Today I Fucked Up

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/LongAd4250 on 2025-06-29 19:12:54+00:00.

So I (22F) live with my roommate Sarah (21F) and we've been cool for like 8 months now. Her boyfriend Jake comes over literally every single day and I'm starting to lose my mind. Like he's here when I wake up, he's here when I get home from work, he's eating our food and leaving dishes everywhere. I swear he lives here more than I do and he doesn't pay rent.

Yesterday I finally snapped because I came home and found him using my laptop without asking. I told Sarah this isn't working and Jake needs to limit his visits to maybe 3 days a week max. She got super upset and said I'm being controlling and that it's her apartment too so she can have whoever she wants over.

Now she's barely talking to me and Jake hasn't been over since which honestly feels amazing but also I feel kind of guilty? Like maybe I should have talked to her about it earlier instead of letting it build up. My friend thinks I was totally reasonable but my sister says I was being a bitch about it.

I don't know, am I wrong for setting boundaries in my own place? I pay half the rent but now I feel like the bad guy. Sarah keeps giving me these looks and the vibe is so awkward. Maybe I should have just dealt with it?

TL;DR: Told roommate her boyfriend can't be over every day, now she hates me and I don't know if I was wrong

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Straystar-626 on 2025-06-29 18:04:53+00:00.

So my fiance had hernia repair surgery 4 days ago, and he's been home for a day and a half. Surgery went perfect, his pain is manageable, he's doing so amazing he doesnt need too much assistance.

We have his recliner set up in our bedroom so he doesn't have to constantly be in bed. Its an old chair and needs some servicing, when you lift the feet and lean back for a full recline occasionally the back doesn't catch and it halfway tips over. Not a big deal when you can lean up on your own.

He fell asleep in his chair last night like he often does, so I woke him to check pain levels and let him know I was running to the grocery store. I was gone almost a half an hour. He texted me while I was driving home but I don't check texts while driving.

I get back to our bedroom and he is in full turtle mode; he went to recline all the way back not long after I left, the back didn't catch, he couldn't lift himself up because his belly was split down the middle. He had tried shouting for my parents (we live with them, we're both disabled) but it was early, they weren't awake, and they both use hearing aids. He had been stuck there the entire time I was gone and was rightfully upset. I got him up easily, but by that point his pain was raging.

He's not mad at me, but I've been kicking myself all day over it.

TL;DR: I left my fiance alone, he got stuck in his tipped over recliner after surgery, and it made his pain levels spike bad. I feel like an ass, hopefully one day we can look back and laugh.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Equivalent_Hippoo on 2025-06-29 16:04:50+00:00.

I’m 28, living with my girlfriend, let’s call her Emma, for two years. She’s great, handles my clumsiness well. I trip over rugs, lose my keys, that sort of thing. My family’s similar. Dad fell off the roof fixing shingles. Mom broke a lamp trying to swat a fly. Grew up in a small town, always the kid dropping his lunch tray in the cafeteria. Emma finds my awkward stories amusing, says they’re part of my charm. Yesterday, we had a nice day. Ate at a diner, walked by the river, had takeout on the couch. Night came, and we felt close. Our bedroom’s small, with a noisy ceiling fan and just a bit of streetlight coming through. It was very dark, hard to see anything. We were having sex, caught up in the moment. I tried to lean closer but misjudged her position. My arm swung out to balance, and my elbow hit Emma’s temple. Hard. She went still. I panicked, heart racing, reaching for the lamp. Knocked it over first, then turned it on. Emma was unconscious, eyes closed, not moving. I shook her, calling her name, voice unsteady. Ten seconds later, she blinked, dazed. “Ow,” she said, touching her head. I apologized over and over, feeling awful. “I couldn’t see you, it was too dark.” She gave a small laugh, said I knocked her out. Her temple was tender, but she was okay. I got her water, an ice pack, and kept apologizing. She teased me, told me to stop flailing. We’re getting a nightlight now.

TL;DR: Had sex in a dark room, swung my arm clumsily, and knocked my girlfriend unconscious for ten seconds with an elbow to her temple. I’m not cruel, just uncoordinated.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/judeejubilee on 2025-06-29 01:24:38+00:00.

I’ll back- track a bit, I (f) started dating my bf about 9 months ago. We’ve know each other for a very long time. We’ve both had other partners before we got together. He told me he gets cold sores on his mouth from time to time. He’s only had 1 or 2 since we’ve been together. He usually takes valtrex on the regular to also help with an unrelated skin condition he has. He stopped taking this medication some time ago and hasn’t had any issues. We were last intimate a few weeks ago (unprotected). He had no signs of an outbreak at the time.

Fast forward to earlier this week. I bought a scented toilet paper, not thinking anything of it at the time. A couple of days ago, I noticed some tenderness on part of my labia majora. Then I noticed a sore. Today, I noticed multiple sores. I went to urgent care. The doctor said they are blisters and poked one with a needle to get a sample of fluid for testing. Said it looks like HSV. I have never had an issue like this before. Now I have a prescription for valtrex and have to wait a few days before results come in to know for sure.

Struggling to process, feeling humiliated and dirty. I’m worried he might think I was unfaithful because of how long it had been since he & I were last intimate together.

