fakenews

The president called up his greatest man on the team, Operator Dan Bongos, and laid at his feet the task, capture the most wanted man in the world and bring him to justice. The raid took place in the early hours of June 5th 2025 in the mountains of Afghanistan where Musk was hiding out in a fortress once used by his hero Osama Bin Laden.

Live footage of the cardinal voting ceremonial smoke:

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The congresswoman listed crime and antisemitism on college campuses as her top reasons for the surprise move.

Responding to a request for comment, an NYC-DSA spokesperson expressed "dismay", but vowed to continue supporting Ocasio-Cortez, noting the "hard-fought" concessions won under the progressive Biden administration.

Despite a smear campaign claiming that I am launching a smear campaign against my mattress, I did NOT pee or poop the bed. I am not mad that people are lying about it. In fact, I am actually laughing and smiling at all of the misinformed lemmings who believe and repeat falsehoods about innocent women who simply like the feel of plastic sheets. Sources close to the story are claiming that the accusations seem like targeted behavior and experts suggest anyone claiming that my bed is continually being soiled examines their views on women in general.

"I, uh, I'm a big uh fan of Diddy [coughs] he uh he used to put me on a slip and slide with baby o-oil and I'd go flying down the hallway of the hotel into a big ol' pool of piss" Biden then died after confessing this to Anderson Cooper.

CNN obtained the exclusive audio from a cockpit voice recorder. Macron has made waves online for being a "certified freak of the week" and critics say this behavior is nothing new.

This is a developing story.