Today I Fucked Up

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/VirusFlashy6997 on 2025-08-16 13:39:49+00:00.

I do normally consider myself to be a sensible 40 something year old woman who’s had plenty of piercings in the past and knows how to care and look after them properly… well so I thought.

I had my latest one done March just gone and anyone who has had a cartridge piercing knows that they can be a bugger to heal. Well mine was healing quite well up until really, so I decided to start giving it a clean with the solution you get only to find I had none left. I know Detol diluted down can be used to treat minor wounds so following instructions I decided this would be ok, yes it was working fine up until a couple of days ago.

I woke up approximately 2:00am with my ear in quite a lot of pain so in my half asleep state I stumbled to my bathroom opened the bottle of Detol poured it onto a cotton pad put it behind my ear went back to sleep. When I woke up I was in the worst pain you could think of took the cotton pad off and the skin from behind my ear came away with it. Rushed to A&E where the doctors told me the raw Detol had caused chemical burns which had eaten through the top 3 layers of my skin on the back of my ear.

TL;DR After running out of piercing after care, half asleep I used raw Detol on my ear which caused chemical burns and eating through the top 3 layers of skin on the back of my ear.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/HauntingArtichoke830 on 2025-08-16 00:25:17+00:00.

TIFU by eating a cookie

So I was at a farmers market with my dog and I see a booth selling "healthy cookies". There is a display case full of cookies and a poster next to the table showing health benefits of the cookies like it being vitamin infused

As im passing by, the woman stops me to ask if I want a sample and I say sure. She hands me a small piece of a cookie and I start eating it. Its a little dry but not horrible for a "healthy" cookie and I continue to chat with the woman and about 2 minutes in she stops the conversation, gets a really concerned look on her face, and goes "did you just eat the cookie?"

I get really confused and replied" yeah, you offered it to me?" She replies, "uhm, I wasn't offering to to you, I was offering it to your dog". I look up and across the top of the tent that I neglected to previously look at, it definitely said "_____'s organic dog treats".

I immediately spat out the cookie and started slowly walking away without another word, and once I was good 20 feet away started full on sprinting back to my car mortified

Tl:dr: ate a free cookie sample at farmers market. Turned out it was a dog treat

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/PeachFreedom on 2025-08-15 23:33:28+00:00.

Today it was raining for the whole day. I'm also a custodian at a senior's home.

I was cleaning the inside of one of the elevators and a guy walks in. We have the usual small talk conversation that started out normal.

Him: "How's your day?"

Me: "Pretty good so far. How about you?"

Him: "I just wish it wasn't raining, but I guess we need it."

This is where it became weird. Deadpan, without any emotion in my voice or face, I said:

"Yeah, it's washing away all of humanity's sins."

Just me and him. Alone. In an elevator. And that's what I say.

He stared at me for a few seconds without either of us breaking eye contact, he muttered a "yeah" and then moved his gaze to the floor number display. Cue complete silence for the rest of the ride up. I glanced at him and he just looked so uncomfortable. He wished me a good day without looking in my direction as he walked out.

Why did my brain make me say that? I'm not even religious. Hell, I'm an athiest.

I told the receptionist about it and she laughed her ass off at my stupidity.

I later saw him as he was leaving. We just did the 😐 face to each other.

On my way out I said to the receptionist, "Alright I'm gonna go wash away my sins."

TL;DR: I turned a normal conversation about the rain into a situation where they likely questioned my sanity while alone in an elevator by saying, "Yeah, it's washing away all of humanity's sins."

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/OkBarracuda9464 on 2025-08-15 20:06:26+00:00.

TIFU. I think I accidentally overdosed a cat on insulin. I was pretty sure I did it right but then I found her in a hypoglycemic state. Vet staff contacted owners who (we found out later) gave us an incorrect dosage. I still feel like I messed up because I may have not drawn it up correctly. The problem is, that was at 8 am and I have been taking care of a full kennel of dogs since that time. So I can’t fully remember the whole process step for step. I know I fed her correctly and administered the insulin at the correct time. But I’m worried I drew up too much even with the owners admitting they messed up.

TL;DR: I think I messed up by administering the incorrect dosage of insulin to a feline. I still am not sure if I administered too much even after the owners admitted to giving us incorrect dosage information.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/NakedLycan on 2025-08-15 09:26:59+00:00.

My gf and I were on the plane yesterday when we experienced turbulence. My gf was asleep, but I was wide awake. The passenger sitting next to me looked like she was on the verge of a panic attack. I have to point out that the passenger was young and attractive because her looks contributed to my downfall. I was minding my own business at first, but then the passenger ended up grabbing the armrest when the turbulence got worse. My hand was on the armrest first, meaning her hand was now top of my hand. When I looked at her, she was practically hyperventilating, so to help her relax, I automatically placed my other hand over her hand, sandwiching her hand between both of my hands before telling her a random story about my religious mother, who insisted that I go to church with her this past Sunday so that I could become friends with a Gen Z pastor, who literally said "slay" at the end of his prayer instead of "amen."

The passenger laughed, which made me laugh with her, until I sensed danger and noticed my gf staring at me. My hands retracted faster than an unbuckled seat belt. The turbulence was suddenly gone and the passenger seemed calmer. I explained to my gf what happened, prompting her to respond in her native language, which was not English. She said she closed her eyes for 2 minutes and the first thing she saw when she woke up was me holding hands with a girl who looked like she probably has an Only Fans. She also doubted the fact that there was turbulence, so I stopped one of the flight attendants walking down the aisle, and asked them to confirm that the turbulence happened. The flight attendant confirmed and apologised for any inconvenience. My gf switched to English and told the flight attendant that I was the one who needed to apologise because the source of the turbulence was between my legs. The flight attendant awkwardly walked away without saying anything while my gf put on her headphones and closed her eyes.