TL; DR: thought scented tp caused sores on my labia, turns out, might actually be HSV

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Grand-Pie-9212 on 2025-06-29 00:51:27+00:00.

TL;DR:TIFU when I had the amazing idea to try gummies with my girlfriend. We were on a nice date getting some sushi and had a decent wait time at the restaurant. We went outside and I happened to notice a vape shot next door. I then had the amazing idea to pick up some gummies for the two of us. Mind you, my girlfriend has never tried weed, and she never will again after what came later.

Anyway, the guy working at the vape shop recommended a couple of options for us, a red flag I should have paid attention to, and one of the options was a big bag that said "850 mg" on it. I haven't had any gummies in years and I thought to myself, "That's not too crazy but we don't need that many". So I did some math, thinking it was 850mg for the full bag, and purchased two gummies.

We had a nice dinner, got home, and decided it was time pop these gummies in and just relax. Except we didn't... I was fine but I look over at my girlfriend and she was clearly panicking. It was at this moment that I tried to move to help her and I couldn't talk. What I didn't know is that we were both greening out... bad.

Time started feeling unstable and we were both hyperventilating. I then started hallucinating that I was drowning and when I finally "surfaced" I woke up and threw up on myself. We both then crawled out of bed and started crawling toward the bathroom. I finally forced out the words "cold" and "water" and she nodded that she understood. We got to the bathroom and I threw up again as I was undressing to get in the shower.

We both then got in the cold shower and laid on the floor. We were both in and out of consciousness for what felt like forever and I thought we were going to die. There were several moment where I'd feel my girlfriend shake me awake b/c I would just stop breathing. Eventually we started fading out of it and looked at clock, and to our surprise we had been in the shower for 11 hours! We both felt sick and just wanted to go lie down but the room was still spinning.

A little bit of rest and we're both fine but you best believe that I called the vape shop. Here comes the best part, the shop owner answered, I told her what happened, and she said, "omg those did the same thing to me!".... Suffice to say we will not be returning to this vape shop and we will not be trying gummies again any time soon.

Quick addition: To be clear I DID NOT intend to give my girlfriend an 850 mg gummy for her first time. I didn't want to take that much either. I thought the full bag was 850mg so one would be a much, much lower amount. I asked the guy if just one of these would be okay for someone's first time and he said "yes". I know now that I shouldn't have trusted it.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/wtf-m8 on 2025-06-28 17:10:47+00:00.

Out of town at a hotel for a conference, high speed Internet and mobile phone in hand, step into the dry shower at the end of a long day at work downstairs. Using the provided lube (conditioner), my work was done in short order.

I then turned on the shower to warm up and went back into the main room to put down my phone.

Here's the fuck up- we all know, or should, that the best way to clean a protein-rich, goopy substance, does not involve hot water. In fact, hot water just leaves the slippery proteins while washing away the water soluble parts.

Forgetting this, I boldly stride into the glass-walled shower only to nearly break my damn legs and neck as I slid in from one side to the other on what felt like warm ice, barely catching myself on the shower grip handles. Now my foot hurts.

TL;DR: masturbated in shower and slipped on my own hot load, nearly hurting myself very badly.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/RatBerryMilk on 2025-06-29 02:13:46+00:00.

This just happened tonight and I am unwell.

So I’m a seasoned reptile keeper. I’ve got multiple animals, I know my stuff, and I’ve always fed frozen thawed—always. Not just because it’s safer for the snake, but because, frankly, I’m not a sick bastard who enjoys watching animals die. I love my reptiles, but I also have a soul. So when I got my new sunbeam snake, Goblin, and was told he only takes live, I was already stressed.

Tonight I went to the shop to pick up ONE fuzzy rat. Hoppers were too big, so I ended up with two fuzzies in a stapled shut paper bag like I just ordered a sad meal from Hell’s Drive-Thru.

I get home. I’m sweating guilt. I prep the enclosure, drop the rats in, and back away like I’ve just committed a war crime. Goblin doesn’t even come out. He stays buried in his hide, presumably judging me from the shadows.

Meanwhile, these two little albino rats are just… living. Sniffing around. Doing rat things. They’re soft. They’ve got tiny pink hands. One of them licked me. LICKED. ME. I sat on the floor, silently spiraling.

I told myself I’d give it an hour.

After an hour, Goblin still hadn’t shown up—but I was on the verge of crying. So I scooped the rats out, whispered “you’re safe now” like I rescued them from a Dickensian orphanage, and set them up with a janky little rat snack bistro from leftover bird food and desperation.

Now they’re curled up sleeping like it’s the best day of their lives. Goblin is still in hiding. I’ve left a frozen thawed offering to maybe right my wrongs here lmao. I am emotionally wrecked. I guess I’m a rat mom now.

TL;DR: Tried to feed my sunbeam snake live fuzzies for the first time. My conscience couldn’t handle it. Pulled them out, set them up, got emotionally mugged by two albino rats. Goblin is debating his frozen TV dinner. I have sons now.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Z-ComiX on 2025-06-28 22:48:05+00:00.

