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The original was posted on /r/nostupidquestions by /u/wippahsnappah on 2023-09-17 15:43:12.
Hey y’all, forgive me for making this post since i know there’s already a lot of this same kind of shit all over reddit but i’d feel a lot better if i made my own.
A few months ago, I (20M) thought i was going to have sex. A situationship of mine, who moved out of state a few years ago, was flying back to my area for a vacation with her family. We planned to meet up and although we didn’t talk about it, I thought there was a good chance that things would get intimate between us. When I realized this was a possibility, I suddenly became filled with dread. The fact I had a small penis had always been a lighthearted joke to myself and my friends. I never really minded the size, i always thought it was on the smaller side but still normal, but that all changed when i learned that i might have sex soon. I had a moment where i stopped and thought: “hold on a tick, is my size gonna matter?”
That thought led me down a small dicked rabbit hole that I have yet to pull myself out of. I began looking up basic things on google like if my size was adequate. One thing led to another and I found myself on r/smalldickproblems reading all sorts of horror stories about guys my size and bigger becoming celibate, getting rejected and overall having shitty lives just cause of their dick. I scoured the internet looking for someone in my situation who could say that the size never effected anything, that they led normal lives, but those types of stories were rare as hell. It was mostly people who sounded miserable, like having a small dick is an issue they struggle with in every romantic/intimate situation. Reading all these stories and realizing just how small I was threw me into a depression i’ve never experienced before. For about a week I felt borderline suicidal, ashamed of myself and useless, which i’ve never really felt before. I went from being completely ignorant to my size and generally pretty confident sexually, to being an insecure wreck. I eventually began to level out mentally after a week of suffering but the insecurity and feeling of inadequacy has lingered. I always get constant reminders in the form of small dick jokes on social media which never got under my skin until now.
For context, I’m a virgin with no sexual experience besides trading some nudes back in the day. The last time I measured my penis it was 4 inches erect, although I swear It has measured bigger in the past, like 4.5-4.7 inches. Last time I measured it was during my freak out suicidal period so maybe that effected the quality, i’m not sure. The fact I can’t remember for sure has led to a secondary fear that i was lying to myself about my size being 4.5-4.7 this whole time. I’ve been too terrified to measure myself again so i still don’t know for sure.
Since that hellish week i’ve stopped a lot of my porn consumption and began going to the gym consistently, i’ve already dropped 15 pounds which i’m super proud of. I don’t think i’m fat enough to where losing fat will reveal more length but it can’t hurt (I’m 5’11 175 pounds as of right now). I’m more than willing to learn to eat pussy and finger. Foreplay like kissing and grabbing seems as appealing to me as the actual act of PIV so that won’t be a problem. I’m just extremely concerned that none of that enthusiasm will matter in the end. I cant speak for all women but i feel like 4 inches can be a huge turn off for most once i pop it out. Those kinds of measurements are the ones that always get joked about so i can’t imagine any girl will be all that thrilled about it. I know that by the time pants come off a vast majority of women aren’t going to reject me in the moment but i’m more so concerned that it will keep women that i’m interested in from wanting anything more in the future once they see what i’m working with.
It feels good to get this all off my chest. I’m not sure what answers i’m looking for that i haven’t seen in the bazillion posts i’ve read. I guess all i’m still wondering is if i can go about life normally or if having my size is a sexual handicap that will limit me a considerable amount . Again sorry for this lame ass post, not trying to throw a pity party for myself. I appreciate any advice y’all can offer.