Sigh.

Tl:dr A girl on the plane was having a panic attack next to me, so I held her hands and made her laugh to help her relax. My gf, who was asleep during the panic, woke up just in time to witness me holding hands with a girl, who now seemed perfectly fine, which of course got me in trouble with my significant other.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/smandol1 on 2025-08-14 00:59:15+00:00.

Reddit I know I fucked up. I just started a new job last week. I trained all last week and have training this week. On Monday, I showed up to training In the morning, then we went on break for lunch, and I ended up dozing off. My dumbass didn’t set an alarm. You all know where this is going.

I wake up to work calling me asking where I am. I panicked and told them my son had a medical emergency at daycare and I had to pick him up. Now they want medical documentation. Of course I didn’t think about this when I said the lie.

Now I’m wondering if I just forge a doctors note, or come clean about what happened. Either way I’m fucked. If they catch me forging a note I’m definitely fired, and if I come clean I’m fired. Hell maybe I just shouldn’t even show up tomorrow lol. I just can’t believe I did something so stupid I’m literally a single mom I need a job. Reddit don’t be as dumb as me and learn from my mistake

TL;DR fell asleep and missed 3 hours of work on my second week of training. Lied about it now I’m in a pickle.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/nadji190 on 2025-08-13 23:29:35+00:00.

so our final presentation was this week. we’d been working on it for two weeks, and two days before it’s due, one guy in our group says he can’t help anymore because there’s been “a family emergency” and he “can’t focus on school right now.”

we all felt bad for him, so no one questioned it. I stayed up until like 3am finishing his part so our slides wouldn’t look incomplete.

yesterday I was just messing around on my laptop, and for some reason, I did a quick check on the number he’s been texting us from. it links straight to his instagram. guess what he’s been posting all week?

he’s in miami. literally pool selfies, beach pics, captions like “finally relaxing” and “living my best life.”

now the rest of the group wants to confront him, but I’m torn because I don’t even know how you start that conversation without sounding like a stalker.

tl;dr:

groupmate bailed on final project claiming family emergency, turns out he’s been in miami posting pool selfies all week

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/cuteevelvettttt on 2025-08-13 23:42:51+00:00.

This morning was a mess. I was running late, barely awake, grabbed my coffee and headed for the door. A guy’s walking in, we do that awkward left-right dance and I somehow launch my coffee right onto his shirt.

I start apologizing but my brain decides the solution is to grab napkins and start patting his chest like I’m frisking him. About 3 pats in I realize I’m basically groping a stranger before work. I panic, shove the napkins into his hand, mumble something like “uh sorry man” and back out of the shop like I just shoplifted.

Now I’m at my desk smelling like coffee and shame, and somewhere out there this guy’s telling his coworkers about the psycho who assaulted him with napkins.

TL;DR spilled coffee on a guy and accidentally patted him down in public before running away

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/ghostgirl984 on 2025-08-12 18:16:50+00:00.

So, in the psych ward, they take away your phone. Which means goodbye TikTok, YouTube, and every form of entertainment that keeps me sane. Naturally, I had to make my own fun.

this guy on my unit. I dared him to strip down to his boxers, go into the bathroom, and wrap himself head to toe in as much toilet paper as he could get his hands on. The mission come out, walk around the ward, and scream “I AM A MUMMY!”

The man actually did it. He bursts out, TP covering everything but his eyes skipping around the hall while nurses are frantically trying to catch him. I swear at least two people thought they were hallucinating.

I was dying laughing until I realized I might’ve actually screwed him over. Now the staff is probably going to assume he’s “declining in mental structure” or having some sort of psychotic episode, when really he was just committing to the bit.

I just wanted some entertainment. Instead, I might’ve sabotaged someone’s progress report. My bad.

TL;DR No phone in the psych ward, so I dared a guy to turn himself into a toilet paper mummy and parade around. He did it. Nurses now think he’s unwell.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/ginger_pretzel_mama on 2025-08-13 16:56:37+00:00.

Early this morning I decided to go for a walk with my son (4 months) and my husband's doberman, since it was nice out and I figured I could pick up an iced coffee without having to pile into the car, it'd be nice. My 10 year old daughter asks if she can come, I agree and she hurries to get changed and we're out the door, baby strapped into his stroller, still asleep.

We walk for about 25 minutes and I'm just chatting with my 10 year old about various things (when we're going back to school shopping, if she can get a "frozen hot chocolate" from the coffee shop, if she can get a cookie, if the pool boy is back from vacation yet so she can swim before we shut up the pool for the season, yaddah yaddah), when finally the baby wakes up.

He isn't crying or fussing, just starts kicking a little bit and his eyes are clearly open. Daughter asks if she can hold him for a little while, I tell her "sure", reminding her that if he squirms she has to put him back. We keep walking for another 10 minutes.

We get to the top of a slight incline, and the dog decides to do his business in a patch of grass, and while I'm reaching around, balking at the smell and fumbling to get one of the poop bags out of the holder on the leash, I hear a weird sound and- Oh shit! The stroller is rolling away! My dumb ass didn't lock the wheels! Shit!

