Not The Onion

Slim probe landed metres rather than kilometres from its target, but a rocket malfunction has left it in an undignified position

Alice Weidel told the Financial Times in an exclusive interview that the UK decision would be “dead right” for Germany, and that a “Dexit” would boost the country’s self-determination.

“It’s a model for Germany, that one can make a sovereign decision like that,” she said.

It was one of the party’s first public pronouncements since the beginning of a wave of nationwide protests against the AfD, triggered by revelations that leading members had attended a covert meeting at which a “masterplan” for mass deportations of foreigners and German passport holders was discussed, with a view to the party implementing the plans if it came to power.

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Under the Mississippi Constitution, people convicted of 10 specific felonies, including bribery, theft and arson, lose the right to vote. Under a previous state attorney general, the list was expanded to 22 crimes, including timber larceny — felling and stealing trees from someone else’s property — and carjacking.

To have their voting rights restored, people convicted of any of the crimes must get a pardon from the governor or persuade lawmakers to pass individual bills just for them with two-thirds approval. Lawmakers in recent years have passed few of those bills, and they passed none in 2023.

A bill set to be introduced next month would ban consuming or producing sexual content and punish offenders with prison sentences of up to 20 years and $25,000 fines.

The package delivery company DPD's AI chatbot was caught swearing at customers -- and even insulting DPD itself.

Oklahoma’s culture war-obsessed superintendent has appointed professional harasser Chaya Raichik — of the account Libs of TikTok — to the state’s Department of Education Library Media Advisory Committee.

Raichik has no background in education and worked as a real estate agent before her rise to prominence online.

A Chinese man was disqualified from the Xiamen Marathon for chain-smoking during the race, violating a new rule against uncivilized behavior.

Dr. Sean Kirkpatrick had a few choice words for the public on his way out the door of the Pentagon's All-domain Anomaly Resolution Office.

Belgian customs officers seized three times as much cocaine in the port of Antwerp last year as U.S. customs and border officials seized in all of the United States.

Rep. Paul Gosar blamed the drop in white recruits on the army’s supposed “woke Marxist ideologies.”

msn link: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/israel-orders-more-gazans-to-flee-bombs-areas-where-it-sends-them/ar-AA1kZ4rK

https://twitter.com/ZaKhatib/status/1731777583640141863

https://postimg.cc/yJmf4p13

Members of a French motorcycle group against bullying are charged with threats to headteacher.

A man whose stroke on the pickleball court was most unwelcome has allegedly been identified and arrested. Police say a 49-year-old Arlington resident was taken into custody Monday after a peeping incident along Columbia Pike Friday night. Just before 7 p.m. Friday, according to Arlington County police, the man was spotted masturbating while peeping into

The ongoing state of stress and anxiety in Israel has led to weight gain for many, but understanding how stress works can actually aid in shedding pounds while maintaining overall health.

“The Company remains unable to access the 98f Wallet. The investigation continues.”

Embattled GOP Congressman George Santos bragged about his weight loss and said he'd beat up Mitt Romney in a fight, Page Six reported.

A rights advocate said, “This is like the CIA putting out a statement saying that going forward they’ll only waterboard people with dignity and respect.”

When it comes to college-aged adults who are glued to their smartphones, experts argue over whether texting while walking increases the risk of an accident. Some studies have shown that texting pedestrians are more likely to walk into oncoming traffic, while other studies suggest that young adults have mastered the art of multitasking and are able to text accurately while navigating obstacles. However, few studies have measured how texters respond to unpredictable hazard conditions. By simulating an environment with random slipping threats, researchers report that texting increases the risk of falling in response to walkway hazards.

The finance department has entered into a $32,000 contract with an external consultant to provide advice on how it should engage other external consultants who also provide advice to government, in a move that has been slammed as a “laughable scenario”.

The contract has been compared to an episode of the ABC satire Utopia and as an example of the public service’s reliance on external expertise, even as the federal government tries to save money and do more work in-house.

The finance minister, Katy Gallagher, has confirmed Simon Longstaff, the chief executive of the Ethics Centre, has been hired to help the department decide how to best engage with consultancy firm PwC Australia and its new spin-off company, Scyne.

"Mother of Gabriel Infante, 24, sues employer for $1m, saying construction workers had no protections from extreme heat.

The lawsuit comes after Texas’s Republican governor, Greg Abbott, signed a controversial bill into law on 14 June that prohibits local municipalities from enacting heat protection standards for construction workers. The bill nullifies ordinances previously passed in Austin and Dallas that mandated 10-minute breaks for workers every four hours. A similar ordinance was being considered in San Antonio before the state bill was passed.

According to the lawsuit, Infante began exhibiting heatstroke symptoms including confusion, altered mental state, dizziness and loss of consciousness. His friend and co-worker Joshua Espinoza began pouring cold water over him, trying to cool him down. A foreman insisted Espinoza call the police, claiming Infante’s bizarre behavior was due to drugs, and the foreman pushed for a drug test when emergency medical services arrived

Infante later died in a hospital from severe heatstroke and had a recorded internal temperature of 109.8F (43.2C). The Center for Disease Control states a body temperature of 103F (39.4C) or higher is a main symptom of heatstroke.

“He’s never going to finish school, he’s not going to graduate, he’s not going to get married, he’s not going to give me the grandbabies that I want. He was a jokester, he was quiet, he was laid-back like his dad, and he would give you the shirt off his back.”"

Rip Gabriel Infante. What happened to you was unfair.

"It was determined that Hugh died from a 14.5 centimeter rip in his colon and other traumatic injuries caused by a sexual encounter with another, larger, male manatee at the facility, Buffett"

“He is a young soldier, he was facing consequences. I imagine he had a lot of negative feelings,” she told an audience at the Aspen Security Forum. “He may not have been thinking clearly, frankly, but we just don’t know.”