I study architecture at a graduate level, it can be a very stressful day to day and physically demanding as most grad students can tell you. I’ve found Siri, for all its faults, to be useful for scheduling things, making calls and texts and just asking quick questions while my hands are busy building models, drafting plans, or writing my thesis. For fun I thought to set my name to a custom name, telling Siri to call me “Master Architect Zee,” as I could use the confidence boost and a reminder of my goal, albeit very vane. It was like having my own little Jarvis pepping me up!

Well fast forward, we are having a grad class meeting in the studio. Nothing unusual just prepping for the next assignment. If I remember I think the teacher asked if someone could convert a dimension from meters to feet, and being the dork I am said “let me as Siri” and pulled out my phone. Well you can see where this situation was going and halfway through siri starting it’s response, I figured out what was about to happen. Well not wanting to embarrass myself in front of my peers and be called “Master Architect” I of course cut the response off midway, however I did not account for the much worst outcome of Siri getting cut off and calling me just “Master”. Now I have about 13 people in my class who think I’ve set my phone to call me Master, all while I’m mentally cringing bc people already know I watch anime so now I’m probably the weird anime guy, all the while I’m babbling trying to explain myself.

TL:DR set Siri to call me “Master architect Zee”, forgot, asked siri something on speaker in front of my class, remembered what I did, overcorrected and cut my phone off right after it called me “Master”.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/get-my-brown-pants on 2025-06-28 05:47:47+00:00.

Technically not today (this was back in 2015) but most certainly a fuckup.

I'm partial to a good drink, and I'm also an enjoyer of various spicy foods, to the point of growing Carolina Reapers in my own garden. (Great for chili, btw. Adds a nice, fruity heat.) So a combination of the two should be fine, right?

Yeah, about that.

Being a mid-twenties guy with questionable decision-making skills, I came across a habañero Bloody Mary mix in an American import store. Being from NZ, you don't see this kind of thing often, so I decided to pick it up. Can't be too bad, right?

Cut to about a month later, and I'm at a party hanging out with some old friends. I'd brought along the Bloody Mary mix and a bottle of vodka. I'd also made the executive decision to drink this tasty concoction out of a gigantic champagne glass, making it look I was drinking from a portable tomato soup lake the entire time. Night ends without a hitch, and I decide to sleep off my alcoholic haze. Woke up at 7am the following morning with a standard hangover and a desire to be back at home in my own bed. I fired up the shitbox (lol) I had at the time, and began the journey home.

So, the place I'd been the previous night was about 35km away from my home at the time, or just under 22 miles. Combine NZ's volcanic, hilly landscape and labyrinthine rural roads and you're looking at a 30-35 minute drive on a good day.

It was 5 minutes into this drive that a sharp, terrifying pain shot through my gastrointestinal system and landed square inside my rectum. Instinctively, my cheeks clenched. Sweat began popping out in beads all over my face, giving me the look of a glazed ham. The desire to unleash a cayenne-forward ass blast became my number 1 priority.

I was in the middle of nowhere. No-one was coming to help me with the 13th labor of Hercules my sphincter was about to go through. I was determined to avoid the embarrassment of dropping my trousers and showing the nearby cows I could hang just as good as the rest of them. What lay ahead was the most intense test of my will and determination I'd ever faced. My baptism of anal fire. I was staring into the abyss, determined to avoid the brown eye staring back. The road twisted and wound through the countryside, almost as if it were vicariously taunting me for my foolishness. With each minute, my body trembled more and more with increased pressure. My hands gripped the steering wheel, knuckles so white they'd put mayonnaise to shame.

I could have stopped at any of the gas stations I passed on the way home, and yet I didn't. Why? Because I knew that the moment I stepped out of my vehicle, I needed an obstacle-free path to the commode. Any possible delays would risk the dam breaking and drowning the residents of Crotchopolis. I needed to reach home, where a clear, unbreakable path to the bathroom waited for me to break the land speed record. Against all odds, I pulled into the driveway and turned my car off. I probably looked like a disheveled beige raisin, hair plastered to my forehead, sweat dripping off my body in buckets.

I don't remember what happened on the way to the bathroom. All I remember is once I entered that fortress of solitude, I ripped all possible clothing off my body and threw myself onto the seat, finally hitting the release valve that had been threatening to break for the past 30 minutes.

What happened next was an unholy explosion, accompanied by a roar that would have sent any 3 year old in a 500 metre radius fleeing in terror. There was no solidity to this movement; there was only liquid. Foul, viscous and reminiscent of a sulphuric mud pool, but infused with the demonic spirit of the Bloody Mary from the previous evening. In between bursts of colon calamity, I made a mental note to not trust one fart for the next two weeks out of an abundance of caution.

I came out of that experience a changed man. Curled on the bathroom floor was a pallid, shrivelled husk with 30% of his body weight missing, all while the toilet emitted a malevolent fog that was not dissimilar to mustard gas.

I slept for 12 hours and vowed to never touch that unholy mixture ever again.

Tl;dr: Drank a habañero Bloody Mary and gave myself life-altering diarrhea.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/N0Sab0kid on 2025-06-28 21:04:44+00:00.