My brain is going in 12 different directions, I'm hauling my fat ass down this slight hill, nearly stumbling and eating shit on the pavement twice as the dog embarrasses me by only doing a half-trot while I'm sprinting in my mind. There's nobody around so I can't exactly shout "RUNAWAY STROLLER!" and get help from some stranger.

I'm saved by the stroller hitting a pole when it gets to the corner at the bottom of the incline, stopping in its tracks, I get to the stroller, out of breath, red in the face, I've managed to drop my phone halfway down the hill so now I have to double back and grab it AND still pick up the dog shit. I pull the stroller towards me and turn it around, prepared to reach inside and comfort my baby and it hits me all at once: the baby is not in the stroller, I just chased after an empty stroller with the full panic of thinking my 4 month old was about to roll into traffic.

Suddenly I was happy there was nobody around because at least that means there was no one to record me, my only audience was two people I birthed and someone who barks at his own reflection.

I turn around and my 10 year old is laughing at me, walking at a steady pace, still holding the baby. "I was gonna tell you, but I wanted to see how long before you remembered," she says, the look on her face reminded me so much of the times my husband would fuck with me back when we were in college, how a Shenanigans Face can be genetic, I have no idea. I sigh, still huffing and puffing, and tell her to put her brother back in the stroller.

We double back to get my phone and pick up the poop, we trudge another 5 minutes to the coffee shop, I get my 30+ ounces of iced espresso, caramel syrup, mocha syrup, and milk, daughter gets her glorified chocolate milk with whipped cream and a cookie, the dog gets a pup cup, everyone wins.

TL;DR: I didn't remember my daughter was holding my baby and proceeded to look like an idiot running after an empty stroller, almost tripping and falling on my face twice.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/laylamarie3 on 2025-08-12 05:48:26+00:00.

Years ago, I made choices that left scars across my thighs and wrist. At the time, I didn’t think about “future me” now, I hate them every single day. In the summer, I either roast in long sleeves and pants or deal with stares when people notice.

I want kids one day and I don't want them looking at me thinking self harm is okay. It mentally drains me thinking my body is a permanent mark of being a bad example.

I’ve even gone to job interviews fully covered, no matter how hot it is, just to avoid questions. But part of me worries that when I finally land a placement, the work uniform might be short sleeve or shorts and I’ll get discriminated against, maybe even lose out on a job before I can prove myself.

The weird thing is, in my personal life, friends and people I’ve dated have never judged me for them or looked at me differently. But strangers? Whole different story. And fixing them isn’t an option right now laser and treatments are way out of my budget.

The fuck up is that I never thought about how much this would impact my future not just my comfort, but my career. If anyone has miracle fixes on a budget, “future me” would really appreciate it.

TL;DR Didn’t think about how my actions would affect “future me” now I have scars I can’t afford to fix, worry about discrimination at work, and still roast in long sleeves at job interviews.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/sociallyawkward_teen on 2025-08-12 00:07:49+00:00.

My family is still relatively new to composting, but after a successful garden last year, heavier reliance on produce this year, and plenty of backyard space to make compost piles, we've decided to keep a small bucket in our kitchen for composting.

A while back my parents left for a work trip/vacation and the compost bucket was emptied of its goods and the liner on the inside. I did not compost while they were away because of this. I was under the impression that when there was a bag in the bucket, we could put scraps, coffee grounds, and other goodies inside.

So, when they got back home a new bag was put into the compost bucket and I began to put things in there. It started with some peach pits, avocado skin, apple cores, the ends of a zucchini.... And before I knew it, there were at least 20 fruit flies on top of the bucket lid before I even opened it. This felt out of the ordinary, but I figured that we would take it out sooner or later because it usually fills up in less than a week. I also thought that the increase in fruit flies was due to our new fruit haul, as the flies always sneak in with the bananas and peaches.

Well, a week went by and the flies hadn't gone away. The fruit pile had dwindled but the flies grew in number. To be honest, I have no idea how long its been, but I've seen more and more flies with each passing day. I've been sick recently so haven't paid much attention to the bucket anyways. Then today, while I was standing by the compost bucket talking to my sister, she commented on the amount of flies on the wall, cabinets, and surrounding fruits. "Thats so odd.. I thought Mom said we weren't composting this week." My heart skipped a beat. I had completely forgot to check how full the compost was, and if I was the only one putting things into it, then it was long past its regular takeout time.

Before I could stop her, she lifted the lid to the compost bucket. All hell broke loose. A black cloud arose from the opening of the bucket. Flies went everywhere, we screamed, and I think I inhaled a few. Anywho, we eventually took out the compost, swatted at flies for a bit, and laughed it off. I tried and failed to kill them with cleaning spray. Its been a few hours but there are still groups of fruit flies everywhere. I've set up some fruit fly traps and drowned at least 20, but I swear they keep spawning out of thin air. No matter how many I smash they keep reappearing in the same spot. I went to swat at one and suddenly there were three others taunting me. There are five pestering me as I type this. They have managed to spread from the kitchen to every other room in the house. I will never neglect the compost again.

TL;DR: I put food into the compost bucket under the impression we were composting, but the bucket was neglected for a few weeks. Now we have a nightmare fruit fly colony in our house. Don't be like me- take out the compost before the flies find out about it.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/ghostgirl984 on 2025-08-12 18:50:11+00:00.

Since so many people found my psych ward “toilet paper mummy” story amusing, I thought I’d share another time I embarrassed myself.

