The Onion

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The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

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founded 3 years ago
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Cousin Wearing MAGA Hat and Fake ICE Jacket Doesn’t Want to Talk About Politics At Memorial Day BBQ (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
11 comments fedilink
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Man Can’t Believe He Has To Download Stupid App Just To Bribe President (theonion.com)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
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Experts Confirm You Are The Only Person On Earth Who Can Safely Text And Drive (babylonbee.com)
submitted 2 months ago by miss_demeanour to c/[email protected]
5 comments fedilink
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DEA Officials Confirm Elon Musk’s Ketamine Habit the Single Most Effective Way to Make Drugs Look Uncool (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
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DHS: South Sudan Deportations A Lot More Humane When You Learn What Stephen Miller Wanted To Do (theonion.com)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
7 comments fedilink
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Pod of Orcas Ignored as Ferry Passengers Marvel at Rare Cargo Ship Entering Port of Seattle (theneedling.com)
submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
 
 

Lucky ferry passengers, who were almost too distracted by a pod of orcas breaching in Elliott Bay, caught a rare glimpse today of a single cargo ship entering the Port of Seattle.

“I can’t believe it! I’ve been wanting to see any sign of normal economic activity and international trade since the Port of Seattle emptied weeks ago due to tariffs and finally I’m seeing it with my own eyes!” said one passenger in a video circulating on social media today of a gigantic rusted container ship gliding into Seattle.

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New Mission Impossible film to feature Tom Cruise escaping from Church of Scientology (newsthump.com)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
8 comments fedilink
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Elon Musk Announces Plans To Step Back From Fatherhood (theonion.com)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
16 comments fedilink
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Teacher Asks What First Graders Want To Be Once Child Labor Laws Repealed (theonion.com)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
18 comments fedilink
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"Grocery Store’s Meat Section Misted With Fresh Blood Every Few Minutes" (veganism.social)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
8 comments fedilink
 
 

"Grocery Store’s Meat Section Misted With Fresh Blood Every Few Minutes"

https://theonion.com/grocery-stores-meat-section-misted-with-fresh-blood-every-few-minutes/

by @theonion

#satire

#meat

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How The U.S. Is Resettling White South African Refugees (theonion.com)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
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New Indiana Law Requires All Porn Viewers To Register As Sex Offenders (theonion.com)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
45 comments fedilink
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Baby Saves Affair (theonion.com)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
3 comments fedilink
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Grandma AirTagged (theonion.com)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
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Gavin Newsom Sits Down For Podcast With Serial Killer Who Targets Homeless (theonion.com)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
8 comments fedilink
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You People Made Me Give Up My Peanut Farm Before I Got To Be President (theonion.com)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
16 comments fedilink
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Artificial Intelligence Could Never Do My Job, Because It Can’t Microdose Ketamine Before Board Meetings (www.mcsweeneys.net)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
2 comments fedilink
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Reaganomics Finally Trickles Down To Area Man (theonion.com)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
2 comments fedilink
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Clips from the Victory Day Parade in Moscow. (i.imgur.com)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
6 comments fedilink
 
 

Cross-posted from "Clips from the Victory Day Parade in Moscow." by @[email protected] in [email protected]

Mirror

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USS Clinton skipper claims he did not have international relations in South China Sea (www.duffelblog.com)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
2 comments fedilink
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MAGA fans preparing to storm St. Peter’s Basilica should Trump lose conclave (newsthump.com)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
37 comments fedilink
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Increasingly Powerful Trans Person Capable Of Using Every Single Bathroom At Once (theonion.com)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
47 comments fedilink
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Mark Carney forced to wear Justin Trudeau mask by Melania Trump (midwest.social)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
7 comments fedilink
 
 

source

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Vatican’s papal conclave kicks off with heated debate about hottest new choirboy (newsthump.com)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
4 comments fedilink
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Most durable Tesla product (midwest.social)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
13 comments fedilink
 
 
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