☝️ Put a finger down if you Have ever gone camping, and out of nowhere you need to take a dump. So you go and squat behind a tree, and come to find out that you forgot to grab the toilet paper from your truck, so you do it the old cowboy way and grab the nearest leafy plant near you to fight the brown trout, and almost immediately your entire life flashes in front of your eyes because your chocolate starfish is now simultaneously in pain and burning. In the brief clarity that you have from the spasms your asshole is pulsating to, you look at the the plant you chose to wipe yourself with, and then you remember the rhyme you were taught in 3rd grade about poison Ivy "Leaves of three, let it be!" And the plant next to you have three leaves. ✊

TL;DR: TIFU by wiping my arse with poison ivy, in a moment of desperation.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Throwawai14718 on 2025-06-28 09:39:28+00:00.

I had surgery yesterday and couldn't shit before, even though I already felt it. Yesterday after surgery I had a bladder catheter so I couldn't get up. Everytime I sat up I was dizzy too. 1h ago I got rid of the Catheter and went to the bathroom with the nurse. I wasn't dizzy at all, no sickness or anything. I sat down and tried to start the process. Unfortunately due to the narcotics it didn't work, so I started pushing harder. That's when I felt I get dizzy. I stopped but got even dizzier so I called the nurse and used my last energy to flush and encloth myself. She arrived just before I blacked out and started to slap my face while talking to me. Woke up on the bathroom floor on my knees, surrounded by two nurses and a doctor. They brought me back into bed with a wheelchair and now I'm ok again

TLDR: Had surgery and pushed too hard when taking a shit and blacked out by it eventually..

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Previous_Score5909 on 2025-06-28 13:41:57+00:00.

Obligatory happened yesterday but had been in the making for a long time. For years I have had an unhealthy obsession with shoes. Think Carrie Bradshaw on a slightly smaller budget. The sky high stilettos were what I wore every day. Even in the snow I had my heeled boots. I could drive a manual transmission in my heels! I was dedicated! I amassed such a beautiful collection over the past 20 years. Truly exquisite pieces of art. Everyone told me for years I would regret it. Everyone. Fuck them. What do they know? I know my body. I know my tolerance. I know what I like. And I love my shoes and the way they make me feel!

Well for the past 10 years or so, I noticed that my toe/s would crunch when I walked. It got bad enough that 4 years ago I retired my heels to more conservative boots and booties with a low heel. Well the crunching only got worse. It got to a point where my gait was affected bc I couldn’t stand properly.

So off to the doc I go. New doc btw bc my previous one retired. New doc took full history and asked a million questions. Then she asked about my shoe collection. Strange? I felt my face light up with joy and sadness at the same time. I’ve mourned the loss of my beauties locked away in the closet. Once I finished my word vomiting, doc looked at me and said “Hon… have you ever heard of a hammer toe?”

My heart sunk. I knew what that meant. Big blocky shoes. No heels. Nothing fun. And that it possibly meant surgery. Doc said it’s pretty bad and referred me to a surgical podiatrist while she splinted my toes up and explained the eventual surgery that I would need.

Guess we’ll find out just how bad I fucked up when I see the specialist. It was a 20 year long fuck up in the making, but TODAY I learned that I truly did, in fact, 100%, fuck up.

And the worst part?? They were all right. Every single one of them. I was just the idiot. Albeit a damn good looking idiot.

TL:DR wore high heels for 20 years and didn’t listen to anyone who told me I would regret it. Doc said I might need surgery to fix my fucked up toe bc I can’t stand up straight.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/gaming_hipster_101 on 2025-06-27 19:30:42+00:00.

I (19F) am a big horror movie fan. I’ve been watching the entire conjuring universe is story telling order. Anyways, last I decided I was going to watch the next movie in the franchise after work. For context I worked the night shift and I live with my mom. So I come home, take my dog out, eat something, and shower by the time I’m done everyone is in bed. I still wanted to watch the movie so I went upstairs to grab my 18inch dolls. I grabbed them because I was watching Annabelle and thought it would be funny to have them watch it with me. We settle down to watch the movie and about half way through my mom comes downstairs. My mom can’t sleep well some nights so it’s nothing new. Since the lights were off my mom couldn’t really see into the living room where I was. When the scene changed to allow more light in the room, my mom jumped out of her skin and screamed before she realized it was me. In the process she woke up my brother, who came running out of his room and downstairs freaked out. When everyone calmed down my brother and I bursted out laughing. My mom still freaked out whisper shouts “What the Hell are you doing! It’s 2:00 in the fucking morning!” This makes me laugh harder. I tell her that I’m watching Annabelle. She gives me a funny look then asks why my dolls are down here. I told her it was so they could see what they could have been. She shakes her head then walks away. My brother heads back upstairs and continue watching my movie. So that’s how a scared my poor mom in the middle of the night.

TLDR: I was watching Annabelle with my old childhood dolls in the middle of the night and scared the living shit out of my mom when she came downstairs.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Lanky_Reaction_5871 on 2025-06-27 17:35:42+00:00.

