. Not knowing a single cup or 8 oz is the daily recommendation. The stomach is making the rumblies.

Oh no.

I hit up the washroom. Everyone's asleep in the house, and I start BLASTING. It didn't feel awful? Just a torrent of liquid coming out every 5 minutes. One last blast and I hoped it was over. My stomach wont stop rumbling, but I legit feel lighter. Gotta get to sleep but kinda scared. Might've sabotaged my date tomorrow if it doesn't resolve in the next 10 hours.

TL;DR: drank too much prune juice, destroyed my bum, and worried about first date tomorrow as a result

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Best_Rip_2385 on 2025-06-26 02:43:24+00:00.

I had gone to the grocery on my lunch break to snag a bag’s worth of ingredients. I drive home, settle in, and after a bit, start cooking dinner.

Halfway through, I realize I’m missing the jar of garlic powder I had purchased. Running out to my car reveals it had slipped out of the bag and was in my passenger floorboard. I bring it back to my kitchen, relieved to have my favorite seasoning restocked.

Distracted by my meal prep, I go to remove the plastic seal over the mouth of the jar. I have no nails, courtesy of a life-long nail-biting habit, so out of reflex I use my teeth to nip the edge of the seal and rip it off.

Now, we’re in the middle of a mega heatwave, and the garlic being left in the car apparently caused it to heat to the point the air inside the jar expanded.

Meaning my little plastic container of garlic powder has become, in effect, a garlic grenade.

I pull off the seal and a cloud of garlic powder rushes out of the opening. A seasoning sandstorm sweeps into my mouth, and a blizzard of garlic coats my shirt like a grainy bib. My eyes sting. Thick wisps of garlic sear my nostrils.

I start to gag and stagger over to the sink, though my dog, previously waiting hopefully for a dropped morsel from my meal prep, nearly trips me as she tries to “help” with my obvious distress.

I end up spitting out a mouthful of powder and rinsing my mouth multiple times as I wait for the seasoning overdose symptoms to pass. My nose is running, my eyes watering, and I keep gagging involuntarily, while my cats come over to sniff at me, wrinkle their noses in distaste, and strut off in judgement.

Once the disgusting taste is gone, I change clothes, as I reeked like an Italian restaurant’s dumpster. Unfortunately, I discover garlic powder everywhere I go in the kitchen. Like when you’ve gone to the beach and keep discovering sand in every crevice of your car, garlic has made its home in the recesses of my kitchen. No matter how much I clean, I’ll turn around and more garlic will settle into tiny garlic dunes on the counter, the stovetop, the floor, and the shelves.

On the bright side, I’m probably super safe from vampires now!

TLDR: Due to a heatwave, my jar of garlic powder was under pressure and essentially exploded all over me and my kitchen.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Maleficent-Wave1993 on 2025-06-25 21:58:22+00:00.

So this happened about a week ago but the shame is still raw.

My boss just came back from paternity leave and brought his newborn into the office for a short visit. Everyone gathered around to admire the baby. It was one of those classic office scenes with people cooing and saying how beautiful he was.

Now here’s the thing: I panic when I don’t know what to say. So when it was my turn to say something about the baby, I nervously chuckled and said, “He kinda looks like a little Winston Churchill, doesn’t he?”

Silence. Like, absolute silence. Even the baby stopped making noise. My boss just stared at me and awkwardly said, “...he’s three weeks old.”

I tried to explain I meant it in a cute way, like, you know, all babies kinda have that wrinkly, wise look but the damage was done. A few coworkers laughed but it was not a good laugh.

I haven’t been fired. Yet. But I definitely got a few emails about “professionalism in the workplace” forwarded to the whole team the next day.

TL;DR: Called my boss’s newborn a wrinkly old British man. May be on thin ice now.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Particular-Guava-323 on 2025-06-25 19:35:12+00:00.

This afternoon, my coworker was startled by the discovery of a very large, dead bug in a bucket of sanitizer. I actually rather enjoy insects, and while everyone else was revolted, I found the big fellow quite fascinating. I couldn't recall having ever seen this type of bug before, and I took a quick picture before disposing of it so I could identify it using Google Lens (it was a huge fishfly, for anyone curious).

