The Onion

It's an older article, sir, but it checks out.

In a quiet suburban neighborhood where minivans outnumber streetlights, a group of women have been ingeniously disguising their love of wine as a book club. While their intentions may be transparent to everyone else, these winos insist that their guise is a stroke of genius. “It’s a sophisticated literary club that explores classic as well contemporary novels, okay? We don’t have a wine problem. We can stop anytime we want!” said club president, Charlotte Chardonnay, as she poured herself another glass of Merlot. “We appreciate literature just as much as we appreciate a glass of wine filled to the brim. Why not combine the two?”

Read the rest of the article here at TattletaleTimes.com

Shedding light on the possible reasons for a dip in such news coverage, a report released Friday found that school shootings were either way down or too depressing for the media to cover. “Really, there are two possibilities here: It could be that there’s been some remarkable progress on getting guns out of the hands of potential school shooters, or it might be that journalists and editors all collectively decided the problem was too painful and intractable and turned away entirely,” read the report,