The Onion

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The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

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Pocketpair Hires Identical Lawyers with Guns (hard-drive.net)
submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
4 comments fedilink
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Government directs Te Puni Kōkiri to conduct Māori Language Week in English (thecivilian.co.nz)
submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
7 comments fedilink
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Migrant Steals Occupational Injury From Hard-Working American (theonion.com)
submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
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'It's like living in a school zone,' Says Rattled Secret Service Agent Protecting Trump (www.duffelblog.com)
submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
16 comments fedilink
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Al Qaeda Marks 9/11 Anniversary with Honor Flight to New York (www.duffelblog.com)
submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
4 comments fedilink
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Kamala Safe And In Stable Condition After Attempted Interview (babylonbee.com)
submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
13 comments fedilink
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Trump Warns Immigrants Taking All The Good Vanity Plates (theonion.com)
submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
10 comments fedilink
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How Trump Is Appealing To Women Voters (theonion.com)
submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
8 comments fedilink
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Employer Says It’s OK To Not Be OK But HR Will Probably Use You Not Being OK Against You (www.betootaadvocate.com)
submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
31 comments fedilink
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Country Musician Put Out of Work by AI Capable of Boot Licking Ten Times Faster (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
6 comments fedilink
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redacted (redacted.com)
submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
 
 

redacted

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Man Asserts Being Conservative Divorced Dad Whose Kids Won’t Speak to Him Anymore is The New Punk Rock (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
30 comments fedilink
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Baby Boomers Leave Entire $78.55 Trillion Fortune To Single Spoiled Pomeranian (theonion.com)
submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
17 comments fedilink
 
 

subtitled screenshot of Walter Sobchak (John Goodman) in the 1998 film The Big Lebowski saying to Jeffrey "The Dude" Lebowski (Jeff Bridges) "Secondly, this is a fucking show dog with fucking papers" as Donny Kerabatsos (Steve Buscemi) looks on

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Tim Walz Under Fire for Allegedly Inflating Bag Toss Score at Family BBQ in 1998 (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
56 comments fedilink
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9/11 Truther Questions Why There Were Two Huge Bullseyes Painted On Side Of Twin Towers (youtu.be)
submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
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Cop Worried Illegal Immigrants Eating Neighborhood Dogs He Planned on Shooting (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
15 comments fedilink
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The Onion Front Page: September 10, 2024 (theonion.com)
submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
22 comments fedilink
 
 

https://theonion.com/todays-historic-front-page-september-10-2024/

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Trump Avoids Answering Hard Questions By Pretending He Shot In Ear Again (theonion.com)
submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
2 comments fedilink
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Kamala Harris Tells Donald Trump he Should Smile More (www.seahorseshoe.com)
submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
 
 

“He should smile more” said a beaming Kamala Harris. “He travels by private jet, won the Donald Trump golf trophy this year, and was the guest of honor in his January 6th fundraising gala. Yet all we see him do is scowl. You get more flies with honey than vinegar.”

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Air Force One Makes Emergency Landing at Dairy Queen (www.duffelblog.com)
submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
7 comments fedilink
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Cybertruck Owner Brags About High-Tech Pedal That Makes Vehicle Accelerate When Pressed (theonion.com)
submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
10 comments fedilink
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Apple’s Tim Cook to unveil reasons why your current iPhone is already a piece of shit (newsthump.com)
submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
44 comments fedilink
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'Trans People's Issues Alienate the Working Class,' Says Democrat Who's Never Met Either (reductress.com)
submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
105 comments fedilink
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Trump Campaign Powerless Against Group of Teenage Girls Saying "Ew" (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
34 comments fedilink
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Ezra Levant furious to discover he could have been getting money from Russia this whole time (www.thebeaverton.com)
submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
4 comments fedilink
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