My boss later asked if I'd happened to take a picture. He hadn't gotten a good look at it, himself, and he was curious to see it and get an ID. We don't take too kindly to bugs where I work, and I suspect he was interested in knowing if this large, winged intruder might be the first sign of an impending issue. While he stood looking over my shoulder, I opened my gallery to show him the picture I'd taken.

I'm sure that anyone can take a decent guess as to what sort of thing happened next, based on the title. But we're going to pause and rewind a bit for proper context. You see, this morning, my coworkers had been discussing our previous boss. She was a loud, pushy, and very unprofessional woman (not that I work in a particularly professional environment to begin with). She had a regular habit of slapping our asses, among other rather inappropriate behavior. This was the topic of conversation between my coworkers. One girl asked a more recent hire if she'd ever been shown the infamous photo of a bruise that our old boss had left on my butt cheek after an especially aggressive slap, and she said she hadn't. Of course, I showed her the picture. It's heavily cropped, but still very much a clear picture of my bottom.

Obviously, you know what happened next. I, a young woman, opened my gallery in front of my 65-year-old boss. What came up was not the big, creepy bug picture. Instead, we were both suddenly confronted with an alarmingly clear image of my full, bare ass adorned with a lovely hand-shaped bruise. I immediately blurted out, "I'M SO SORRY, [NAME]!" He went bright red, spun around, and shouted, "NEVER MIND!" And he rushed to the back office. I crumpled to the floor in tears of unstoppable laughter, absolutely mortified. We did not make eye contact for the remaining 30 minutes of my shift. I might need to transfer to a new location.

TL;DR: Tried to show my boss a picture of a bug. Showed him a nude, instead.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/shaunthesquirrel on 2025-06-25 19:22:43+00:00.

On holiday in Cologne, Germany, went for a run to keep the ol’ cardio going

All going well until I tried to dodge some pedestrians by a blind corner, took a classic “man look”.. stepped straight out into the cycle path and BOOM.. got absolutely levelled by a girl on a bike.

I’m sprawled out like a sack of spuds, flapping out apologising repeatably like a right muppet, and she just gives me that look as if to say .. “are you actually brain-dead?” , eventually after 10 seconds of processing what happened she said “alles gut” and rode off.

No broken bones, just a bruised ego and a strong dose of British shame. Honestly, feel like the world’s biggest pillock.

TL;DR: Went for a run in Cologne, blindly stepped into a cycle lane to dodge some pedestrians, got absolutely clattered by a cyclist. Apologised like mad, looked like a total prat.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/icefroggies on 2025-06-25 19:51:58+00:00.

I've been trying some of the local food spots lately and posting little reviews on my story like nothing crazy, just like how good this food tastes or the ones I had a bad experience with. I didn't think anyone will take me serious tbh i just enjoyed doing it. Only reason I've been eating out so much is because I had some wild luck with entertainment recently and figured why not explore the food scene instead of living off sad desk salads.

But I was wrong turns out a lot of my followers, living close to me have been using my reviews to pick what they eat and now I'm getting DMs asking about specific dishes. The breaking point was when this lady stopped me at the grocery store to thank me for saving her from terrible takeout because apparently my story about that sketchy Chinese place prevented her from ordering there 💀

Then yesterday some dude recognized me at Starbucks and asked if I'd tried the new taco truck yet. BRO I just wanted my overpriced coffee in peace like now I'm paranoid that random people are watching my every food move like I'm running some influencer cooking channel.

Now I feel this weird responsibility to actually try everywhere or I'm letting down my followers?? I didn't sign up to be the neighborhood food oracle but here we are 🤷‍♀️

TL;DR I casually posted food reviews for fun and accidentally became the neighborhood food expert. Now people recognize me and expect recommendations.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Competitive_Newt_259 on 2025-06-25 18:38:18+00:00.

A few months ago I got nostalgic about the whole custom ringtones trend that was popular back in middle school. So I played around on my phone, found the setting and tried out a few until I got bored. Didn't bother resetting because my phone is always on silent anyways, so I figured there'd be no consequences.

Fast forward to today. I've got my headphones in, blasting Dear Maria, and in a deep focus on some CAD work when my music abruptly cuts out...

