The Onion

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The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

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Texas Bans Sale Of Luggage To Pregnant Women (theonion.com)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Angela Merkel’s memoir only the second-best book written by a German leader, claims Nigel Farage (newsthump.com)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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TSA Face Scanner Sues Identical Twins for "Malicious Algorithm Abuse" (isglitch.com)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Legal Battle Could Set Precedent for Human-AI Relations, Experts Say

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News Media Struggling To Report Why Gunman Targeted Wealthy CEO Instead of Lashing Out at Immigrants or Women (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Notre-Dame Reopened To Fire (theonion.com)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Low Folding Chair Pulled Up To Corner Of Mar-A-Lago Conference Table For JD Vance (theonion.com)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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FDA Recommends Adding Little Tabasco To That Bad Boy (theonion.com)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present & Future Debut Radical New Strategy (hard-drive.net)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Here Are All the Games That Merrick Garland Played Instead of Doing His Job (hard-drive.net)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Study: More Americans Buying Firearms To Defend Selves From Toddlers Who Found Their Guns [Video] (youtu.be)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Joe Biden Pardon’s Hunter After Being Told the Man Is His Son (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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American Express Launches Small Sweatshop Saturday (theonion.com)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Anti-woke free-speech advocate disgusted to learn that his bathroom at home is gender neutral (newsthump.com)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Child dying from measles just glad he isn't autistic - The Beaverton (www.thebeaverton.com)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Bartlet, who says he used to enjoy Pokemon, soda, and being alive, tells everyone how great it is to be left totally defenseless against common childhood diseases from the 1940s.

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Study: Overuse Of Hair Detangler Giving Rise To Product-Resistant Supertangles (theonion.com)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Amazon's New Warehouse Robot Mocks Workers With Bathroom Breaks (isglitch.com)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Latest AI Enhancement Includes 'Biological Function Simulation Protocol'

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RFK Jr announces plan to put cocaine back into Coca-Cola (chaser.com.au)

submitted 8 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Donald Trump spends afternoon killing all Thanksgiving turkeys pardoned by Joe Biden (newsthump.com)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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FDA Bans Captain Morgan Rum After Having Way Too Much Of That Shit In College (theonion.com)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Report: Most Americans Have Enough Saved For Absolutely Incredible Single Day Of Retirement (theonion.com)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Defiant Joe Rogan insists he’s not a propaganda asset, just actually this stupid (www.thebeaverton.com)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Conservative Vows to End All Systems of Child Abuse Except Ones That Actually Exist (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Local Police Department’s Secret Santa Gift Exchange Entirely Made up of Punisher Merch (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Netanyahu Insists on Crimes Against Humanity During Game Night (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Dead Bird On Sidewalk Leads Man To Contemplate Own Inevitable Collision With Plate Glass (theonion.com)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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