Hey reddit, new poster cause i’ve never had a reason too but now i do. this morning i (23F) checked my boyfriends phone. i know already stupid decision. i’ve never done something like this i usually trust the person completely but something was off. he showed me a photo of his longtime ex to see what she looks like now and was calling her ugly and that she let herself go after they broke up. she looked really good and was working out in most of the photos. after that we had a great night but i couldn’t shake the feeling that he wasn’t being honest with me or just trying to make me feel better. i have a lot of self confidence i never think im bad looking but it was weird. so this morning a call came through his phone and the name said kat, which isn’t his ex’s name. i had the password and got curious. after looking for a bit and didn’t find anything so i decided to look up my name in his messages to see what he’s said about me. this is where i fucked up. i saw his friends were talking the night i met them first and how i blew off one of his friends, this was a month before we started dating. they said i wasn’t even a “10” which is fair, they said a 6.5. but my now boyfriend said that i was even lower, body a 6 but face a 3. then proceed to send pictures of his long time ex and say that’s what he’s looking for… do i confront him, leave, or just act like i didn’t go through his phone at all. he’s amazing to me and ive fallen for him quickly but is it worth my time. TL;DR i checked my boyfriends phone by typing in my name in the messages, he called me ugly to his friends a month before dating me then sent a photo of his ex saying that’s what he’s looking for. help?

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/emilyeffy on 2025-06-27 17:25:28+00:00.

I've been having a stressful time at work, plus the early hours have thrown off my sleep schedule, so I'm running on fumes. Asked my boyfriend to do "the big shop" this week hoping he'd choose some convenience type meals he usually enjoys, but he had other plans lol.

After he had cooked a few of the more involved meals, and all I had contributed was "mac-n-cheesesteak bowls", I was feeling guilty and wanted to do something a little nicer. He had picked up chicken thighs and mini potatoes so I figured that was perfect, low effort with maximum home-cooked-goodness results!

No.

The potatoes weren't small enough so I chopped and tossed them in seasoning and oil, chucked them in the roasting tray. Thighs are bone-in, so I debone and pat them down with some paper towels. Forgot the onions! Think "fuck it, use the same knife and cutting board it's all getting cooked together anyway". Plop the onions on the potatoes and swirl them all around by hand, lick my finger to check they got enough secondhand seasoning WAIT.

SHIT SHIT SHIT WHY'D I DO THAT?!

My hand and the onion are absolutely coated in chicken juice!

PANIC!

Frantically grab the nearest thing to wipe my tongue. Gold star for you if you guessed it..

The fucking paper towels I used the pat down the thighs. Rubbed that shit ALL up and down my tongue, nice and thorough, really scrubbed that sucker.

WHHHHHHHYYYYYYYY?!!

TL;DR: Licked my dirty, raw chicken prepping finger. Tried so solve that problem by deepthroating an even nastier paper towel. Hate myself lol.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Solid_Journalist_855 on 2025-06-27 15:11:56+00:00.

I was at a three-day leadership conference for work, and my company put everyone up in a nice hotel. The first night, I was wiped out and crashed hard after dinner.

Apparently, I had a very intense nightmare where I was being chased by a bear. According to the people staying next door, they heard me scream, “RUN! HE’S GOT THE AXE!” followed by loud crashing sounds (I fell off the bed and knocked over a lamp).

They called the front desk because they thought someone was being attacked.

Security knocked on my door at 2:13am. I opened it half-asleep, still sweaty and confused. Had to explain it was a nightmare. They asked if I was on anything. I said melatonin and spaghetti.

The next day at breakfast, I was the talk of the table. My coworkers now refer to me as “Bear Guy.”

TL;DR: Had a nightmare about a bear while at a work conference and screamed loud enough that hotel security showed up. I am now known as Bear Guy in my department.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Severe-Branch-3186 on 2025-06-27 13:03:54+00:00.

I (27M) work from home, and I usually take my lunch breaks to recharge by doing weird little things: air-drumming to Metallica, doing fake karaoke, trying to do a single pull-up on my doorframe bar (still can’t).

Well, two days ago, I was deep into a solo air-drumming session, shirt off, full sweat, banging on invisible cymbals like my life depended on it. I had headphones in and didn’t realize I had accidentally rejoined a Zoom call that was still ongoing.

I only noticed when my manager pinged me on Slack:

“Hey George… I think you might want to check Zoom.”

I alt-tabbed. There I was. Full-screen. Shirtless. Flailing. Probably mouthing, “YEAH, MOTHERF*****.” I panicked and left the meeting so fast I hit my knee on the desk. I spent the next 15 minutes just sitting in silence, shirt back on, trying to calculate the exact moment my soul left my body.

Nobody’s mentioned it yet. Which honestly makes it worse.

TL;DR: Forgot my webcam was on during a Zoom call and gave my entire department a shirtless air-drumming concert. HR hasn't emailed... yet.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Ill_Background_9173 on 2025-06-27 12:58:31+00:00.

So my dad (62M) recently retired, and has been more “open-minded” about trying new things. We live in a legal state, and I’ve been using edibles to help with anxiety. He got curious and asked if he could try one “sometime.”

Well, “sometime” turned into last Sunday morning, when he casually reminded me at breakfast that he wanted to try one. I thought, sure, why not. I gave him half a 10mg gummy and explained it takes about an hour to kick in.