When I was in the hospital, we had these little white nicotine vapes the kind that don’t produce vapor. I got one, and since I vape outside the hospital too, I was chatting with a few other patients and casually said I call mine my “white rabbit.”

Right then, this like 50 year old guy comes up to me and goes, “You ever kiss a white rabbit between the ears?”

I was confused. I said, “No?” He then pulled his pockets inside out.

I was still standing there ??? Confused while everyone else was laughing so hard they were almost crying. The guy walked away quickly, and I was left wondering what the hell just happened.

About 30 minutes later, it hit me the whites of his pocket liners were the “ears,” and well the “rabbit” was in between. I felt so stupid.

😵‍💫😬 Ps before you ask no I ain't kissed his white rabbit 🤮

TL;DR In the psych ward, I called my vape a “white rabbit.” A guy asked if I’d ever kissed a white rabbit between the ears, then pulled his pockets inside out. I didn’t get it until 30 minutes later the “rabbit” was in between.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/ssg_partners on 2025-08-12 16:40:54+00:00.

I was in a hurry. I noticed some wrinkles on my shirt and thought it's a very smart idea to save time by directly putting the steamer iron on my cloth while i was wearing it. I pulled the bottom of the shirt away from my skin so that it wont touch my skin.

For half a second, the thought crossed my mind: ' maybe, it's not a good idea. If it goes wrong, imagine what a crazy news headline would be - young man killed himself accidentally by ironing his cloth while wearing it'. But then i let that thought go, thinking that obviously it's not gonna burn my skin.

However, the steamer's steam went straight through to my stomach, i felt like someone stabbed my stomach. I quickly put it away.

Went into the shower and put cool water for 5 mins, then a burn ointment. There are 2 inch radius spots and they hurt a lot.

I'm in pain but I'm also laughing at myself for my own stupidity.

TLDR used a steam iron on my cloth WHILE i was wearing that cloth and burnt myself

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/AndieCane on 2025-08-12 09:52:41+00:00.

This was actually last September to about December. SUPER depressing story so maybe don't read it if you aren't in a good mental spot.

Last September I scheduled a removal/replacement of my intrauterine device (IUD) which was due to expire. I had been immensely happy with it for like 7 years and was excited to get myself periodless and baby-less for the next 7. I had friends who told me cautionary stories, I had people tell me reasons they wouldn't, but I was a HUGE advocate for them and was ready to go to that most painful of appointments.

My primary care physician (PCP) didn't do this particular procedure so I was sent to another doctor to remove/insert in the same go (guys, this is SUPER painful if you've never had it done before so understand... there is NO desire to not just rip the whole band aid off).

So I arrive, I'm alone cause my friend who was gonna assist flaked on me... so I'm emotional and a bit tired. When he goes to put it in... it HURTS... but I've only done it once before... it feels worse but I can't really tell... its been 7 years! So I instead just yell out "owwwwwww! That REALLY FUCKING HURTS!"

I later found out that this made it into the notes as "some blood loss, tolerated pain well".

Well next day I wake and go in to confirm shes still there... and... nothing? Huh. Weird! But those strings get wrapped around things and hide so... probably just wait a day and they'll pop back out.

Go to work, take many breaks to deal with the nonstop cramps. I remembered the first time that pain slowly getting less over the first weeks.

About 2 weeks after the pain hasn't really decreased much, and I have a gentleman over... afterwards I ask if he felt anything.... nope.

I believe my exact words were "Hmm. Well that isn't great."

SO next morning I decide I should call the doctor right at opening, just to confirm nothing sinister happened. After chatting with a nurse they tell me to get there in about 30 minutes.

I see the doc (shes different than PCP or inserting doc). She and I are joking, laughing, shes saying "that thing BETTER BE where its supposed to be!". She gets down there.... dead... silence.

She's wiggling the speculum around, I'm staring at the ceiling thinking "Oh my god. I expelled it! This is the first time I've gone to the doctor and had things be WORSE than I thought!". She chats with me, says it probably "fell out" but we should run some tests just to make sure.

3 ultrasounds later (including one "experimental" one, this is all through a very famous and well known medical facility. If you live in the US you've heard of it.) They can't find it and speculum doc is ready to say I lost it and schedule a new insertion.

But HOLD your horses! We must consult with tbe PCP first and make sure she clear that!

PCP says no... we need to be 100%. Send her to a specialist.

Keep in mind that by this point, we are about a month out from that first insertion. I'm drained, tired of waiting rooms, doctors... things poking my stomach and vagina.

So, I don't want to go... but this gyno specialist is the sweetest. She immediately sends me for an xray.

I go that night because "lets just be DONE with this!"

Techs can't tell you what they see, so when he steps out to let me change after, I run behind the partition and take pictures... and I see it. On the left side of my stomach upside down with strings floating around behind it (near where the mons pubis and the leg meet) is my IUD.

I have many, MANY friends who are doctors... I immediately send it to them... they all respond with things along the lines of "...what the FUCK? HOW did that get THERE?!"

Now. Important to this is that I was on cheapie state assisted insurance because I'm poor and can't afford good insurance, but I'm not poor enough to just get the fully funded stuff.

My assumption when they said "all insurances cover birth control insertion and removal" was that it included ANY form of removal.

I was very very wrong. So over the next month the hospital billed me anything varying from 6,000-9,000 (that I didnt have) saying I needed to pay it to have the procedure done.