A few seconds of noise cancelling dead silence...

(nightmare sing-song Portal turret voice) "Helloooooo! Is anyone there?"

I don't often have nightmares, so it's been a minute since I jolted upright in a cold sweat quite this violently. Much to the bewilderment and general concern of my coworkers lol

TL;DR: Pranked myself with a time-delay jumpscare by forgetting my custom ringtones.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Any-Satisfaction-645 on 2025-06-25 16:11:18+00:00.

I went out with some friends and had more drinks than I planned and then got dropped off around 2 a.m. I live in a townhouse complex where all the units look basically the same and being slightly drunk with the lights low definitely didn’t help at all. I confidently walked up to what I thought was my front door. It was already open a crack which didn’t seem that weird in the moment (I figured maybe I forgot to close it fully before going out or something), so I just went in like I owned the place.

Well a few seconds later I heard footsteps coming down from upstairs. My heart dropped when I saw my neighbor (he) who was shirtless and pretty much half asleep while also holding a gun in his hand. We looked at each other straight into the eyes and after about two very tense seconds he recognized me and just started laughing out loud (today when I talked to him he said that he laughed because he could smell the alcohol in me and knew I was drunk). He is a very very good neighbor and I knew he'd be super chill about it like he even walked me back to my place like I was a drunk toddler who wandered off. I apologized about ten times and told him I owed him a bbq and I promised it wouldn’t happen again.

TL;DR: I fucked up by almost getting shot because I went to my neighbor's house while being drunk. Also, quick tip: if u don't want me to enter your house at the middle of the night please lock your doors thanks

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/KaruKahree3 on 2025-06-25 15:42:33+00:00.

So it’s been hot right? And I work in a truck with no AC for about 5-8 hours a day.

I’ve not been hungry but mostly thirsty so I’ve been doing nothing but drinking and maybe having fruit and crackers.

Well I got off work yesterday with extreme pain in my side, told my husband and he panicked because it sounded just like his experience with appendicitis that he had when he was younger, so he drove me to the ER.

After some tests it was discovered that I was just extremely backed up. Like so full of poop it was clogging my intestines and causing the intense pain. I was given some strong laxatives and electrolyte drinks to get etc etc…

My husband was laughing his ass off saying I lied when I told him I wasn’t full of shit. I’m so embarrassed. Remember to eat something with fiber wven in this heat guys.

TL;DR

Instead of bursting appendicitis, I was bursting with poop

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/tatizera on 2025-06-25 14:03:50+00:00.

Today I made a huge mistake at work that’s still haunting me. My manager sent an email asking for feedback on a recent project, and I quickly typed a private reply with some honest criticisms. Instead of hitting “reply” to just them, I hit “reply all,” sending my unfiltered thoughts to the entire team, including senior management.

The email wasn’t malicious, but I was pretty blunt about some mistakes and frustrations that probably should’ve stayed between me and my manager. As soon as I realized, I panicked and sent a follow-up apology, but I’m worried it’s already affected how people see me.

Now I’m stuck anxiously waiting for any fallout. I’m afraid this could hurt my reputation or chances at future projects. Has anyone else ever accidentally “reply all” and lived to tell the tale? How did you handle the awkwardness afterward? Is it possible to recover from a mistake like this or am I doomed to be “that guy” forever?

TL;DR: accidentally hit “reply all” with blunt feedback meant for my manager only, now worried about how it affected my reputation at work.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/tuesday-next22 on 2025-06-25 03:07:39+00:00.

I'm completely horrified about this, but let's go. Before I start the story I want to make clear that I believe that everyone, no matter what gender they identify with, is equal. The second thing you should know is when reading just pretend my name is something like Muhammed and I'm a brown man. Lastly you should also know I'm not the smoothest person socially.

Okay, so I work at a gigantic company, and as part of my job I sometimes meet with consultants or other companies that want our business. We had put something up for tender and a group of 10ish consultants came in to present. At the very start, they walked in, some shook my hand (didn't pay attention to who), and plesentaries were exchanged. They presented, we asked questions, they were done.

