The Onion

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The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

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Stressed Nation Asks Obama If It Can Bum 340 Million Cigarettes (theonion.com)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Neuralink Patient Unable To Stop Hand From Voting For Trump (theonion.com)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Report: High Turnout Traced To Americans Mistakenly Voting On Vending Machine (theonion.com)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Uninformed Citizen Scrambling To Research Last 2,500 Years Of Democracy Before Voting (theonion.com)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Man Wearing ‘I Vorted’ Sticker Beginning To Worry That Wasn’t Legitimate Polling Place (theonion.com)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Election Touchscreen Map Takes Deeper Look Inside Key Swing Voter | Onion News Network (www.youtube.com)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Randy Baker (theonion.com)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

1 comments fedilink

a short one, but still

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RFK Jr. Demands Secret Service Protection After Finding Cheez-It On Kitchen Floor (theonion.com)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Election Touchscreen Map Takes Deeper Look Inside Key Swing Voter (youtu.be)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

3 comments fedilink

Yes! A new ONN video and it's great!

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Morbidly Obese Trump Boys Regret Eating So Many Ballots (theonion.com)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Georgia Officials Remind Voters To Bring 2 Forms Of Weapon To Intimidate Election Workers (theonion.com)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Self-identified independent announces dinner preference of “I don’t know, whatever you don’t want” (thebeaverton.com)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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HARRISBURG, PA ― Undecided voter and self-described “non-partisan skeptical moderate” Deannah Sole has announced that, in the rapidly approaching election for tonight’s meal, which is locked in a dead heat between Italian and sushi, she intends to vote for whatever will leave everyone with an actual preference unhappy.

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Republican Voter Can’t Tell If Nazi Imagery In TV Ad Supposed To Be Positive Or Negative (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Trump Admits Relationship With Epstein Severed After Dispute Over Dibs On Ivanka (theonion.com)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Piss-Soaked Tucker Carlson Claims Demon Urinated On Him While He Slept (theonion.com)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Elon Musk Offers $1M to Anyone Who Signs His Birthday Card (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Historians Unearth Final Fundraising Telegraph Hitler Sent From Bunker (theonion.com)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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New Indiana Law Requires Women Voters To Show Husband’s ID (theonion.com)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Biden Whimpering From Inside White House Supply Closet (theonion.com)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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New Trump Ad Shows Montage Of People He’ll Kill If Elected | Onion News Network (www.youtube.com)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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U.S. Deploys Socially Awkward Men Along Border To Deter Migrants (theonion.com)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Dog Looks At Owner Who Put It In Costume Like Mafia Don Betrayed By Loyal Consigliere (theonion.com)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Pervert Goes Door To Door Asking For Trick-Or-Treaters (theonion.com)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Catholic Church Courts Youth By Adding Badass Deity With Robotic Falcon Head (theonion.com)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Report: Get Back Here And Apologize To Your Mother (theonion.com)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

0 comments fedilink