I raised a stink, called a patient advocate, my employers knew lots of lawyers and they found one to talk to me. Unfortunately med-mal is hard to prove in my state, so despite him being the sweetest, most empathetic guy ever, he couldn't take the case. The hospital board reviewed the doctors own notes and concluded he did nothing wrong (of course). I was at a loss, crying at night, and had to borrow thousands of dollars from family just to fund this thing.

Meanwhile we are trying to schedule the actual surgery.... by the time we manage to get it on the books, we are looking at October 30th.

I tell my job. They begin looking for someone to sub in for me while I'm out for this. They find someone to come in October 30th for a few weeks. Few days later while training this girl, I get a call... they made a mistake scheduling... the doctor isnt available... it will have to be late November.

At this point I can barely walk, I'm in tears nearly daily, and I am at the point where I tell my sister she needs to remove my gun from my home. I tell my bosses I can't come in, I need to go to the hospital.

Now... I am a domestic worker and VERY close to these employers. We talk about sex, drugs, poops, pees, everything.... our struggles... our wins. It was VERY open and I was happy about that. Underpaid, but well loved. So I stupidly tell them that I'm in the hospital on a temporary 5150.

They release me that day, because I dont actually want to die, I just didnt want to keep living with this thing in my stomach. I tell doc we are starting disability leave TODAY, she agreed ententirely.

So I lay around for a week. Get a call from my boss... she asks how I'm doing, and then says that she can't trust my safety and stability in this role anymore, so they are letting me go for cause (no severance... nothing).

So I'm now unemployed, laying around waiting on this surgery. Surgery goes well, it was on top of my intestines wrapped up in some fat.

Then here are how the next months go: End of December- Leave ends and I trial a position with a new, very neurotic family. They decide in mid Feb that it isnt a fit and let me go.

Start a new position beginning officially (with contracts) March 1st. I am not legally allowed to speak much about that job, I can talk about myself negatively though... so I'll say that the review they gave me included "a bit disorganized at times, seems overwhelmed, and has anxious energy." ...I have previously been described as having a steady and calming energy. It ended in mid July because they "decided to go in a different direction".

Through all of this I realized that the stress of the medical issues, the perceived originam "betrayal" of that first job (I'm aware it was a just job, but I was VERY bonded) triggered some severe mental health issues. My inability to meet expectations afterwards was largely due to my ADHD being exacerbated by the stress of everything that happened. I literally became mentally incapable of focusing on my job.

So now I'm back on disability, gaining weight (I was basically RIPPED before this) I rarely, if ever... leave my house. I'm being monitored by 2 shrinks and an MD... and this all started with an IUD insertion.

TL;DR- IUD perforated my uterus, I got fired for being semi-suicidal over the stress caused by the medical issues, then was let go from 2 subsequent positions for reasons that while I cant say too much... are likely related to severe depression, ADHD and anxiety. Now I lay around doing nothing and forcing myself to try because everyone insists I do.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Elfwing on 2025-08-11 14:38:39+00:00.

This happened years ago, but it still haunts me.

Some backstory: Me and my best friend were ruthlessly uncool when we were fifteen. Not in the “oh, they’re a bit quirky” kind of way, but in the “oh, they’re autistic, only watch anime and listen to K-pop, let’s dump their clothes in the PE locker room toilet” kind of way.

Because of this, we thrived on academic validation and spent most of our time hiding in the school library, avoiding all human interaction.

One day, during one of these library hangouts, we found Sweden’s largest baby name website. It let you see the meaning of a name, plus stats on how many people had it. On the front page was a list of recently searched names and a separate one for the most searched names this month.

For fun, we decided to search for a completely ridiculous name no one could possibly have - think something along the lines of “Gorp” or “Poopi.” To our surprise, two people in Sweden did have that name.

Naturally, we decided to make this our new hobby: spamming that name’s search over and over during all of our breaks so it would always be on both the “recently searched” and the “most popular names this month” lists on the front page. We kept this up for two months straight. No sleep. No social interaction. Only spamming.

Then we moved on to a new hyperfixation (I think this was around the start of our Haikyuu phase) and completely forgot about it.

Fast forward five years. We’re older, less depressed, and actually have friends. We suddenly remembered our “Gorp” bit and decided to revisit the website.

That’s when we saw it. There were now seven people in Sweden with that name.

Unless there was a sudden influx of Danish people with ugly names, the only explanation is that our bit actually worked.

So yeah, if you’re Swedish, born around 2015, and your name is ugly… I’m sorry

TL;DR: When I was 15, my friend and I spammed a Swedish baby name site with a ridiculous name as a joke so it stayed on the front page. Five years later, there are five more kids in Sweden with that name and it’s probably our fault.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/DamienLink on 2025-08-11 09:56:21+00:00.

This was not Today but I remember it very regularly and today it came to mind again. So:

I was about 8 when I first learned about 9/11. I’m not from the US, so it wasn’t something we talked about much in school, and until then I’d never even heard of it.

One day in September (Personally, I assume it was on the exact day, just about a decade later, given the news report of it that day) 9/11 was shown in the news, talking about what happened then. I asked my grandpa about it. He told me how he’d seen it on TV waay back when it happened — it was afternoon where we live, and he described watching the news. He also told me, that most people remember where they were that day or when they found out about it.

Well, I remember walking outside afterward, into the big empty fields next to my house, and just… thinking. Little 8-year-old me stood there, contemplating life, imagining my grandparents sitting in their living room, watching TV.

Here’s the thing: my child brain didn’t really separate “the day I learned about something” from “the day it actually happened.” In my mind, the memory of standing in that field was the day 9/11 happened.