After the presentation small groups broke out as they were leaving where we chatted a bit more. I was talking with 5 of them 2 men, 3 women. At the end one guy stuck his hand out, so I shook it, then the next guy in the circle stuck his hand out, so I shook it, then I looked at the next person and no hand came towards me and I was like "well that's weird I guess she doesn't want to shake hands", and then we looked at each other very awkwardly and said our goodbyes, the next 2 women got the same since their hands didn't come out and I did not initiate.

This felt super awkward, and maybe I'm over thinking, but maybe these consultants get like cultural etiquette training that says ladies don't shake hands with brown dudes named Mohammed? Idk. I resolved that me as a socially awkward person would shake the shit out of any consultant ladies hand the next time this happened in case I had come across as sexist.

Lo and behold, last week I went to a conference and saw one of the same women, along with 2 guys I did not know. I walked up to the group and said hello. She introduced me to the two guys, who yes, stuck out their hand, I shook it, and they introduced themselves. I then turned to her, and no hand came out. I thought to myself "this is the moment I've been waiting for I'm going for it".

Now there are two problems at this moment. 1. If someone introduces you to two people, do you really shake the someone's hand? idk. 2. See all this over thinking I'm doing in my head? the conversation has already started.

Anyway after shaking the guys hands they asked me what I do where I work, instead of answering, I say "ummm" and stick my hand out for a handshake she looks at me like a weirdo so I say "I forgot to shake your hand" she shakes it awkwardly and says "yes good to see you again". Then the guy, who also looked at me like a weirdo reasks the question.

At least she knows I shake hands I guess?

TL;DR I didn't shake hands with all the women consultants a few months ago. I resolved that would never happen again since they might think I'm sexist. I ran into one of them again, and shook their hand mid conversation cause I'm slow, creating something even more awkward.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Sad_Variety_5063 on 2025-06-25 07:39:41+00:00.

I (33M) had my first colonoscopy this morning. I was super anxious, hadn’t eaten in 24 hours, and was already mentally checked out from reality.

When the nurse wheeled me into the pre-op area, she was very kind and professional. We chatted a bit and she said, “Don’t worry, you’ll be in good hands. I hope everything goes well and you get some rest after. Enjoy your colonoscopy!”

My dumbass, running on zero sleep and a gallon of Gatorade, just reflexively replied:

“You too.”

There was a beat of silence.

Then she laughed. I mean really laughed.

She had to stop pushing the bed for a second and wipe tears from her eyes. She said, “That’s a first. I’ll let the doctor know you want him to enjoy it, too.”

I was mortified. Still am. The anesthesiologist walked in shortly after and just said, “So I hear you’re a giver.”

TL;DR: Told the nurse “you too” after she wished me a good colonoscopy. She still laughed while I was being rolled into the OR.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Solid-Newspaper-847 on 2025-06-25 07:38:16+00:00.

So this happened two nights ago. My wife and I were watching a movie on the couch, eating leftover steak and fries. She had just taken a big bite and leaned back into me. I was half paying attention to the screen and half scrolling Reddit when I suddenly heard her let out a weird, low moan. Like… a suggestive moan.

Naturally, being the idiot husband I am, I responded in kind. I leaned in and said something along the lines of “Oh, is it that good, baby?” and kissed her neck.

She SLAPPED me. Like, full palm, across my chest.

That’s when I realized she wasn’t moaning. She was CHOKING.

On a piece of steak.

She jumped up, gasping, and stumbled toward the sink, and I completely froze. I stood up, trying to remember what the hell the Heimlich was. By the time I rushed over, she had already coughed the piece out into the sink and was crying and furious and gasping all at once.

I stood there like an idiot, and all I could say was, “I thought you were just into the food.”

She didn’t talk to me for an hour.

TL;DR: Thought my wife was moaning over her steak, responded flirtatiously. Turns out she was choking. Nearly let her die trying to be sexy.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/WarriorWolf21 on 2025-06-25 00:07:42+00:00.

This happened today by the way! So I am on vacation In Michigan (Hello Michiganders!) and my family and I have done a few hikes while up here. This state is gorgeous and I have genuinely enjoyed my time up here until today.

It is important to note that I have an extremely short bowel due to having NEC surgery as an infant so when I digest food it goes through me slowly at first but then rushes through my shortened colon rather quickly. It still takes me a while to digest food though.