Here’s what I forgot: we were scheduled to attend my niece’s church recital at 10:30AM.

We walk in, take our seats, and about 10 minutes into the service, my dad starts swaying like he’s hearing the voice of God directly in surround sound. He leans over and whispers, “Why does the pastor look like he’s melting?”

I nearly passed out trying not to laugh.

Halfway through the choir performance, he stood up and clapped early. Not even polite clapping, full-blown standing ovation. Then sat down and cried.

We dipped out early. In the car he said, “That was the most spiritual thing I’ve ever experienced.”

I am never taking this man to church again.

TL;DR: Gave my retired dad a weed gummy before forgetting we had to attend a church event. He tripped mid-sermon and clapped for Jesus.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Objective-Muscle9676 on 2025-06-27 12:26:27+00:00.

This happened two days ago, and I still want to melt into the floor.

My younger brother (23M) and I (30M) have this ongoing bit where we roast each other brutally. Like, no-filter, could-get-you-canceled level stuff. Think “your face looks like it lost a bet with a lawnmower” kind of banter. We’re brothers, it’s love through aggression.

Anyway, I had just gotten off a rough Zoom meeting and needed a laugh. I took the worst photo of myself, double chin, half-blink, mouth open mid-word, and was going to send it to my brother with the caption:

“Tell me why I look like a haunted toe in this pic.”

Instead, I sent it to my wife. Who was in a very serious meeting with her boss and several execs. On her work laptop, which was screen sharing because she was presenting a document. The text notification and the pic popped up mid-presentation.

She texts me back: “You’re a dead haunted toe.”

Her boss laughed, so maybe I helped? Or maybe she’s updating her resume.

TL;DR: Tried to roast myself to my brother, accidentally sent the pic to my wife who was screen-sharing during a work meeting. My toe is now famous in her company.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/banter_127 on 2025-06-26 16:06:51+00:00.

For context, I have a driver's license which allows me to drive both manual and automatic cars since I learned and passed my driving test with a manual (I'm European).

The last time I had driven a manual was 5 months ago - the day I passed my test and got a license, since then I have been driving an automatic car. I passed my test on the 8th try, before then I had problems with severe driving test anxiety - the worst I have had in my life. I would often be very tense and even had uncontrollable physical leg shakes even when I was doing things I was good at and was performing correctly (I couldn't control my bodily reaction which felt like it came from nowhere...). Despite my mental errors, I passed my test and was happy to be done with all the anxiety it had caused me. Since the time I passed I have been successfully driving an automatic car to school and so on, no accidents or traffic violations to date. This automatic car (I don't know about the others) has the handbrake off at all times and does well with just the parking (P) mode - important for later...

Today I was urgently asked to get a family member's manual car from the repair shop in our town as no one could at the time, so I agreed. I got there and after getting in the car and preparing to drive - I drove off into the main road. The car made some weird sounds as I began driving, I wasn't sure why. I was in the first gear, I checked it. I got into our main town road and after driving less than 20 meters I stalled upon trying to accelerate and get into 2nd gear. As I was attempting to start driving from the first gear, a bus came behind me. I drove very slightly forward and stalled again. The bus braked once again and started beeping, I felt like shit and very sorry for possibly causing trouble as the bus driver most likely had absolutely no idea what I was doing. I drove once again, the bus turned into a bus stop, I stalled once again, a car was behind me, I put out a hand to indicate I was sorry. The driver passed me and looked at me weirdly, rightfully so, and the bus driver drove out of the bus stop while looking at me angrily and probably cursing me out. I once again put out my hand to say sorry. My legs started shaking violently and I was trying to grasp what was wrong, I couldn't get it. There was beeping inside the car as well, it was telling me I was doing something wrong, I still couldn't understand. After another 20 meters, another car passed me as I stalled once again. I was now indicating with hazard lights.

After something like 100 meters I got out of the main town road and got into a residential street, stalled (duh) and finally got into the parking space by the family member's apartment. As I was finishing my parking I finally understood what the problem was... the handbrake was on. I felt so dumb and devastated, I wanted to cry. After my realization I couldn't leave without driving with the handbrake OFF, so I drove a lap further from the residential street without stalling and successfully came back to the parking space, parked and left to go home. As I was going home I immediately searched on the internet if I had caused any serious damage to the car, generally, there shouldn't be anything serious at all as I drove a very short distance at low speed. Once I reached my home, I had a breakdown and got comforted by mom (I am 19...).

Just now I had a conversation with the family member, whose car I drove. I explained what happened, they think it should be okay but will check and inform me if anything is wrong (I am absolutely okay with compensating for anything necessary). I forgot about the use of the handbrake as the automatic car I drive doesn't use it and it is always off. I hope this will be a learning moment for the future and I won't forget to turn off the handbrake when I need to drive a manual.

Let this be a learning curve for me and other new drivers. Hopefully, you won't have to fuck-up this bad.

TL;DR: TIFU by driving a family member's manual car with the handbrake on in our town after getting it from the repair shop and severely stalling throughout the ~500-700 meter distance only to realize the problem upon parking.,

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/dan_in_the_forest on 2025-06-26 16:05:14+00:00.