So for literal YEARS afterward, if someone mentioned 9/11, I would confidently say,

„Oh yeah, I remember where I was when that happened.“

And I did remember… except I was remembering the day I learned about it, several years after it happened, and also after I was born.

No one corrected me for the longest time (in the End a Teacher did, in front of the Class). Now, every so often, I remember Kid-me solemnly recounting “my memory” of 9/11 to people who absolutely knew I wasn’t alive then, and I want to crawl into the nearest hole and stay there forever.

TL;DR: I told people I remember where I was when 9/11 happens, even tho I wasn’t even alive then.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/ptsrr734 on 2025-08-11 05:13:52+00:00.

I upgraded to my first smart TV a few years ago, a nice 75" Samsung. I don't have cable, I just connect my PC to the TV and essentially use it as a monitor for gaming/movies/TV.

Lately, as I've obtained more 4k media, I've noticed that 4k HDR video looks dark compared to SDR, but didn't think much of it. Well today I decided to fully investigate.

Turns out that the TV is capable of recognizing the type of input device connected to it and has different picture quality setting options that it defaults to for different types of devices. Not all device types can use all the different picture quality settings available. However, as I found out today, you can manually change the input device type in the source settings to something else.

So, I realized that my TV saw my PC and so it didn't offer the full breadth of picture quality settings that it's capable of. I changed the input type to "game console" and the difference was immediate and dramatic. Now I'm getting the full picture quality my TV has to offer with 120Hz refresh rate. Its like getting a new TV all over again.

TL;DR: I didn't realize that the type of device connected to my TV determined the quality of the picture it would show. I've been unknowingly consuming all of my visual media in a lower quality for several years.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/One-Lab-1495 on 2025-08-11 02:08:40+00:00.

So, I (28F) live alone in a quiet little suburb where the only crime we see is someone stealing a garden gnome. I’ve recently moved in and the place is equipped with a pretty sophisticated security system. It's one of those fancy systems that loudly broadcasts "System Armed" or "System Disarmed" whenever it is turned on or off. Frankly, I'm still trying to get the hang of it.

Fast forward to last night, or rather around 3 am earlier today. I was up for a late-night snack and accidentally nudged a window. I failed to remember the alarm was set to 'away' mode instead of 'night' mode. 'Away' mode means everything gets armed, including motion sensors and window sensors.

Boom. Sirens blare. Lights flash. My sleepy brain fumbles for the disarming code but I mix it up in my panic. The alarm continues shrieking, echoing through the quiet suburb, and I'm certain I've woken up half the neighborhood.

Meanwhile, I'm frantically scrambling to call the alarm company to let them know it's a false alarm. On top of that, I'm trying to soothe my terrified cat who is hiding under the bed. After what feels like an eternity, I finally get them on the line and provide my passcode to verify it's me. I'm a sweaty, frazzled mess, but at least it's over, right?

Wrong.

Just when I thought I could retreat back to bed, I see blue lights flashing outside. My heart sinks as I open the door to two very grumpy-looking police officers. It turns out that in my panic, I had taken so long to call the alarm company that they had already informed the police.

It was an embarrassingly awkward 15 minutes explaining the situation - all while in my polar bear PJs and fluffy slippers. They left with a stern warning to learn how to operate the system to avoid false alarms.

So now, I’m here, in the middle of the night, writing this post because I'm too embarrassed to fall asleep and face my neighbors tomorrow.

TL;DR: Accidentally set off my house alarm at 3 am, panicked and took too long to disarm which led to the police showing up. Now I’m the resident ‘Drama Queen’ of my quiet little suburb, with a traumatized cat and a bruised ego.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/LoudLengthiness6452 on 2025-08-11 01:38:48+00:00.

So I just turned 18 and, like a lot of people, I couldn’t wait to be “legal” and do stuff on my own. Right after graduation, I got my first tattoo, something I’d wanted for a long time. No regrets there.

Fast forward three months. I’m talking with my friends one night and they’re talking about getting tattoos. I say, “lemme come with you.” We plan it out, make the appointment, arrange a ride, everything.

The day comes and I’m at the shop. The artist is doing the stencil and suddenly I get this gut feeling like I shouldn’t do this. But everyone’s there, it’s all set up, and I tell myself I can’t back out or I’ll be “wasting everyone’s time.”

So I go through with it.

The second it’s done, I start crying. It’s a big shoulder piece and looks absolutely nothing like the reference I showed him. It’s not even objectively bad, it just doesn’t feel like me. It feels like I’m trying to be someone I’m not, and now it’s permanently on my body.

My friends keep saying I could just get it fixed by another artist, but honestly? I don’t want it at all. So my plan is: as soon as it heals, I’m starting laser removal. I figure it’s better to remove it now while it’s still relatively fresh instead of spending money to “fix” it and then still hating it.

Moral of the story: Listen to your gut. Don’t let peer pressure or “not wanting to waste time” push you into making permanent decisions about your body.

TL;DR: Got pressured into getting a big shoulder tattoo I wasn’t feeling, it looks nothing like I wanted, cried immediately after, now I’m saving for laser removal as soon as it heals.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Outrageous_Daikon209 on 2025-08-10 11:45:40+00:00.

Last night I was supposed to meet up with someone from a dating app for food and drinks. We had messaged a little back and forth and they confirmed the plans day of. But then they were a complete no show.

