The Onion

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The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

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Horrified Taylor Swift Realizes Football Happens Every Year (theonion.com)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

11 comments fedilink

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Switchblade-Wielding Subway Rider Locked In Standoff With Penis-Wielding Subway Rider (theonion.com)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

7 comments fedilink

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‘Woke media is harming our children psychologically’, insists man who is perfectly fine with them doing active shooter drills at elementary school (newsthump.com)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens (theonion.com)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Opinion: Millennials Would Be Able to Afford Homes If They Didn’t Let Older Kids Trick Them Into Giving Up Their Most Valuable Pokémon Cards (hard-drive.net)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Elon Musk Threatens ISS Crash Over X Ban (isglitch.com)

submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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SpaceX CEO claims it's "just a prank" in escalating Brazil dispute

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Opinion: The Fact That the Muppets Only Took Manhattan Means They’ll Never Be “Real” New Yorkers (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

6 comments fedilink

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Slippery Slope: Funk Singer Asking You to Give It to Him One Time Probably Going to Ask You to Give It to Him Two Times (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

26 comments fedilink

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Donald Trump Promises To Bring Fruitopia Vending Machines Back to Public Schools if Elected in Latest Unhinged Rant (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

37 comments fedilink

Until this moment I completely forgot about those things

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Sources Allege Tim Walz’s ‘Aw, Shucks’ Persona Merely Facade Concealing True ‘Gee Whiz’ Tendencies (theonion.com)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Cat Scientists Theorize About Third Type Of Food That Neither Wet Nor Dry (theonion.com)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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'Boneless' pizza can have bones, US court rules (lemmy.ca)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Lucky Astronauts Still Stranded in Space During Election Year (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Francis Scott Key Estate Sends Cease-And-Desist To Trump For Playing ‘Star-Spangled Banner’ At Rally (theonion.com)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Dozens Of Pregnant Women Caught In Hanging Snare Nets Above Texas Hospital Entrance (theonion.com)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Trump Calls Out Arlington National Cemetery For Hazard-Filled Fairways (theonion.com)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Study: Crows Intelligent Enough To Steal Trinkets, But Foolish Enough To Think Material Goods Will Solve Problems (theonion.com)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Husband Asks If Ectopic Pregnancy Good Thing (theonion.com)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Woman Wastes Free Monthly Cincinnati.com Article On Story About High School Golf Team (theonion.com)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Stop & Shop Discontinuing Cigarette Sales Due to Decline in Cool Teenagers (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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AI Pilot Leaves Air Force for Southwest Airlines (www.duffelblog.com)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

0 comments fedilink

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Disney lawyers sneak ‘unmanned aerial drone strike for anyone sharing login details’ clause into Disney+ T&Cs (newsthump.com)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Local Prankster Hacks Kroger's Price-Gouging AI, Triggers City-Wide Discount Bonanza (isglitch.com)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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There’s Always A Catch: This Walkable City With A Robust Public Transport Network Is Boston (clickhole.com)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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You Couldn’t Make ‘Deadpool & Wolverine’ in Today’s Woke Culture (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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