Started a few weeks ago, when I decided to get healthier after my father, had finally become cancer free and more independent, and I no longer needed to take care of him as much. So I started working out in my room everyday and got a nutrition plan from my brother in law. I worked at a Walmart Distribution Center. I picked up every Saturday and Sunday shift and stayed late every day working in multiple departments to stay 12 hours. Hitting ~70 hours every week. I started eating double the calories I usually would but failed to pay particular attention to only one meal with rice a day. I was definitely eating fruit and vegetables and protein galore. But the amount of rice I was consuming was not the recommended amount in the nutrition guide. Thus leading to constipation and then hemorrhoids. Starting this past sunday, I thought they could be something else. But monday night, I researched and realized what it was. I went into work tuesday and noticed how much worse it was feeling as the day stretched on. So I left early, using my protected time off, and soaked in the tub to get relief. As well as buy Prep H for the nights and following day. Where I truly fucked up, was not realizing the attendance policy is based on a 5 point system not 10. Initially, two of my points came from me taking days off of my own accord. But afterwards, I needed to take more time off for helping my father recover from surgery and chemotherapy/doctors appointments. Backstory: I had been with the company since September of 2024, and started helping Dad in December after the diagnosis. After a few weeks of accumulating points, my old manager recommended start the process of applying for family leave of absence. Because I hadn't been an associate with Walmart for over a year, this was a temporary arrangement. And being an exception for this, due to my work ethic and kind manager, I was granted it. But accumulated over 5 attendance points previous to it taking effect. Present: Fast forward to 3 weeks ago, my father is now doing well, and I find myself wanting to improve my own life. IE the start of the story. So after giving myself hemorrhoids, I took yesterday off an an attempt to get better sooner. Only to be called into the office a couple hours ago, today, and told that Walmart would be parting ways with me. TL;DR: I thought I could take a day off to rest my hemmoriods and try to improve my health. Then was told my points were allowed to go over the maximum of 5 because I was helping my father. Giving me the false security that I could afford a day off for myself

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/bandkrayzee on 2025-06-27 03:26:53+00:00.

My house is from the 1950s and as such, some of the plumbing sometimes sags a bit. In the summertime especially sometimes SOMETHING in my bathroom smells of sewage. Sometimes it's my sink, sometimes the shower, sometimes the toilet.

A few weeks ago I had some BAD sinus drainage so I took some peppermint oil into the shower to help me breathe again, and it's kind of stayed there since.

On to today's fuck up. Needed a shower, but the bathroom funk smell was back, so I poured four or five drops of peppermint oil into each drain. Then I closed my toilet and set my clean clothes on it for my shower.

I didn't open the toilet up again for hours. I forgot the peppermint oil was in there. I went in to take my pre bedtime shit, and the oil had arrosolized. My dearest Redditor, I don't know how familiar you are with peppermint oil. It covers up unwanted smells very well, but it's best used in very small doses. In a diffuser. Maybe in a different room. That shit will fuck up a mucous membrane, hence me using it to try to clear my sinuses in the shower. It is downright painful on any sort of sensitive skin, like an ass. Or vagina.

It hurts to walk. Or to exist. But hey, at least it doesn't smell like poop.

TL;DR; peppermint gas bombed my ass and vag, and now existence is miserable until my nethers fully air out.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Berlinase on 2025-06-26 20:08:54+00:00.

As you might've guessed I am a pa. I studied something unuseful and ended up in assistant jobs.

One of my very, utterly simple job is to book a hotel room for my boss for her annual meeting. Because I am a foreward thinking person, I booked her favourite hotel 6 months in advanced. I booked her the train ticket with the windows seats, just how she likes it. I printed and mailed her all the meeting tickets, as she likes to have both digital and printed. Today I even checked the train connection if it is going as scheduled, which it did. Just normal everyday assistant tasks, nothing special.

Eeverything seemed to work out perfectly, I wished her a nice ride and told her to call me if she needs anything. Also I gave her updates on stuff she asked for which aren't due to until she comes back but, as I know her, she will check up on these things beforehand, esspecially on long rides. So I came ahead of her and reported to her ahead of time - I did a perfectly fine job as expected of me - I showed that I am good and maybe she will even give me a recommendation for when I apply somewhere else.

Tonigth she frantically called me. I knew I was in trouble because she's not a kind of boss who calls you on out of work hours. She told me the hotel cannot find the booking in their system. I told her that cannot be, I booked the "Atlantic" Hotel where you always go, I have it right here. She said the "Atlantic" is in the city of ... I am at the "Olympic" in...

nonononononononononononononono please no, that can't be happening, please no...

Well, it did happen. I mistook her favourite hotel in city A for her favourite hotel in city B - to be fair they sound similar, but that's no excuse. It is a very busy week in the city, all hotels are book far in advance, the conference starts tomorrow. It is impossible to get a decent place on this short notice. Also, it is already late, my boss had a long train ride, it is very hot outside, she definitely needs rest, food, shower and good sleep.

And I fucked it up.

Obviously I apologized a zillion times, said I will take full responsibility, will accept any consequences whatsoever. It is an absulte no-go. Somebody who is reliant on me to do the simplest tasks was let down big time. I started devistatingly to search for a place somewhere close to the conference center, but nothing was available, not even on airbnb.