The waiter at the restaurant was the sweetest to me. I had explained the situation he was so nice to me. After I was over sitting at a table waiting feeling embarrassed he moved me to the bar and gave me a shot. I ordered food because I was super hungry and already there. He kept checking in on me even after being moved out of his section. When I got the bill he had also comped one of my drinks for me. Then on my way out the front desk guy let me know he got me beer to go. He was cute too. Looking back i think he was being more than just nice, but I didn't think to ask the front desk guy if he was single and would want my number until I was in my Uber.

TL;DR: my cute waiter was beyond nice to me after being stood up and it didn't occur to me to shoot my shot with him until after I left.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/chxrryjuliet on 2025-08-10 01:41:08+00:00.

I have recently come to the realization that I have been locking my knees whenever I stand. I'm not sure how long I have been doing this but it has come to the point where my knees are starting to ache.

I just started a job that requires me to stand with little movement for 6-8 hours (with breaks of course) and now my knees feel so weak.

I think it took me so long to realize this because I haven't had a job that required this and whenever I am standing for longer periods of time (say in line at the store) I either put my weight on one of my hips or I am constantly moving around (because I am physically uncapable of keeping still lol).

It's bad enough that putting my knees in the correct position to stand feels really weird.

TL;DR: I'm an idiot who doesn't know how to stand correctly and now I have to relearn how to stand like a normal person.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/KevinAnniPadda on 2025-08-10 01:55:35+00:00.

This happened last night. My wife and I were having some drinks with some neighbors in their pool The other couple in our friend group lives right next door and was out of town.

At the end of the night, we thought it would be funny to go to our friends house, ring the Ring doorbell and moon the camera, so they get the alert someone is at their house and when they check from their phone in a different state, they see our butts.

Right after, we texted them to try to entice them to check their camera. Nothing.

Today we finally heard back from them. They never got the login from the old owner when they moved in. The old owner probably got several alerts of our old asses.

Tldr; we tried to mob our friend doorbell camera but it went to the old home owner.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Squoggs on 2025-08-10 01:43:32+00:00.

This actually happened today.

I love spicy food. My tolerance doesn’t reach any dizzying heights, but I can usually get through very spicy meals relatively comfortably. I had always wanted to challenge myself to eat a Ghost Pepper or even a Reaper to see how I’d handle it.

There’s an incredible independent chicken wing place near me that does various spice challenges, the hottest of which is called “Nil By Mouth”. They don’t advertise the Scovilles on this, but this particular wing requires you to sign a waiver before you attempt it. Few people had completed it without the aid of milk or ice cream. I’ve been to this restaurant a half dozen times and always said I’d try it someday. How bad could it be?

Well, today was that day. My partner, who also has a respectable spice tolerance, and I were going to try it together. Make it a fun little contest to see who could last the longest.

We eat our main meals. Delicious South Carolina BBQ and Maple Habanero wings with Asian slaw. Awesome. Maple Habanero is on the menu as “VERY HOT”. We question their heat classifications because they were very easy. We’re not convinced they’re not overselling the heat on these death wings. It’ll be fine, we deduce.

Out comes the Nil by Mouth along with a set of gloves. The wings are drenched in thick, bright crimson sauce. It smells like pure spice and nothing else, but oddly appetising and makes my mouth water. Waivers are signed to say it’s my fault if I get ill because I was stupid enough to try this. Still blissfully unaware of how bad this could be until a chef emerges from the kitchen, stands across from our table, crosses his arms and grins. “Just to say before you try this… if someone’s already in the bathroom and you start to feel ill, we keep a bucket just inside the door that says ‘Staff Only’” says the waitress. “Is it really that bad?” my partner asks. “It has been,” she laughs. Oh, ok.

We don the gloves. The couples on the tables next to us are watching now. A premonition of “oh god, what have I done” fleets my mind. I start to question if this is a good idea, but the Hell wings are looking at me like the Green Goblin mask. Oh well, yolo init. We count down from three, and bite.

First of all, it tasted disgusting. Like a weird earthy, bitter taste. This sauce is definitely based on an extract rather than trying to actually be palatable. Red flag was waving, but it was too late. However, the spice doesn’t start off too bad. We’re just roasting the dogshit flavour at this point. “Yeah, it’s awful isn’t it,” laughs the chef. Wtf bro, you made it. Probably not actually, I don’t know. We finish the wings.

The spice is building now. All of a sudden, it takes off. My mouth ignites, my lips ignite, my throat ignites. I think someone has literally lit a fire on my tongue. I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m gasping for cool air but every breath makes it worse. My ears start to ring. I’m flapping my hands trying to cool my lips down. It feels like Satan himself has just opened a guided tour of Hell and the entrance is my mouth.

My partner starts to choke. He stands up, leans over the table, trying to breathe in between unrelenting hiccups. Meanwhile, I seem to have lost control of my limbs, scrabbling around my bench with my feet, tears streaming down my face. My body seems to have developed pores inside my pores in a feeble attempt to sweat this shit out. This pain is unlike anything I’ve ever felt to this point. My mouth is excruciating, and my whole body doesn’t know how to cope with it. This is certainly an akin response to going into shock, and it’s just getting worse.

Before we can plea for relief, our lord and saviour the chef has already been and brought ice creams to the table. “It’s on the house”, he says. I think my man felt a tinge of guilt for all the enjoyment he was getting out of this.

I got through three mini milks and a chocolate milk before I started to feel relief. I totally forgot my partner was even there. When I look at him, he’s as red as the sauce itself, his pupils are so dilated I can’t barely see his irises. Usually a man of many words, he looks at me with tormented eyes. “That was no joke,” is all he says.