I think today will be an easy and chill day so I enjoy my breakfast, and later lunch. Suddenly my dad asks if my brother and I want to go for a hike. We both agree and I think nothing of it.

We arrive at the trail and I still feel good and don’t feel any urges to use the restroom. My dad says that it is a multiple mile hike and we all are excited to start. We park our camper, get out, and then look at a couple map routes we can take. We decide on the 3 mile route as we feel like it will give us a challenge but also wouldn’t be too long for us to walk.

We get started and everything feels good so far. I’m enjoying being in deep in the woods when suddenly I feel it. A gurgle escapes me and I feel a bit of pressure. Oh no no no not now! My dad then informs me that we are 1 mile in. Shit, there is no way I can make it. I keep pushing through though as the pressure keeps getting worse.

Suddenly the pressure is so intense I can’t take it anymore. I tell my dad I have to use the restroom, and now. He quickly looks around and finds me a somewhat hidden spot in some trees. I speed walk through the thick leaves and tree branches and balance myself on a log as to where my ass is hanging off. I quickly yank down my shorts and let it loose. The relief I feel when I expelled it all out of me felt magical. I finish, clean myself up, and then walk back into the trail. I felt 5 pounds lighter, it was amazing. We continue the hike without any further issues and successfully make it back to the camper. Moral of the story is know your body and always at least try to go before doing long or strenuous activities! Lesson learned!

TL;DR: Didn’t use the restroom before hiking a 3 mile trail, had to shit in the woods on a log near my dad and brother.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Horror-Ad-5039 on 2025-06-24 22:58:17+00:00.

This literally happened three hours ago and I'm still embarrassed.

So I'll tell you what happened, I work remotely and today we had a big team meeting on Zoom - about 40 people including my manager, his assistant and some VP who I'm 100% sure thinks I'm an unpaid intern.

The meeting is dragging on. I'm starving. I think I'll just quietly grab a bag of chips from the kitchen. The camera is off. The microphone is off. I'm a master of my craft, I'm not going to sit hungry and listen to boring reports.

I go to the kitchen, grab some chips, come back, sit down at the computer and suddenly my manager asks me a question about the reports, I turn on the camera and microphone, answer all the questions and they leave me alone. But I forgot to turn off my camera and microphone, I took the chips, I open them and the sound of the chips opening was so loud that everyone went silent, and I opened the chips so hard (because I was hungry as a dog) that they flew all over the room. I started picking up the chips, realized that the microphone and camera were on and I felt really awkward. They also saw my underwear because I didn't immediately realize that the camera and microphone were on.

The VP just stops and says: "Well, I'm glad someone is having fun."

I've never felt so embarrassed in my life.

Anyway, I'm quitting my job and changing my name. Thanks for your time.

TL;DR: Tried to steal chips during a Zoom call, chips exploded, microphone and camera on, became the office clown in exactly 3 seconds.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/K1ngZ3no on 2025-06-24 20:34:39+00:00.

May this come as a warning:

I picked up what I thought was gonna be a refreshing jug of cranberry juice, from my local walmart.

Oh, it hit the spot just right, and on this sweltering, 95° day I could barely get enough.

Everything was going exactly as planned for probably about an hour. I continued my bike trek of probably 5 or 6 miles. And took refuge in some shade and laid down to cool off.

It felt like gas, but i'm much too wise to trust a fart. My rumbly tumbly was making me aware that shit was about to go down.

It was a few minutes before I found a restroom but I did arrive in time.

I sat there and became the ugliest fountain for probably five minutes. At least long enough to google, my questions about cranberry juice ingestion, and confirm my fears.

It's hot, i'm sweating, and I just put all of my hydration in the toilet. I still had another six miles to go home.

I was very fortunate when I stopped at the skate park and someone with a pickup truck was kind enough to run me to 4 miles I had left to get home.

This honestly could have ended way worse. I am sincerely posting this as a warning to anyone who likes cranberry juice as much as I do. Stay safe out there!

TL;DR: Cranberry juice contains sorbital which is fine and dandy in smaller quantities? But when you drink a gallon it will wreck your system.