I am so dead...

...

After a short while she told me that the hotel she was supposed to stay had a cancellation, which meant my boss was allowed to check in after all. But this It was mere chance, pure luck, one out of 10.000 that this was going to happen, but it did. I still have a booking in another city which I cannot cancel, which means the company is losing money due to that. Esspecially bad now when budgets are tight.

But it showed me one thing: I can be so good in detailled planning, I can double/tripple check any little detail - but I oversee the important thing, the main thing that holds everything in place. I see so many trees in front of me but I don't see the actual forrest. In other words - I play an rp-game and I am doing all the side quests, but I forget to do the main story and I am wondering why I'm still on level 1. It frustrates me completely, because I know I am not stupid, but this, how can this happen?

I got lucky in the event of a mayor fuck up, but I really start to question my intelligence or attention span.

TL;DR My boss went ot a conference in a another city. I booked a hotel for her, but in the wrong city. The whole city was fully booked. But the hotel she was supposed to stay in had a last minute cancelation, and she had a place to stay after all.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/acute_lobro on 2025-06-27 03:12:36+00:00.

I (32F) and my husband (32M) have a 2.5-month-old daughter.

Some context: Our daughter sleeps in a bassinet next to our bed, and I recently set up a video baby monitor pointed at said bassinet. My side of the bed is also very much in frame.

My [modest, religious] in-laws are visiting for the week and absolutely obsessed with their granddaughter. She’s a Velcro baby (wants to be held at all times) so the extra arms have been a lifesaver. We’ve been able to cook, clean, shower, and, you know… exist like humans again.

The fuck up: After proudly showing off the new baby monitor setup, we handed our daughter off to the grandparents for some snuggles and told them we were heading to bed early.

Well. We hadn’t had much alone time since becoming parents, so we decided to seize the rare opportunity and get down to business. Weeks of pent-up hormones, sleep deprivation, and a mutual “I miss us” energy collided in a deeply ungraceful, but passionate, reunion.

Afterward, I glanced up at the camera and noticed the power light. The baby monitor was still on. Still pointed directly at my side of the bed. Still streaming to the receiver.

I made my husband go investigate.

He came wide eyed. Apparently, the receiver was sitting near his parents, screen face-up, video feed active… and sound on.

No one said anything.

I don’t know if they saw. Or heard. All I know is that I’m not leaving this room tonight. Possibly not until they go back home in a few days. Every time I remember what could have been witnessed, I cringe.

TL;DR: Left the baby monitor on during long-overdue sex. In-laws may have gotten front-row seats.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Miserable_Fun_3189 on 2025-06-26 15:08:24+00:00.

So this wasn't on purpose, I swear.

I agreed to dog-sit for some super close family friends while they were out of town for the week. Enter: Peter (not his real name, but it fits). Peter is possibly the most high-maintenance dog I've ever met. He has to sleep in bed with a human, or he won’t sleep. He has his own room—because if you leave him unsupervised in the house while you’re gone, he will wreck everything. He requires constant attention. If you're not petting him, he’ll nose you until you give in. And if you do pet him, you better not stop, or he starts the whole thing again.

Also? He’s not really potty trained. He knows to go outside—he just doesn’t always feel like it.

To make matters worse, I'm apparently highly allergic to something in their house. Every night I spent there, I had coughing fits, sneezing fits, couldn’t breathe properly, and was knocking back Benadryl like Tic Tacs. But I stuck it out because I love this family. They didn’t have another option. And here’s the kicker: I’m not even getting paid. This was purely an act of love (and probably poor judgment).

After a long week of dying slowly and begging Peter to please sleep without being spooned, I finally got a text from the mom yesterday:

“We will be home at midnight.“

I nearly cried. I packed my stuff, gave Peter dinner and a potty break, and finally went back to my house, with my dogs, and no airborne allergens. I went to bed proud of myself—I had survived Peter.

Then I woke up this morning around 10AM and noticed… no “thank you” text. No “we made it home” message. Weird. I checked her last message again:

“We will be home at midnight.” And that’s when I realized… she meant MIDNIGHT TONIGHT. Not last night. Not the midnight I thought meant “they’ll be home early Friday morning.”

I had left Peter locked in his room… for 17 hours.

I bolted over to their house, fully expecting a scene from a horror movie.

Peter? Still alive. But not happy. He had shed what looked like a whole second dog from stress. He had peed. He had pooped. The room was… not okay. But thankfully, he was.

I cleaned everything up like a maniac, got him outside, gave him a treat, and prayed that the family never asks why the Febreze is half empty.

So yeah. TIFU by misunderstanding a text, abandoning a stage-five clinger dog for 17 hours, and proving that I will apparently suffer for free out of loyalty.

Moral of the story: Clarify which midnight people mean. And maybe get a pet-sitting contract next time.

TL;DR: Agreed to dog-sit the world’s most high-maintenance dog for free. Slept at his house all week despite major allergy attacks. Thought the family was returning at midnight last night—they meant tonight. Accidentally left the dog locked in his room for 17 hours. He’s fine, but the room looked like a crime scene. I cleaned it up just in time.