I ask the chef how many scovilles that was. 7 million, we’re told. Holy shit. I knew that a Reaper was around 2 million, and I thought the sauce couldn’t be much worse than that. What a numpty.

Anyway, after 20 minutes or so, we recover, we go home, we’re all good right? But then it gets worse. And actually, I’m pretty sure this isn’t the end of it.

We’re lying on the sofa watching Off The Hook. My stomach starts to hurt. I drink some milk. It helps a bit. My partner’s all good. I’m sure it’ll pass. I lie back down as it seems to be the most comfortable position right now.

Remember when I said the pain was unlike anything I’d ever felt until this point? Yeah, well turns out I’d find out far sooner than I ever thought what a pain worse than that felt like.

Suddenly, an excruciating, searing pain rips through my stomach. The embers have lighted again, but this time someone’s doused my digestive tract with gasoline for good measure. The Death Wing has been green-lit for a sequel, and this time it’s bringing double the budget.

I’m writhing in pain. My body feels like it’s on fire again. I move to the bed to lay down. It’s no good. No position helps. I move to the bathroom. I lay in the foetal position on the floor inside the shower, wet from the shower earlier, to try and cool down. It doesn’t work. I’m screaming internally, hyperventilating, head light and wavering. I can see the light of heaven and St. Peter’s pearly gates calling my name. I’m actually hoping I do pass out so I don’t have to feel this pain any more.

My partner is freaking out. I can’t speak to answer his questions. I am shaking uncontrollably from the agony I am in. The pins and needles in my hands are so bad that I can’t even move my fingers. I start throwing up on the floor. I manage to tell my partner to turn the shower on. He does. I continue to throw up, the shower floor now swirling with my vomit, fully clothed and now freezing cold. My partner wants to call an ambulance but I know the only way is to ride this out.

Thankfully, it seems that vomiting managed to get enough of the demon spawn out of my system. Gradually, I started to recover. I took a full shower, drank a shit ton of milk and water, ate some bread and now I sit here typing this tale of the accursed chicken wing that made this atheist see Jesus. And this may only be the beginning. You know what I mean.

TLDR: Chose a fate worse than death when I decided to eat a 7 million scoville chicken wing. Don’t do it kids. Or do, I’m not your dad.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/egt143 on 2025-08-09 22:41:57+00:00.

This wasn’t today but i still find it hilarious in retrospect. so in 2020 I had been dating a guy for almost the whole year but because of the pandemic i hadn’t met any of his family yet. his cousin was getting married and encouraged him to bring me as they were all eager to meet me. i was very excited as i’d known him for much longer than we had been dating, knew his parents and sister, but hadn’t had the chance to connect with anyone else. i obviously accept the invitation.

the wedding is coming up and BF’s mom suggests that she take her daughter and I shopping for dresses which i thought would be a fun bonding experience so i agree. now, as a 22 year old who hadn’t been to many weddings, i didn’t know all of the etiquette so when she showed me a bright red dress i said it looked nice and agreed that i’d consider wearing it. i honestly didn’t love it (not a fan of red on me in general, i don’t like to stand out, and it wasn’t my style) but it wasn’t terrible and she seemed so excited about it. she said BF’s aunt would be wearing one similar and she’s be so happy if we matched. as much as i tried to hint at wanting to find other options she just would not give up on this dress so i gave in and we got it.

the wedding day comes, i show up in my bright red dress, and BF’s aunt most definitely is not wearing anything similar, her dress is dark blue and very subtle. i’m immediately a little less comfortable but i figure it’s fine and i find my seat next to BF’s dad who immediately made a comment similar to “wow, bold color! you’ll definitely stand out tonight” (sigh…).

the ceremony was beautiful and after pictures i mingled with a few family members, mainly just small talk, and i noticed a few people giving me odd looks. i figured it was just because i was unfamiliar. soon i was taken to meet the bride and groom. i immediately, very cheerfully, told them how wonderful the wedding was and congratulated both of them saying how happy i was to finally meet them. the groom (the cousin) thanked me and said how nice it was to finally meet me but the bride stood silent for a few moments before flatly and in a somewhat confused tone just said “thank you for coming” and then walked away. i thought her reaction to meeting me was quite odd and i kept thinking about how her eyes were on my dress for almost the entire interaction but i couldn’t figure out what i had done wrong.

well, fast forward three years. BF and i had broken up a year ago and i hadn’t thought about that interaction in ages. until i come across a podcast that was speaking about how offensive it is to wear red to a wedding. apparently this is a blatant sign that you strongly object to the union. well, when i heard this i wasn’t sure if i should cry of embarrassment, laugh at the audacity of my almost MIL, or just sit there absolutely dumbfounded at the fact that nobody who had seen the dress beforehand had warned me.

in any case, that interaction still stands in my mind as one of the funniest, most brutal things that i’ve ever unknowingly done. i will never forget the look of disgust and confusion on the bride’s face that day.

oh, and did i mention this was an italian family? as much as they ended up loving me, they sure knew how to hold a grudge so i’m sure ‘the girl that wore red to their baby’s wedding’ is still a part of the family lore to this day.

TL;DR I wore red to the wedding of two people i’d never met and offended the bride

P.S. i hadn’t mentioned it before, but the groom later insisted that i join the extended family photo… in my gaudy bright red dress. it was the only photo of the entire family and i was not on the edge so i couldn’t imagine i’d easily be cropped out LOL